The girl who came from the dark
by RebMed
Summary: "Lux is found inside a shop and she recognizes Daryl, with whom she had a romance years ago. She's a survivor, broken but standing, and she will make friends with the crew in Alexandria. However, they will have face danger together..." Based on season 6, with a new female character, using her POV. Warning for explicit language and violence, mentions of sexual abuse and suicide.
1. Chapter 1

**Based on season 6, with a new female character, using her POV. Warning for explicit language and violence, mentions of sexual abuse and suicide.**

The air in the gas station was scorching and moist; it reeked of death, due to the two walkers trapped inside, tied by their ankles to the counter, close to the windows, so nobody would enter when they saw them.

They had been trapped by a girl, who was now sitting on the floor, dripping wet in sweat, playing with a revolver. She was skinny, her skin dry and gaunt, her blond hair frizzy, her eyes sad and aimless. She had been playing with the gun for days now; she was sure she was turning crazy, but couldn't or didn't want to do anything about it.

Lux was utterly tired of living, but for the first time she didn't have the determination of killing herself. She was sure that loneliness, famine and inactivity would eventually end her without an effort. She didn't know how long had she been on her own, but it had been definitely over a month. Maybe two. Her wounds were sure healing, both the outer and the inner, and she had grown up to be a survivor, with all the immoral acts it carried out.

There were people talking outside, but no distinct conversation. They were muttering and that only meant they wanted to break in.

"They want to break into my place. My place, my only shelter, where I've survived since I ran away from those monsters" she thought, stiff and curled up in a comforting position.

She wouldn't let them.

Lux stood up and pulled out her knife, the one on her right leg. Her jeans had a double fabric to hide a couple of blades, long, thin and sharp, so no one could see them until it was too late. She was able to use them better than a tooth brush, and had used them a lot lately.

The door opened; she had not repaired the lock since a kid broke in the previous week. It was part of her master plan to die somehow.

She saw a woman from her sneaking point, behind a shelf stuffed with car supplies. Her skin was dark, umber indeed, and she was as tall as her, thin. She wore thick dreads. Her gaze was fierce, ruthless. It was weird for Lux because she had not seen a strong, healthy woman since everything began, or ended. She pulled out a long blade, maybe a katana, and severed the walker's heads in two gracious moves.

She waited in the dark, and started moving in the opposite direction, around the shelf, to catch her by surprise. Both women wandered slowly and quiet until Lux was behind her, without noticing another stranger slipping inside the thick aired room.

Lux made a ghostly move and pushed the blade against the woman's throat, grabbing her waist tight against her.

"Okay bitch, don't panic." she whispered "I know you're not alone, but I promise I won't hurt you. Even more, you can keep that sticky pack of batteries with you and take your fine ass out. In return, you don't say you saw me. Get me? There's no one here inside. You tell your friends that and get the fuck out of here forever."

"Okay, I get you. I'm not saying shit, just don't hurt me." The woman was strangely calm.

"Good, get out now."

Lux didn't put the knife away, but she loosened her hug; then she heard the sound of a gun's lock sliding up.

"Fuck."

"Put the knife down." a tall man was speaking with an angry voice.

"No, I won't. I'm not leaving this place."

Lux used her elbow as a stick and tried to hit the man in the face, but the woman fled away and pushed her back, so she dropped her knife. Then she saw another man, hiding in the corner, as he said:

"It's fine, we won't hurt you."

She recognized his voice and his deep blue eyes.

"Daryl? What the fuck?"

Rick hit her in the forehead with his Colt 45. She fell on the dirty floor and yelled; however the biggest pain was not in her head, but in her pride.

The intruders left the place and started discussing outside. Michonne shouted in grief.

"Do you know the bitch?! Do you know her?!"

"Erm... sorta." Daryl replied. "I don't know, I'm not sure it's her."

"She recognized you." Rick was waiting for an answer.

"Well, we... used to..." Daryl began.

"It's complicated. You don't have to give more explanations." Lux was trying to stand up, but she was bleeding, and the wound on her scalp hurt bad. Rick helped her up and she picked her knife.

"Are you alone?" he asked, while grabbing her away. He noticed her liquid blue, lost gaze.

"Yes sir, because I like it that way." her voice sounded tired and raspy, yet bigoted.

Lux looked at Daryl from head to toe in total disbelief. There was barely a trace of the man she used to know. Once thin and athletic, he now had a well built figure, huge arms and was all dressed in black, denim and leather, with two wings sown to his vest. And his oily hair was reaching his shoulders.

"Now I would like you to get out of my property." Lux stated.

Rick cackled. "Well, we don't intend to invade your property, the truth is we have left our camp this morning to look for more people."

"Wait..." Michonne stared at him, mad.

"Who would do something like that?" Lux asked.

Rick sighed.

"How many walkers have you killed?"

"Walkers? You mean zombies? Today? Four. Five. I had to pee outside."

Daryl kept looking down at the ground in silence.

Michonne shook her head and returned to the van, where Glenn was waiting.

"What's up with her?" Glenn asked. "Is she coming?"

"I hope not, she just tried to kill me. And hear this, she's Daryl's ex-girlfriend."

"No way! Now I want to meet her!" he smiled.

* * *

"And how many people have you killed?"

"In self defense?"

"Yes."

"About 5."

Rick looked at Daryl, hoping for a back up, but he was still silent, now staring at her in gloom.

"And the rest? Why did you kill them?"

"Because they robbed me or because they raped me."

Both men looked away.

"Wow, wait, what is this about?" Lux asked, fuming "Do you want to take me to your Candy Land? I don't even want to go."

"You look starving, and you are clearly unsafe." Rick tried to maintain a kind attitude. He looked at her thin arms, long and shaking legs in ripped jeans, and stained pink top.

"I don't know if I would be safe with you." She turned to Daryl. "No offense dude, but I haven't seen you in a while."

Lux heard a walker moaning behind her and pulled the knife on her left leg, while muttering in anger.

"Oh, shit! Not you again!"

Then she threw the knife and stabbed the creature on his forehead.

The men froze in shock. There was a thick silence.

"Sorry. I insist." she turned back to them. "The answer is no."

"Do whatever you want." Daryl walked away towards the van.

"Fine, I'm glad to see you." She replied, upset.

"Excuse him, he is not very talkative." Rick said.

"I'm aware. Look, you seem very friendly and eager to meet people... but the truth is I don't like people."

"You will regret not coming." Rick's voice was firm now.

"I regret a shit load of things in my life, but doing something, or better not doing it, because I'm scared, is not one of them." Lux concluded. "Trust me, this is a waste of time. Go back to your van and keep searching for living ones."

"Fine, I give up. Just let me bring you a band aid for your wound, and a snack."

"Thank you."

Rick opened his emergency backpack and grabbed both things, plus a bottle of water.

"Here you are, and I apologize, but you know..."

"These days, I know. "She took a sip while looking at him in the eye, flirting." Have it back, there is a good stream behind the station.

"Are you serious you don't want to come?"

"As a liver cancer. I'm glad you came and showed me the goods of the county, but I prefer it here. Thanks again, for real. Tell Daryl I'm happy to see him so good."

"Farewell, then..."

"My name is Lux. Farewell, Rick.

She took a bite of the cereal bar and headed back to the station.

"She is not coming, period. I helped her with supplies, and that was it."

There was an awkward silence inside the van. Rick wouldn't start the car.

"I tried my best, still I feel bad for her."

"Trust me, it's better not to insist." Daryl mourned.

"You are a complete asshole!" Glenn exploded.

"What?!" Daryl shouted. "Mind your business, you don't know her."

"So what? She dumped you ages ago, and you are so full of remorse that you are leaving her alone in a stinky hole? For real? I don't know you."

"First, I insist, you don't know her." Daryl replied. "Second, and more important, she just refused to come three times in a row."

"She's scared."

"She's stupid! That's why she is alone in the first place."

Rick rose his voice from the driver seat and asked.

"Tell me what you know about her."

Daryl covered his face with his big hands and moaned in disgust.

"She's a go getter... from Iowa, around 35 though she looks younger, swears like a sailor, drinks like... me. And she's completely nuts."

"Is she reliable?" Rick asked again.

"If you are asking me, no, she's not. But I don't think she would mean a threat for the group."

"Well then, what do we do? I mean, she's good with the knives."

"We don't need a circus artist." Michonne replied, cynically.

"I'll go. And I'll take her in, and you'll see she's worth the effort." Glenn rushed out before the others could stop him.

Lux was smoking, sitting on the floor with the remains of the bar in her hand, and the band already covering the wound.

"Hi, I..." he stopped, gasping for air inside the shop." My name is Glenn.

She rose her head." Hi Glenn.

"May I come in?"

"Whatever."

He sat beside her.

"You don't have any food but you have Pall Mall?"

"Priorities." she tried to laugh. "You guys are stubborn."

"We know what it feels like to be lone and lost. We really want you with us."

"Daryl doesn't."

"Well, he is not exactly cheerful, but he is the one more insisting in looking for more people."

"So then it's personal."

"Don't think about it, you seem to have a story together but there are a lot of people in our community."

She looked at him, curious.

"How many people?"

"Around thirty."

"And how many women?"

"Mmm... twelve. Yeah, twelve." He wasn't counting Enid and Judith.

"That's a lot." She went silent, thinking. "Are all of them as fierce as Pam Grier there?"

"Ha ha ha yes, they are totally bad ass."

She noticed the wedding ring in his finger. "Is your wife with you?"

He smiled "Yes, I met her in the group long ago."

"That's sweet. And you're still together?"

"Yes. We're expecting a baby!"

"You are pulling my leg! That's super sweet..."

"You see? We are good guys. You mustn't be scared."

"It's not you, I mean, I know Daryl and he wouldn't mess with gangs, but, you know... weird people come, and fights happen, and the dead break in, and friends die."

"I guess you've had a bad experience, but I promise you it won't happen again.

Lux believed him, he seemed such a nice man. But it was not only the group, there was something inside her that made her fear other people. Still... it would be so great to have friends and a shelter...

"Is your community safe?" She continued "For real? With walls and such?"

"Oh yes! It's great. We have watchtowers, snipers, a clinic, and a garden where we are planting crops... electricity, running water..."

"Hot and cold?"

"Yes!"

"Dude, I didn't have hot water in my apartment!" She stood up. "I'm in!"

Glenn burst in laughter. "Okay then, pack your stuff and let's go!"

Lux looked at her home for the last time and grabbed her bag and her guns, the revolver and the desert eagle. She had already picked the knives and put them back in her pockets.

They both walked to the van, chatting happily, and went inside.

"You see?" said Glenn, with a huge smile on his face. "I'm a better speaker."

"She might prefer people who don't hit her." Rick winked at her. "Welcome, Lux."

She sat at the back and looked for a comfortable position. "Thanks Rick. I know all your names except for the lady with the Japanese sword."

"My name is Michonne, and I'm still pissed."

"Good to know" she smiled, naughty.

Rick drove away. The ride was being awkward.

"Well, Daryl, how you doing?" Lux started.

He mumbled "fine, can't complain. And you?"

"Good, I just found friends."

"Excuse me, but you look as if a junkie ate you and spat you out." Daryl mocked.

She thought for a second. "Well, you look as if you just crashed into a Harley Davidson store. Don't get me wrong, it's hot but excessive."

Glenn cackled.

"Hey, don't laugh at your friends." Lux teased him, winking at him.


	2. Chapter 2

**Based on season 6, with a new female character, using her POV. Warning for explicit language and violence, mentions of sexual abuse and suicide.**

"Well, welcome home. I'll get you to the infirmary for a checking and then you'll stay at Deanna's house." Glenn was helping out of the van. " She is lonely now."

"Great, I can't wait to crash on a bed!" Lux cheered.

"Just to set things straight, doll." Daryl said, grabbing his crossbow as he headed away" "I'm not your babysitter, I'm not looking after you. You're not leaning on me, ¿understand?"

The people around, including Maggie, who had just arrived to welcome them, went silent and nervous.

"As if I could count on you to look after me, motherfucker!" Lux replied.

Daryl took an angry glimpse at her and turned away. "Fine, see you around."

"Fine." she replied, bothered.

"Fine!" Daryl shouted, as he walked away.

"This is going to be tough to deal with." "Rick whined."

"Don't worry, I don't care about his guts anymore. Where's the infirmary?"

The way to the infirmary was a bit hard to put with. Everyone was looking at her and she felt belittled. But they were nice, greeting and welcoming her at every step.

They arrived and Glenn took her backpack to the house next to it. He talked to Maggie alone. "Listen, she... she was raped, at some point, I don't know if she wants to talk about it... but just in case. You know, in case there is something to take care of.

"Yes, I understand. I will wait a bit and carefully mention it to Denise if she doesn't do it. Thank you. It's great you brought her.

"I hope we don't regret it.

They kissed goodbye.

"OK, so here we are, ¿what's your name?

"Lux... Rogers, let's leave it like that.

"Good, my name is Denise and this here is Tara, my assistant.

"I am Maggie.

"Nice to meet you all.

"Well, we are going to make a quick examination and then we'll talk a bit. Do you mind taking off your shirt?

"Course not.

She did so, and they could see her entirely: the worn out white bra, the dirt, the bloodstains, the cuts on her wrists, the bruises, and the ribs, all of them. And a huge tattoo of a red fish across her back, twisting and turning.

Nobody talked.

"Do you mind weighing? How much do you usually weigh?

"130 pounds in a good year, I guess I've lost a ton. "she stepped onto the scales.

"Yup, 90. You travel light. "Tara tried to made a joke, and Lux smiled at her.

"Right, it's nothing to worry about, you'll gain it back soon. You have an ugly wound on your shoulder, though. Tara, please wash it clean and tap it.

"Yes, ma'am.

"How about your period?

"I don't have any.

"Already? ¿How long have you been starving? You don't look so bad.

"I uh... lost it long ago. Due to... surgery. Surgeries. "She looked down, embarrassed.

"Oh, well. Any other thing that you want to check?

"Well, the truth is... I could use some antibiotics.

"What for?

"I don't know exactly. "She chose the words carefully. "It could be a ton of things.

Maggie spoke quietly from the bed next to her. "Do you want a rape kit? We have one.

"That could do it, but I don't need abortion pills, my oven is done.

"Okay, got it. How long ago was it? "Denise was taking charge of the situation.

"I don't remember... maybe two months, or longer.

"Fine, we'll do a treatment for some weeks, and I think that will be it.

"I'm sorry. "Tara brought her a clean shirt, and put her hand on her shoulder.

"I'm fine, I'm actually better than ever. "She managed to smile. "This place is so clean, and... fuck, I can hear people talking outside. It's making me emotional.

They looked at her and pitied her fondly.

They helped her to the new house and made her bed. She calmed down for the first time in long and locked herself in the bathroom, carrying clean towels. She couldn't believe it. Everybody was so kind, everything was so good, and she was suddenly so full of hope, that she couldn't breathe. She opened the hot tap, grabbed the soap and burst into tears.


	3. Chapter 3

**Based on season 6, with a new female character, using her POV. Warning for explicit language and violence, mentions of sexual abuse and suicide.**

Carol was sitting at her porch, enjoying the warm breeze which caressed the trees beside the swing. She was looking at her fingers while having a fag.

"Hi Daryl, you can talk to me." She said, after seeing him leaning on her fence.

"Hi. Sorry, it's weird to see you so..."

"So housewife?"

"Yeah, that's it. You have another one?"

"Sure, there you go."

He lit it up and sat on the fence.

"So... how's things?"

"Good."

"Good." he replied.

"Are you asking about Ben?"

"Yeah, I guess."

"He's a fine man, I'm happy with him." she smiled.

"Great, I'm glad to hear that."

"What about you?"

"What about me?"

"That girl... you knew, what's up with her?"

He shrugged his shoulders, uncomfortable. "She's fine now."

"You seem to have a big remorse for her. It's been a week and you won't even pass her by."

"It's not just that... She reminds me of the man I used to be. And I don't like him."

"And she hurt you."

"I hurt her too. I hurt her bad." He kept quiet for a long time.

"Then it was love."

He stood up and lit down the cigar against the wall. "I gotta go. I gotta... bye Carol."

"Bye, I'm sorry."

* * *

Her new bedroom had a big, square window, looking right down at the garden where some of the women were planting daffodils. Lux was looking at them like she had not ever seen flowers, despite having lived in the woods; for these were in line, forming shapes, ordered by colour. It was perfect.

She had only slept for five hours, but she felt fine. Lux had a wide range of nightmares and didn't enjoy sleeping. The difference was that now, every time she woke up terrified, wet and desperate, she found herself tuck in a clean bed, and the room was silent. Just the crickets, and that was all. No walkers, no screams, nothing. The whole world was good again.

The weeks went by without her noticing. She was busy all day because she wanted, no one made her work. She just couldn't stand talking, though she liked the people in there; she felt like she was making friends, but she avoided deep conversations. She preferred working in the garden, the crops, repairing walls or painting the house; and she was becoming very popular because she liked sowing, and everybody needed their clothes fixed.

Lux didn't see Daryl during the first week. She didn't ask anybody about him, but she was curious, and upset. On the third day in Alexandria, Maggie approached her while she was working with a pair of jeans.

"Hi, how are you doing?" Maggie asked

"I'm good, and you?"

She smiled and sat by her side.

"You seem to be adapting well, it's nice."

"Oh yeah, I'm great!" Lux cheered "This is a beautiful place. I'm just sorry I don't feel like sharing too much, I'm a bit tired of telling my life."

"No problem, nobody will make you talk. How many groups have you been in?"

"Two. Three, actually."

"That's a lot."

"Yup." Lux tried to change the matter, cutting the thread. "You can bring more stuff, these are done. Or tell Glenn in case he needs something; I don't mind, as long as it's clean."

"Alright, I'm not asking you to have a social life..."

"You are about to. I get it, but honestly, I need time."

"No, I'm not speaking about making friends in general."

"No, you are talking in particular. I'm not in the mood."

"I'm a bit disappointed, I just don't know why he's behaving like that."

"Girl, you are disappointed because you expect something from him." She stood up.

"Hey, he is my friend, I know he has reasons, but... I just though he would talk to you at any minute. Just come and say hello, whatever."

Lux looked away and said:

"Look, I'm not going to tell you our story, which wasn't a love story, but hell, I understand him."

"He's being rude, he brings you and dumps you, that's not like him."

"Honey, for all that is worth, if I were him, I wouldn't talk to myself either."

Lux left and went straight to bed.

* * *

"Hi." Daryl greeted

"Yo! Glad to see you."

"I was here all the time." Daryl tried to speak nicely.

"Yes, you were avoiding me."

Daryl bent down opposite her, who was sowing clothes.

"Why did you cut your hair? I preferred it longer."

"So they wouldn't grab it."

He gulped and began to talk carefully.

"I'll be frank, I don't know how to function with you." He said, awkward and gentle. "I don't want to bother you, but I don't want to ignore you either."

"Well, I feel the same." she let down the shirt she was fixing.

"Okay, I'll leave it up to you. What do you want from me?"

She bit her bottom lip and said "I wanna screw you until your nose bleeds, that's what I want."

He mumbled something she didn't understand and left.


	4. Chapter 4

**Based on season 6, with a new female character, using her POV. Warning for explicit language and violence, mentions of sexual abuse and suicide.**

"Hello, are you busy?"

"Not really, why? Why are you guys here?"

Rick, Abraham, Sasha, and Daryl were standing before her.

"I want you to show me what you do with your knives." Rick said.

"Now?"

"You said you were not busy." He insisted.

"I ain't." she stood up and put the book she was reading, _The shining_ , on the table there was in the garden. "Who wants to be target?" she laughed.

"The walkers." Abraham said. "We're going out."

"Out? Like, away?"

"Yes. Do you mind? You have been here for three weeks."

"Oh well, today is the day." Lux gave up "Let's go."

They came out and chose a clear patch to practice.

"Good, it's your pick." Rick said, arms cross.

"Er... the one with the red shirt."

"Are you sure? He's far."

"Yup." she turned around to warn the ones behind her. "Watch!"

Lux threw a blade and it hit the walker's ear, and his body hit the ground.

"Impressive." Rick observed. "Now go for the one on the right."

"Yes, Sir." another kick, another score.

"Now pick your revolver, and go for the one beside the tree."

"Which one? There are two."

"Er... The short one."

She hit him on the head and he fell too.

"Girl, we are retiring" Abraham laughed. The others kept quiet.

"Okay, now for the big daddies." Rick continued. "Can you use a rifle?"

"I was able to ages ago, so I'll try my best."

She failed one and caught two corpses.

"Can I ask you a favor now?"

"Do I have to pick the bullets?" Lux laughed.

"Ha ha ha, no. I was about to ask you to use your desert eagle. And by the way, how the hell did you get it?"

"I spent the first weeks of the apocalypse with the National Guard. Then they fell too, but basically it was a training camp."

"And you stole a gun." Daryl said.

"I grabbed it from the cold dead hands of a colonel. So yes, I stole it from a walker." Lux replied, cross.

Rick took the gun and pulled it on a walker 10 feet from him.

"You're doing it wrong, you can't hold it in front of your face. It has a huge recoil, you could break your nose."

Rick corrected the position and shot. The sound was blasting. The corpse fell down like a bird.

"Good shot." Lux said.

"Thanks. Have it. Well, Miss, I think you are ready to make guards on a tower."

"Which one?" she asked.

"How "which one"? Are you going to choose?"

"Yes, the third one is terrible, there's no sight of the gates."

"How come do you know that?" Abraham asked.

"Sometimes I climb them."

"Why do you climb towers?" Rick asked.

"I climb everything because the walkers can't do it."

"Okay, which one do you want?"

"The first or the fourth."

Sasha looked at her suspiciously, she liked her position in the first.

"Alright, you'll have the fourth." Rick concluded. "Seven in the morning, every other day. You start tomorrow."

"Perfect! I'm tired of cleaning."

"You talk to Deanna, I guess her biggest problem without you won't be the washing up."

"Now... congratulations and welcome to the army, but please, I need to know." Abraham approached her and shook her hand. "How the fuck did you learn to throw knives?"

She hesitated and replied: "I toured with the circus for one entire summer."

"For real?"

She smiled and didn't reply.


	5. Chapter 5

**Based on season 6, with a new female character, using her POV. Warning for explicit language and violence, mentions of sexual abuse and suicide.**

The work at Deanna's house was light, but kept her there inside for hours. She cleaned, washed, tidied up and kept it proper while her owner mourned the death of her husband, one of her sons, her daughter in law and two grandsons. She just felt she couldn't bear with it all. Lux wasn't talkative, but helped her carrying out and, just having another person sleeping near her was part of it.

She had a uniform, and she felt good in it. It was clean, she ironed it carefully and it made her think of her times as a waitress, except that here the customers were kind and the boss was lovable.

Lux kept her job inside the house at the same time as she started watching at her tower in the morning shift. She didn't want to quit Deanna, and besides, Daryl came to bring food and meds a couple of times a week, when he had it easier to pass after his patrol. They wouldn't talk, but she felt good having him near for some minutes, and she was afraid of leaving the house, because she might lose his track. The community was quite big and the routines of each person where settled, and strict. She was afraid of not seeing him at all, because she knew he didn't want her near.

Right one month after he found her, one morning, Daryl went upstairs.

"Hi." he greeted.

"Hi. What are you doing here?"

"I came to bring the food and supplies your boss asked me to."

"Great, but you only had to come downstairs for that." Lux continued making the bed. He had trimmed and got a new white shirt, but he wouldn't cut his hair.

"I just thought I could come and you know, greet you, but I can see you don't like it."

"I'm sorry. Hello, Daryl, how are you?"

"Good." He glanced at her body, defying. "Hell, that uniform makes you look ridiculous."

She straightened and looked at him full of rage.

"And you look like the groom in the tart."

"Fine. Bye."

She regretted being so rude and came out of the room, while he was going down the stairs.

"Hey. She won't be back for the next hour."

"Why should I care?"

"Whatever. Bye."

He hesitated for a second. There were a million reasons why he should get out of the house and forget about her, but the ugly truth was that he wanted her bad. She wanted it too, and there was not much they both could do against it. He turned around and went back to the bedroom. Lux was standing up, chin up, prettier than ever.

"I thought you wouldn't come back."

"You knew I would, you're smarter than me."

He kissed her and grabbed her waist, much thinner than he remembered. She started unbuttoning his shirt.

"Wait." he said.

"Why?"

"Do you really feel good with this?"

"Yeah. I want you, I really do."

They started having encounters from time to time, every two or three days, but they barely talked. They didn't tell anyone else about it; they felt it was already too complicated to give explanations. They only met once in Deanna's house, then, they chose one of the cars, or the grass in the backyard... and one night he took her into Rick's house, where he always slept, when everybody was upstairs. They both were drunk, and didn't think much about it. She left the house right after, and then he took her in the following day again. It became sort of a routine for a week. Always at night, always quick, always silent, but gentle. Sweet and caring like never before.

* * *

Lux woke up at 4 AM, dizzy, with his taste in her mouth. She made sure Daryl was sleeping and the house was silent, and tried to stand up, but he grabbed her top, mumbling something.

"I gotta go, they're asleep." She said. "Bye."

"Stay with me."

"Dude, you're drunk. It's late, I'm out."

"No, don't go. I want you here."

Lux looked at Daryl with a loving glance, and stroke his hand. "it's very nice of you, but I gotta go. If Rick finds me here, I'll die with shame."

"It ain't the worst thing you've done. And I always wake up before him, don't worry. I'll kick you out before they notice. But please stay."

She didn't want to leave. Everything she needed was there, even if he snored and stank.

"You win. I'll stay. Hold me tight."

"Good night."

* * *

"What are we doing?" she asked, her arms around his shoulders, his head on her chest, laying down on the couch in the middle of the night.

"What?"

"Like, we barely speak during the day, because we have so much to do, and we have no tasks together, and then I come here every night... What are we doing?"

He turned his face to her, half asleep. "I have no clue, but I like it. Don't you?"

"Yeah, I do."

"Then go back to sleep. Gotta be up at six."


	6. Chapter 6

**Based on season 6, with a new female character, using her POV. Warning for explicit language and violence, mentions of sexual abuse and suicide.**

"Morning" Lux was taking her backpack and her guns inside the Corolla Abraham used to drive.

"Hi, how are you?" Daryl tried to be nice but he had a concerned gaze.

"Good. Are you coming to look for food?"

"No, I can't. I gotta go with Rick to the other community, the one I told you about."

"The one you won't take me because I'm not a VIP?" she whined, joking.

"I won't take you there because they are a bunch of dicks, and they have serious problems, they are being exploited."

"That Negan again?"

"Those Negan, that's the problem. We don't know how many they are. And they are stealing half of everything this community has, so we have a problem now. The other day, when I told you they had entered Hilltop and try to kill the boss... well, it wasn't them, it was someone from inside following their orders.

"Fuck."

"Yeah. They are screwed, and so are we unless we do something.

"Something like what? Attacking them?"

"Probably." He shrugged his shoulders, like no big deal.

"You know that saying that goes, "don't mess in other people's wars"?"

"Then, if you don't wanna go to war, you better find food. A lot. For sixty people, them and us. Now."

"Fine, have a nice day."

"The same for you."

He felt bad and kissed her on her forehead.


	7. Chapter 7

**Based on season 6, with a new female character, using her POV. Warning for explicit language and violence, mentions of sexual abuse and suicide.**

It was a hot day, at the end of the summer. Daryl was driving to Hiltop with Rick.

"You could take the bed. "Rick said, trying to break a conversation."

"What?"

"I can see you are uncomfortable on the couch, and there is an empty bedroom on the ground floor."

"I'm fine sleeping on the couch" Daryl replied, visibly cross.

Rick sighed, looking for the best words to be straightforward. "I'm not talking about you alone, I'm talking about you AND your girlfriend.

"She's not my girlfriend and... How did you find out?"

"I've been leading this group for three years now, I look after you, I defend you and I'm aware of everything that happens, so I can notice a girl sneaking inside my house late at night."

Daryl didn't reply.

"Look, I know that it feels like commitment, but if you like her, just take her in. I've already talked to Michonne and she's okay with it."

"It would be awkward."

"Awkward? And having you sleeping and... all the rest in the middle of the living room is not?"

"Did you hear us?"

"All the damn time."

"Fuck." "Daryl fixed his eyes on the road ahead, without looking at Rick.

"You are a restless tiger ha ha" Rick joked, after some time.

"Oh, shut the fuck up!" Daryl whined.

"Hey, you don't have to make it official, and we're not throwing a party. Just tell her to bring her stuff when she comes tonight. Because she will."

"Alright."

"You're welcome."

"Thanks, it's just... it's weird, man." Daryl calmed a bit. "We're not the kind of people who move together."

""The kind of people". Appreciated."

"No offense, I mean we are not like you..." Daryl looked straight at him "We're just a couple of losers who crashed together."

"That's the point, isn't it?"

"I like her... but I wish things were easier... though they never were easy between us."

"Man, it's the end of the world. You have a beautiful girl absolutely crazy for your bones, go and get her. That's what I'm saying."

"As if you had been fast."

"I lost my wife giving birth to a baby I love fondly, even though I'm not her father. Gimme a break."

"Okay, you win."

There was a thick silence inside the car.

"By the way, talking babies..." Rick began again.

"Don't get me started."

"No, I was going to ask you if you are doing something _to avoid_ them."

"Well, the truth is... she can't have them."

"I'm sorry. Or I'm not, as you prefer."

"To put it short, she refused to have them until she broke the oven."

"Oh. Jesus." Rick looked shocked "Then it's her choice."

"Totally."

"Was any of them... yours?"

"No, and please stop asking questions about her life. It's always sad."

Rick waited for a while before asking "Is it so bad?"

Daryl looked for a good spot on the side of the road, without walkers or obstacles, and pulled over.

"Why do you care so much?" Daryl asked.

"Hey, I'm just curious." Rick apologized, rising his hands. "You have to understand, it is the first time we find someone that one of us knew from before, someone you had never mentioned, by the way, and I wish to told me more about her, especially since you both are going to live with us now."

"We can pick another house, there are a few empty now."

"That's not the point. I just want you to give me some clues, some kind of reference. I'm scared of what could happen if... if she hurt you."

Daryl looked at him, thoughtful. Then he put his hands on the wheel and started "She is haunted. She has always been. She has bad nightmares, it was always like that. Before her assault, before the walkers took the place, even before I met her, she was always had a bad life. There is someting dark inside her. She has told me a bit about it, but I don't want to know more. She has had it tough, and she has come through. That's the only important thing."

"Should I fear for her?" Rick asked, afraid.

"No, I think she is quite fine now. It's just... she is nothing like other girl I've met, in any way. And she is a good person, believe me. We can trust her. But don't expect her to be stable. Or kind."

Daryl started the car and drove towards the road again.

"Okay, I have enough with that." Rick relaxed "And... I don't need details, but... is she good? Like, you know." He winked. "Good?"

"Hahaha she's awesome! Something spectacular. But you will have to trust me, 'cause, you know, you'll never check by yourself."

Rick smiled and didn't reply.


	8. Chapter 8

**Based on season 6, with a new female character, using her POV. Warning for explicit language and violence, mentions of sexual abuse and suicide.**

 **I have just updated this chapter with the full text. Thanks.**

Daryl was waiting at Deanna's porch when Lux came for lunch.

"Hi, what are you doing here?" She was so beautiful under the sunlinght, that he though it was a shame he usually saw her only at night. That gave him the nerve to ask her.

"There is something I have to tell you."

"Well, go on." She looked unpatient. "Is everything alright?"

"Yes, it's just..." he leaned on the fence, taking her hand softly. "Rick told me you can move with me." he spoke so quick and low that she barely understood.

"Move? Where? Us?" She smiled, nervous. "It's a bit early, don't you think?"

"Uh... he doesn't think so, he's a bit tired of... well... anyway we sleep together every night so..."

"Oh my God." she scratched her head "this is so awkward."

"Ha ha, it's fine, it's alright, just... just come with me. We can share the bedroom downstairs, it will be fine."

She looked at him, insecure, crossing her arms. "Do you feel good about this?"

"Yes. It makes sense to me, I need you at night." he replied. "But I don't want to push you. So, you don't have to decide now."

It was too good to be true. Her life was changing more in the last month than it did the previous year. But he made her feel so good... And, as he said, she would sleep with him one way or the other.

"You know what?" She resolved, after a while. "It's the end of the world. We are doing this. I'll pack after cleaning up."

"Really?" he smiled, full of joy. "See you tonight." He took off her cap and kissed her on the lips. "Bye."

"Bye, I hope you clean and prepare the suite." She mocked, grabbing back her cap.

* * *

Lux brought her backpack at night, but there was no one there. She guessed it was due to some meeting like the ones the community had, which she wasn't invited to. She left it inside the bedroom, and when she came out, she freaked out: the living room was full with the women.

"Surprise! "Carol greeted.

"Fuck, you're giving me a hen's night!"

"Hey, it's the least when can do." Maggie seemed pretty excited "We had not seen Daryl so happy since... ever?"

"Ever." Carol replied, with a tired smile.

"And since you're gonna live under my roof, you better know my friends. In case you do something wrong and they come to get ya." Michonne said.

"Well, you seem pretty surprised, how's that?" Lus asked, amazed "I mean, I can't be the first one, right?"

Nobody answered.

"No way!" Lux insisted.

"He hasn't been very... talkative, ever. And he didn't even try anything... at least with me." Maggie replied.

"Same here." Sasha said.

"Well, Maggie doesn't count because she humped on Glenn immediately, and the rest... I guess we're not his type." Carol concluded.

"What about you, Tara?" Lux asked.

"Well, I... don't have an opinion."

"I know, I was teasing you. I'm sorry ha ha ha."

"So you knew about me and Denise?"

"Girl, I lived in Seattle for one year. I can notice lesbian vibes ringing from miles away."

"OK, enough with the cheeky chat. Let's go straight to the point. How did you meet?" Michonne asked.

"Huh... it's not nice, or romantic."

"Just start with "we went to the same bar", or "we used to buy groceries together"", Rosita joked.

"Do you really wanna know? OK, Let's open a beer." Lux settled back and put her boots on the table.

"I'll start saying that I used to work as what society often labels as a "stripper", though we prefer the terms "exotic dancer" or "go go dancer". I see you open your eyes wide, it's normal. I'm not feeling judged or anything. By the way, I even won a couple of pole dance contests. The thing is, Daryl used to come a lot to my club, but don't get him wrong, he wasn't a pimp, he just used to drink as a miner, and he preferred to do it surrounded by beautiful girls in bikini."

"Well, I wasn't expecting that." Carol said, upset.

"Don't you change your opinion on him, he was the nicest man to ever step there. His brother, I don't know if you ever heard of him, used to come with him in the beginning, but got kicked out for being a total creep and I never saw him again."

"It comes as no surprise." Maggie said, and all them nodded except for Tara and Rosita.

"I'm sorry you met him. Well, I must say he liked all of us, okay, I saw him ripping all the girls apart with his eyes, one by one. So, he came to watch for a couple of weeks, and he started being sort of welcome because he gave very nice tips. He used to gamble at the time."

"Excuse me, but I've always been curious. How much can a stripper make a night? Well sorry, and "exotic dancer"" Tara mocked her with gestures.

"That's a damn interesting question. I have to say that back in Atlanta, I never got more than 400 a week, but my record is 1200 $ in tips on one night, General Motors congress, Chicago. I was 22, that's important."

"Jeez. Thank you. Go on."

"Thanks. He started obsessing with me, and as much as I had got used to call security every time I felt uncomfortable... well, I felt good about him, I don't know why. I have to state that when I met him, he looked more of a red"neck and less of a commando, but even then, he was nice. I could have him below my feet for half an hour while I was dancing naked and covered in glitter, and yet I didn't care. He asked for a couple of lap dances, and he was a total sweetheart. And he had the gloomiest eyes I had seen, glancing at me like a lost pup."

"He then began to talk to me, and that was a problem. You see, kind men are not welcome in these places. There are two likely options when men socialize with you: either they're about to kill you and chop your body in pieces or they want to retire you, which is even worse for the business."

"So, I didn't pay attention to him, and he tried to be careful since he almost got kicked one night, for talking to me. For treating me like a person. Well, he used his chance one night I was replacing a girl, Pat, who used to wait the bar (in bikini, of course), and he sat opposite me for 7 hours. I swear. I was nervous, but not for me, I didn't fear him, but for the managers. Anyway, he drank his ass out and didn't stop asking questions. Nothing gross, just a bit judgmental. I don't know, he was wondering what I was doing there because he thought I was fun and clever."

"The thing was, I finished at six AM, cleaned, tidied, changed, chatted a bit with the girls, and headed home. He was waiting for me at the back door. And he invited me for breakfast. And I said no. I couldn't do that, I'd got fired immediately. He didn't reply and left. He insisted for an entire week, day after day. Then, one night I didn't spot him at the club, I thought he forgot me, but there he was, at 7 AM. He got up early to pick me. And I accepted. I liked him, and he acted like he was very interested, no guy had been so stubborn about me before. I ate as much as I could, he made fun of me, we laughed, and he walked with me to my car. And he said good morning and turned away. He didn't try anything, and I got pissed, because that meant he really liked me. I wasn't used to that. I was used to leave the club, or any place, have sex, that was it. And also I realized I really liked him, so I was screwed. I had never liked a man before even kissing."

Lux stopped talking, drank some more, while the women looked at her with a feeling between thrilling and surprise. Then she lit up a cigarette.

"I plain avoided him the next week. I didn't look at him, I didn't want to dance to him, I changed some shifts. I was upset because he would think I didn't like him, but that was the only thing I could do. He gave up, or so I thought, because I didn't see him for some days. And then, one morning I was changing, and he knocked at the door of the dressing room. He actually risked his life, because if the security found him, they would have beaten the shit out of him. Somehow, the girls knew beforehand, and when he knocked, they dressed up immediately and left me alone. And there he was, the damn idiot, sober, with a yellow flower in his hand. I said "thank you", and he told me he had picked the flower at his garden. And that was it. No conversation, no breakfast: we went to my car and hooked up for an hour straight. And it was the most romantic moment in my life."

"This story is part kinky, part adorable." Michonne laughed hard.

"As everything about me. Well, that morning I decided to quit. Classic moment in a hooker's life. For some days we hanged in bars, and eventually in my apartment, but I wanted to do something really big. He was broken, so it was up to me. I forgot to say that he didn't have a mobile phone, or any phone, or a proper address. He was my baby lost in the woods. So, I packed some shit and 5 grand in a sports bag, I picked him up where he told me, and we headed to Atlantic City."

"No way! This is getting crazy!" Maggie was excited.

"You'll shit your panties. Anyway, we registered at the hotel, bought some snacks and packs of beer, and rented cable TV. We went up, room 663, and locked ourselves in."

"Wow." Sasha said.

"Yeah. We didn't buy a fucking token in seven days. We didn't leave the room, except for going for a walk, but not even everyday. That was the peak of our relation, screwing each other's brains out, drinking, and watching porn and documentaries on the jungle, laughing out loud. We had to change rooms, because... well, you know, I was that kind of girl who is chased by a psychotic ex"boyfriend from time to time. But Daryl didn't even care. He spent his resting time drawing doodles, I didn't recognize what was on most of them. I don't even know. It was fun. And I fell in love. And so did he, I guess."

"And now it's when it gets sad as fuck." Rosita pointed out.

"Yeah. And it was my fault, completely." she drank some gulps and had a deep breathe. "On the seventh day, we had ran out of money, that we had wasted on room service, alcohol and stupid stuff we bought at the mall. We had nowhere to go, I was unemployed and couldn't pay the rent, and I had only some cash for gasoline. So our "plan" was to head back to Atlanta, I would look for a decent job, which had to be waiting tables, and he... he didn't want to do anything in life outside his cabin in the forest. He didn't like the city, and I wasn't sure I wanted to bring a tramp to my apartment. Besides, he wouldn't look for a job, so I felt he would take profit of me. Maintaining a man was not an option. But we didn't want to argue, we had just started, he told me nice things in my ear... I didn't want to come back to real life. I loathed real life."

"I don't know if I want you to go ahead." Michonne said, speaking low.

"You started this, now you face the consequences. I woke up on Friday morning, around seven. He was sleeping, really drunk. He had been very sad the previous day. So I got up, I packed my shit and hid it under the bed so he would think I had left, and I locked myself in the bathroom."

"No." Carol said, closing her eyes.

"I slit my wrists with his razor blade." Lux said this almost in a whisper, looking at the floor.

"I wouldn't have forgiven you." Michonne felt like crying.

"I never forgave myself. Ever. I woke up three days later, at the hospital, all by myself. I was still in Atlantic City. They told me he had kicked down the door, shouting for me, he woke up every single person who was sleeping on that floor. He picked me when I was already unconscious, and I fell in a comma. He took me to the hospital, the hotel paid for the ambulance. He looked for my insurance card in my bag and found my blood type, and he told them. He signed the registration. I had little chance of surviving, and he waited until I was stable, then left.

I cried for a whole day and night, even hooked up on Valium, I couldn't stop. Then I recovered, they made sure I had no permanent damage, and I moved back to Atlanta on my car. I went under rehab and therapy for months, and started working as a waitress."

"And you never saw him again until he found you hidden in a crappy shop." Maggie said, in sorrow. "You might have thought you were hallucinating."

"I thought I was dead. Like, I left Atlanta with my roommate before it crumbled, and for two years, I wandered on the road, joined three groups of people which either split or died, and I ran in the woods chased by walkers and serial killers... across three states. And when I had given up for real, he found me, and he looked so big, so dirty, so serious, all dressed in black. I thought I was dead.

All the women remained silent for minutes. Then Michonne said:

"Now I understand it all. He was not like that, it was you. He was depressed because you broke his heart."

"I didn't break it, I tore it out from his chest. That's what I do." Lux stood up and started picking the empty bottles.

"I gotta go, it's late and I'm tired." Maggy grabbed Sasha and they left. "Good night."

"Good night Lux." Carol didn't look at her. "Thanks for letting me know, I always wondered what he was hiding."

"Good night. I would understand it if you didn't speak to me no long."

"I couldn't do that. He says he's a different man now, and I guess you are a different woman too." She faced her "Girl, this is the age of redemption. Use it and treat him good." And she left too.

Michonne went upstairs, Rosita went out and only Tara stayed in the living room.

"You are allowed to judge me too, don't worry."

"I wasn't about to, I just try to comprehend." she was helping her tidying up.

"You don't have to. People do shit. That's about it."

"I think I know what you did. You were desperate, and you couldn't deal with the relation you both would carry out together. You thought it was over."

"And I was a immature piece of shit unable to cope with failure.

"You were in love. And you had issues, of course, which you didn't face before because you were alone. I wouldn't blame you. Of course you hurt Daryl deep and I could stab you for that, but not for being human and making a mistake."

"Fuck, you are sweet."

They both remained silent, looking at the floor.

"Have you talked with him about all this?

Lux didn't answer. She started to remove the label of an empty bottle, scratching it with her nails.

"You should." Tara went on. "I think you should make it clear why you did it."

"I told him. I did, the first night we slept together. And I begged for his forgiveness. He forgave me yesterday."

"And have you forgiven him? Because he did something horrible too."

"I forgave him back at the hospital, and I've told him. But he won't talk about it. He says it still hurts too much."

"And how do you feel about your relation now? Is it the same, have you both changed so much?"

Lux looked at Tara with a fierce gaze, getting mad.

"Do you mean if I will do it again? If I'm still suicidal?"

"Yes, it's exactly what I'm asking." Tara didn't fear her, she mantained her position. "I told you, he's my friend and I care for him. He has saved my life a thousand times. And you know this is not just about love, it's his sanity. I don't wont you to hurt him again."

Lux smiled. "Well, you are indeed a better friend than I have ever been. Well, the thing is... I care for myself. And now I know there is more than a stinky shop to fight for. And... well, anyway, our life together is completely different from what it would be like in the old world. Now there are no jobs, no bills to pay, no difference between the city and the woods, there is jungle everywhere and we are both trained in it. And Merle is dead."

Tara frowned, confused. She had heard about Daryl's brother but she didn't know he could mean a threat like that.

"Well, that's good to hear." Tara picked her sweatshirt and helped her friend tidying up. "Can I make one last question?"

Lux crossed her arms, curious. "Try."

"What is it like... I mean, how does it feel dancing naked for a living? Because I can't imagine it, I don't even like men, so for me it would be disgusting. Like, having so many creeps drooling below me, saying gross things, I couldn't bear it."

Lux sighed "Well, it is gross, disgusting. But it's better than waiting tables at a restaurant, they give you better tips, you don't have to clean, and well... the feeling of having five hundred bucks inside your thong..." she cackled "Girl, I fucking miss that."

"Bahaha I should try some day."

They finished and looked eye to eye.

"It's fine, I got this, you can go." Lux held Tara tight, and gulped. "It's been a good night."

"Yeah, it's been nice to know you... better" she winked at her. "Good night, Lux."


	9. Chapter 9

**Based on season 6, with a new female character, using her POV. Warning for explicit language and violence, mentions of sexual abuse and suicide.**

The first times she went out again it was weird. She had already been in groups before, but these people were different. She felt safe, but uncomfortable at the same time, because she was in the need of coordinating. At least they were strong, clever and brave, so she didn't have to defend them unless they had troubles.

They usually sought for food, medicines and other supplies. Her usual companion were Sasha, Aaron, Abraham, and sometimes Rosita, but only if Sasha didn't go. He liked them although she noticed the tension between some of them. Daryl didn't patrol anymore, he was always looking for people with Rick or visiting their new associates in the other community.

She was surprised and proud of herself, because she managed to adapt to this new group quickly, and she always spoke up when she found anything, but usually the others didn't want it. She only kept a couple of things without telling, mostly junk that she thought could be nice to attach to clothes. All the food and needful things were immediately put together with the rest.

Lux didn't use to talk much, because the rest of the group didn't do it either, but it was fine for her. She had already talked too much, and strangely enough, she didn't feel uncomfortable sharing all morning or day with silent partners, because it wasn't personal, she had done nothing wrong. The girls never talked about her story with Daryl and that was fine.

* * *

That morning the heat was suffocating, she wouldn't get used to the wet weather in the South. They found a diner in the middle of nowhere, and although they wouldn't risk entering to the bar, for it was too risky and not valuable, they managed to enter the back storage room. They found some food in cans and cleaning supplies, soap, detergent and sponges. There were a lot of walkers inside the bar, but someone had locked it down and they didn't mean a problem. Regarding the back, they found some corpses that they had to eliminate in order to break into the storing room. Lux had learned to not bother killing the ones that didn't put her in risk, but she was fast and eager to kill the ones that did.

"You are not like the others." Paul Rovia had been following her movements all morning.

"What?" Lux was cleaning her knives.

"You are not like the other girls."

"Hell, I have not been told that since high school!" she laughed.

"No, I mean it, the others hate killing walkers. You like it. You enjoy it!"

"Dude, it's something you have to do to survive, you eat or get eaten. That's how it goes."

"Bullshit! It's not even disgusting for you, it's an RPG. I've seen testosterone pumping through your veins ha ha."

"So what? What difference does it make? I get stuff done, it doesn't matter how I feel."

She turned away to join the others.

"Hey, I didn't mean..." Jesus tried to redeem himself.

"What do you want?" she screamed, turning around "Huh? Do you want me to be like you? Do you want me to be like Carol? Like any other you prefer? Well, I'm sorry, this is what I have left, these are my remains. I just hope they come for any good."

"Listen, I wasn't judging you. I was pointing out that I think you don't suffer like the others for doing what you have to do. And that's cool."

"Right." She exhaled and calmed down. "Hey, watch! There is one behind you." she moved to the left and threw a knife towards the walker.

"Thanks! You have a nice pendant. What is it?" He approached her, his big blue eyes staring at her neck.

"It's stupid. I had kept a piece of paper with sketches on it, and the other day I found it stuck inside my old backpack. There was sticky tape in the office in Alexandria and I folded it in."

"It looks like a... skirt? Is it a skirt?"

"Yes... I used to design clothes as a hobby."

"That's great! Were you an artist or a retailer?"

"I was... a dancer." she kept silent for a while. "You don't look like Jesus, you look like Jared Leto. Jared Leto on pot."

"Well thank you, dancer."


	10. Chapter 10

**Based on season 6, with a new female character, using her POV. Warning for explicit language and violence, mentions of sexual abuse and suicide.**

"Tell me what you saw." Rick requested.

"I told Maggie, it looked like a generator." Lux answered "It was big, surrounded by a fence, it made noises at night. There were cars coming and going every other day. Some of them carried food from the back part of it. Later on, there was a fight inside a van. And you know, shooting,walkers,mess,transformed. But the fence kept intact. The generator stopped working like one week before you found me."

"Do you think it might work again?" Rick asked. "Do you think we can fix it?"

"No idea." she admitted, pouting her lips. "But if we bring it we could give it a try. We need one."

"How far was it?" Daryl asked.

"It was down the road that leads to the mine" she was indicating on the map. "Around two miles from my shop, next to the stream."

"Tell me the most likely points for walkers." Rick asked.

"This one, where they fought, if they haven't moved." she pointed "This side of the road, down the stream. And the ones next to it, for the noise. That would be it."

"I'm starting to like you climbing trees." Daryl said, smiling at her.

"Too bad I'm getting fat and they can't handle me any longer."

"And how would you do it?" Aaron asked.

"I don't know... I would take some time to dismantle it beforehand. I mean, we need longer than just to carry it here."

"How long?" Rick asked.

"I have never done that." she said, thoughtful "But I guess these things gotta be connected and attached. Anchored, whatever."

"I wanna try." Rick stated "And you are coming. Anyone else?"

"How many people do you think you need?" Michonne asked.

"No less than five, because we need back up, and a lot of time." Daryl replied.

"Put it eight to ten." Lux replied. "Two only dismantling, if we know how to do it, two looking for supplies, two for watching, plus backup, plus cars."

"You said it was abandoned." Michonne replied, suspicious.

"Yes, but that was around two months ago. We don't even know if it's still there. Maybe it has been conquered again, in which case I wouldn't even bother. It's like kidnapping an elephant. We need time, strength, speed and somewhat nobody should see it on the way here."

"The question is, it even worth it?" Aaron asked.

"Let's put it like this." Rick said "we go straight for the palsy, we break in and we check the generator. If it is so difficult to grab, we give up and turn around. Abraham,Glenn, Aaron, Heath, Tara, Rosita, Daryl, Stanley, Lux and me. In five hours."

"Let's go to bed." Daryl concluded, folding up the map.

* * *

"Daryl Dixon sounds like a name for a porn star." Lux joked, half asleep on the bed.

"What?" Daryl was running his fingers along her back and he stopped.

"I mean, is it actually your name? Daryl Dixon?"

"Yes! What is so wrong with that?"

"I don't know, it sounds weird!" she laughed. "Cool but weird. I bet you have a crappy middle name that would spoil it and you hide it. All guys do that. Like, Daryl Anthony or Daryl Joseph..."

"It's Damian." he replied, bothered. "Daryl Damian."

"Ha ha ha it just can't be true. Daryl Damian Dixon?"

"Yes..." he turned around to look at the ceiling.

"Hey, I love it! It's really cool, it goes D. D. D."

"Lux is not even a name!" he whined.

"No, it's not. My name is Lucienne, and I hate it. But you know, hookers always use battle names."

"Why that one?"

"Lux means "light" in Latin. A tattoo artist in Chicago came up with it. I liked it and that's it."

"Can I call you Lucy?"

She liked that tender gesture. Daryl wanted to use her actual name, not the one that she had adopted to dance naked in bars. But Lucy was the name her parents used to call her, and that was a part of her life she didn't want to bring back.

"No way." she replied. She kissed his lips and turned around to sleep

* * *

The next day they left at six in the morning, they headed to the generator, and they split. Lux climbed the tree that she had mentioned to check for walkers and living watchers.

"Rick... you hear me?" she was talking on the walkie. "There's five walkers behind the palsy, I guess the same guys I saw that day. One car, watch for it... and the other side is clean. No living mofos around."

"Copy that. Get down."

She climbed down a couple of branches, and the third one broke. Daryl caught her when she was about to fall.

"You're right, you gained weight."

"And you didn't trust me to arrive well."

"Nope, nobody should." he put her on the ground "You're going to break the palsy with Stanley and Glenn, Rick and me for the generator. Have a revolver."

"I should use my own guns from time to time."

"You're not doing that, face it."

"Blah."

They cut the fence and entered the enclosure, the door to the palsy was in front of them. Glenn cut the lock while the others watched.

"You should pick these fruits, Glenn." Lux said "I don't know their name, but someone told me about them and they kept me good for a while. They might have a lot of sugar and vitamins. I was thinking of Maggie."

"Oh, great! I've seen them near our community. Thank you."

"You're welcome. What's the matter, Stanley? You look bummed."

"I don't know, I'm getting tired of conquering things. Like, now we're getting this and we must protect it, and fight for it, it's always the same."

"Well, the other option is dying of starvation, or having my wife and my son sick." Glenn protested "Now, can you help me opening this?"

They saw a pile of boxes of different supplies, from the ground to the ceiling. Sugar, flour, dehydrated vegetables, canned meat, cereals... all for them. There was even a pack of clean clothes. Lux picked a gray bandana and put it on.

"Rick!" Glenn called Rick on the walkie "We opened the jackpot. How are you doing?"

"We managed to disconnect it, but we could use some help here. Good news it has wheels."

"Copy that."

They carried as much food as they could to the car, and helped the others dismantling the generator. It took an hour, and after that they still had to mount it to pull it away. They packed the rest of the food and rushed out of there, making sure nobody followed them.

"Glenn" Rick said. "I was thinking, you and Stanley can take the Corolla home, with as many packets as you can. You'll go faster if you don't wait for us."

"Are you sure?"

"Totally, we don't need you, and it's safer to account with one convoy arriving sooner and safe with food. We'll go slowly."

"Huh... good, let's go. See ya."

Glenn and Stanley left. Daryl approached Lux when she was finishing carrying food.

"Hey, you don't fit in the van anymore, with all those packets. Come with me."

"On your bike? For real? Do I fit there?"

"There is only one way to know."

Lux and Daryl left on the bike, behind the cars, for back up. Half an hour later, they had to diverse due to a group of walkers wandering in the middle of he road. They changed to a narrow path, and they had to speed down for the generator.

"Rick" Daryl called "we are waiting behind until there's place for us. We can't see you after that bend on the road."

"Copy."

They heard people yelling and noises from ahead.

"This is a trap." Lux muttered. "We're screwed."

Then, three shots.

"Get down" he whispered.

"No way, I'm not leaving you."

"Yes you are", he turned to her "get down, carry your bag and run."

"Then come with me."

"Listen, bimbo, when they see the bike they're gonna look for me and hunt me down, but they don't know you're here. Run into the trees, now!" he looked at her with a threatening glance, and hid a shout: "RUN!"

She did so, and disappeared before the gang reached the bike. She heard more shouts, more shots, and then, silence. She was scared, sad and began to panic. She pulled out her right knife, hid behind a tree, and then waited.

"I'm lone and lost, again." she muttered "Fuck. Fuck."

Lux remained quiet and still for what could be fifteen minutes and then heard walkers around her. She killed just the ones that meant a risk, because she couldn't afford leaving her safety point in case there were more psychos in the woods.

She heard a branch cracking behind and turned around, pulling her revolver to the stranger. It was Aaron.

"God, I'm so happy to see you!" She held him, shaking.

"Shh, calm down, it's fine." he whispered "I think they're good, but they had their guns stolen. I escaped because I got beaten and I hid. I'm proud of myself."

She checked his wounds and they started walking, parallel to the road.

"How many were they?" she asked.

"I counted fifteen, and I didn't see them all. By the way, there's no generator anymore. And I fear for the food."

"Shit. All this for nothing."

"Hey, cheer up. You look nice in that." he pointed at her bandana, and held her with his right arm.

"We gotta stop so I tap your wounds, you're bleeding."

"Okay. Anyway we don't know where to go, or where the others are."

They sat down in the bush and she healed him. After one hour, they spotted a couple of men talking. And there they were, the crossbow, the katana and some guns.

"Those assholes, I swear." Lux whispered, furious.

"Girl, we're not confronting them."

"OK, let's hide here forever then."

"We could wait until they leave." Aaron suggested.

"Or maybe they'll bring more friends to the party. They are waiting for someone."

"You're right. How many are they?"

"I'm counting two. Fuck, there's Daryl's bike there."

They both approached the guys who were guarding their friend's weapons and hid again.

"I can hear more coming."

"Me too. Can you shoot from here?" Aaron asked .

"Yeah, at least for distraction. You go for the bald one, I go for Rob Zombie."

Even before shooting, the one with the long hair stood up and saw Lux. He pulled a shotgun at her and she fired her gun twice. His friend grabbed Lux by her hair, Aaron pulled his knife and cut his throat. All his blood fell on Lux's top, red, warm and sticky.

They took a minute to check themselves and picked all the things the others had robbed, including the bike, down the hill to go back to the road, where they reckoned they still stood. They had to follow the way during one mile, but there they were, sitting down on the side, looking down upset. When they saw Lux and Aaron, they stood up, looking puzzled. All their weapons were back, and both Lux and Aaron were soaking wet in blood. She was carrying the motorbike.

"Yo. You're welcome." Lux said.

"The hell... are you good?" Daryl took her face in his hands.

"Things got rough... we had little time before the others came." Aaron tried to justify himself, but no one asked him questions.

"How many did you kill?" Tara asked, visibly tired.

"Two." Lux said, gasping for air.

"That makes it five overall." Michonne said. "We're screwed."

"They were going to kill us, but they received orders." Rosita said. "From Negan."

"And how did you killed them and the rest let you alive?" Aaron asked

"They didn't know... we caught the three that were in the backup, and that's the reason we keep the food. "Daryl was holding Lux, who was still shivering. "The others said we could keep it, but the second group didn't know about that or they didn't care, and attacked us to get it.

"Well, that's the scenario." Rick spoke for the first time. "The generator's gone, we're one hour away from home, they are still there waiting for us and they will follow us."

"There's another option." Aaron was trying to think clearly. "We have seen something in the woods, near the spot where the others were waiting, but on the other side of the creek, where we hid. It's an enclosure, full of walkers, at least thirty, no one was guarding it. We don't think it's theirs, or they know about it."

"So?" Tara was anxious.

"The problem now is heading straight home, right? There must be a way of distracting them... or destroying them." Aaron felt weird saying this, but he was sure of what he wanted.

"We can use the walkers on our behalf, because we know it and they don't." Lux was looking away. "I say we go into the forest, make sure they are following us, reach the enclosure, open it, bring hell and run. They will lose people, or else lose our track. Then we get down here again and leave."

"I'm all for that." Abraham replied.

"We could lose half an hour. We are not in the position." Rosita didn't like the idea.

"We could lose much more if they follow us." Rick replied. And we are already in trouble, they are surely taking avenge of this. But they still have to find us.

They did as planned, leaving Heath, Rosita and Tara on the road guarding the vehicles; they reached the enclosure soon. They waited near it until they saw some members of the gang were following them. Rick made a signal and they divided in two groups, to open the enclosure in as many points as they could.

"Stay behind me, don't lose me. Understand?" Daryl said. He didn't want to leave her behind again. Rick and Abraham were on the other side. After making sure the walkers were free, they rushed away downhill, on the right again. Lux tried to ignore the screams and shots. She was so tired that could barely hold her backpack, and Daryl had to help her getting on the bike again.

"You could go alone and enjoy a free ride." she joked

"I'm not looking away from you again, no way."

She held him tight and they left.

"Dude, you got a boner. You're a fucking perv."

"You knew what you signed for."

They arrived home and helped the others carry the little food the Saviours had left for them to their palsy, sharing knowing looks. Lux went home, but she didn't come inside, she waited for Daryl at the door.

"Hey, what are you doing here?" he came in some minutes later. "I thought you would be having a shower.

"I didn't want to have it alone." she replied, kissing him passionately.

"Wait..." he said, trying to breathe. "I have to go back, I have to fix a leak on a pipe. I just came here to grab my tools."

"Tell them you couldn't find them and you had to look for them." She took off his shirt, running her fingers through the buttons frantically. "There is time."

"You damn crazy doll." He took off her top with a single pull, and he saw her skin was stained with blood. That turned him on even more.

"Lock the door." She whispered, and she started licking his neck and biting it. "Someone could enter."

"Why? I thought we were going to the bathroom."

"Can you wait so long?" She took his hand and slid it down her jeans, pushing on the right place. "Because I can't." She kissed his chest, big and strong as a thunder.

He kissed her lips, her neck, her cleavage, and her breasts through the bra, before taking it off. She shivered and her heart started racing. He took off her jeans and lifted her by the waist to release her feet. He took some seconds to look at her, naked, ready, leaning back against the wall.

"You were not made by God."

"I was made by a couple of bastards." she stretched her arms "That's why I'm so good at this. Come here."

He caressed her thighs, pressing his big fingers against them. He checked that she was wet enough, while she pulled off his hard dick, looking at him, naughty.

"Are we doing it standing up? I'm so fat now, you know." She joked.

"I'm so glad you are fatter that I don't even care." he said, grabbing her butt.

She took off her underwear and he lifted her, her back leaning on the wall, soft due to the paper which covered it. He went inside her with a single thrust, but gently, feeling her opening slowly. She opened her mouth and held him by his shoulders, and hang herself from him; they started hearing people outside, talking, some of them calling for Daryl. But then the room was silent again and only heard themselves panting, moaning, muttering desperate words. Suddenly he stopped.

"Turn around." he said, leaving her feet gently on the floor.

"What?"

"I want you to come."

She did so, and took her hair off her back. She leaned both hands on the wall and saw his arm coming from behind to grab her pubis.

He pushed inside and she groaned. He kissed the back of her neck, and touched her gently, and they moved smoothly until she grabbed his hand to reach the right spot and pressed firmly. He bit her earlobe and pushed harder, until she started shaking and looked back at him. He held her tight until she reached a great orgasm, and he covered her mouth with his hand to hide the noise. She bit his finger. He came as late as he could and caressed her back, soaking wet.

"Okay, now we need a shower." she laughed.

He combed her hair with his fingers and kissed her shoulders.

"Tell me it will always be like this." she begged.

"I promise." He grabbed her by the waist and tourned her around, to kiss her softly. She took his hand and they went to the bathroom.

Daryl never fixed the pipe.


	11. Chapter 11

**Based on season 6, with a new female character, using her POV. Warning for explicit language and violence, mentions of sexual abuse and suicide.**

Lux was watching from her tower, and Abraham passed by.

"Hi, blond, how is it going?" he said, from the ground.

"Good." she answered.

They saw Morgan and greeted him.

"What's with Kung Fu guy?"

"Morgan? Ha ha ha I don't even know, I don't talk much to him, you know." Abraham replied. "We are commando, girl. Forget him."

"He's like so over himself, like we choose to kill, we don't have to. And the worst thing is that he lives in a community which, as far as I know, gets fucked in the ass from time to time precisely for trusting too much."

"I totally agree, _muneca_ , but the thing is I can't begin to understand why you talk like that."

"What?"

"Don't get me wrong, you are doing fine for having been a Mowgly all this time, but how can you judge him?"

"You just said you ignore him because he's weak."

"I didn't say so." Abraham crossed his arms, serious. "I said I am a soldier, therefore I have no other option. And so you are, since the moment when you showed us your kick. We already chose, he did too. He is the group of the politicians and philosophers, that's why he is thinking and talking all the time."

"But he could be a problem if we get attacked."

"No, because we're here. It's us who defend them. Sorry to break the news, but soldiers are the whores of people like him."

"You mean I don't get to discuss morals?" she whined.

"Would you even bother? Would you argue with him?" He approached her to not have to shout. "Do you want to hear that we are not human anymore, that there is nothing good in what we do? That we are not the good guys?Because that's about it. That's what he is going to say. And we know that would be a waste of time."

"No." she felt embarrassed.

"Good. 'Cause you still have two hours up there, then train civilians in long distance shooting, then train yourself in automatics, then go home and ride your man. That's your duty."

"Yes Sir."

* * *

The women were sitting on the grass, chatting or doing light chores. Lux was making herself a skirt out of remains of ruined jeans. Suddenly Enid started talking, after being silent all afternoon.

"Can I ask you a question?"

"No." Michonne replied, trying to clean a rotten flesh stain off a white shirt.

"Oh come on, of course." Carol said "What's on your mind, darling?"

"Maybe it's stupid, but I need to know... I've been feeling something inside me lately."

"It's your period, and your puberty, and you'll go stupid within a week." Lux said, holding a sowing nail in her mouth.

"I already got it years ago, and that was rude." Enid complained. "It's... I think I'm in love."

All of them screamed in awe and clapped.

"No, you're not, you're too young." Rosita replied. "You're just cheeky for Carl."

"I know, I know... but, if it happened, and only if it did... how would I know?" Enid insisted.

"You just know. Right when it begins and when it ends." Tara said, shady.

"I agree. It's something that shines bright inside you every time you see him, and for a while you feel he's perfect, even though you know he's not" Maggie was delighted to explain herself. "And you're excited to see him, and you'll go wherever he goes, and he's the one for you."

"Bitch, Glenn must be a hell of a nice guy!" Lux laughed.

"I guess it's something like that." Carol replied. "Of course it's different for everybody, but there is always a part of you that knows he has flaws, and other that ignores them." She winked at the girl.

"So it's like part of you goes dumb." Enid said.

"That's it, exactly." Lux stopped sowing and went on speaking. "To me, the strangest thing is letting go of myself. Feeling like I'm going down a roller coaster, and then I realize I'm not attached to the seat, but I don't care, because I rely on him, and it's OK. I don't mean dependency, or submission, that's bad, but trusting someone so much that you lose control. I feel like fighting beside him, for him, ruthlessly, not that I could die for him because I want to survive to stay together, yet I could kill for him... Then, when we come home, soaking wet in blood, sweat and dirt, I am willing to heal his wounds and look after him... Not talking, because there is nothing to talk... And I will have him watching me in my sleep, holding me tight, consoling me from my nightmares, caressing me and making me feel every thing's alright." She finished the skirt. "And then I know I'm in love and I'm screwed, so I hope it never happens to you. The end."

"I didn't know such nice things could come out of your mouth, _rubia_." Rosita replied, amazed.

"Just to balance the rest." she stood up, picked her rags and lit up a cigarette." Enid, seriously, cut it out. You like him and that's nice, but it will probably take you years to fall for someone."

"Wow, Daryl cut you deep, girl." Maggie winked at her.

"Well, it's him, right?" Lux replied "He hasn't changed, but it seems like you have him on an altar."

"I told you, he didn't even try..." Michonne said, bothered.

"I don't get it, honestly." Lux insisted "You are all so... like pretty, bad ass, smart, brave... I'm sure he liked some of you. It's just that... He's a shy jerk, or else I'm easy ha ha ha."

"Sometimes I think..." Maggie began, her voice cracking "it's sad to me to say this, but sometimes I think he liked my little sister. She passed away last year, before we came here."

Lux stood staring at her for a while, and then asked, blowing smoke.

"You sister's name was Beth?"

All of them remained quiet, in tension.

"Yes." Maggie answered, emotional.

Lux sighed hard. "I guess he liked her, yeah." her voice trembled. "Sometimes he calls for her in his dreams."

"Oh God." Tara said.

"Wow. This is... this is awkward... I... gotta get out." Lux muttered "See you." and she walked away.

"Okay, that's fucked up." Rosita said.

"I'll go grab her." Tara stood up and followed Lux.

"I knew it, but I never dared to say." Carol was hugging Maggie. "It's not his fault, she was beautiful and gifted, but he never thought he deserved her."

"Also he was like a million years older." Michonne was very sad. "Poor loser."

"I'm glad he has a nice memory of her, what can I say." Maggie murmured.

Tara found Lux one hour later, sitting on the backyard of Rick's house, her back against the wall.

"You're a terrible tracker." Lux said. She was half wasted, drinking from the bottle Abraham had found the previous week, hidden inside an office in a little town.

"You seem not to be aching to be found." Tara sat by her side. "can I mix this with water? I'm a terrible drinker too."

"It's Bourbon, you don't." Lux mumbled "I'm sorry, but I don't feel like talking."

"What is so bad? He thinks of other woman, he never touched her, everything 's the same."

"Tara, I was already pissed about it, I wanted to know who she was, who he was calling." She wiped out her mouth with her hand and yelled. "And now I know I'm jealous of a pretty little dead girl whom everybody misses and I never met! I'm pathetic!"

"It's not his fault..."

"No, I know it's not, he's flawless, he's perfect, he's a virgin who has sort of something with granny Carol too, and I never get to have platonic relations because I grope men all the time, I'm a nymphomaniac."

Tara glanced at her, disgusted "oh come on, don't pity yourself."

"What? I have to be fine with him remembering some others while sleeping with me?"

"Is it the first time it happens to you? Well, I'm sorry but this world is like that. You were right the other day, you are late, this group has been together forever and they've been through hell, and they have lost so many people that their hearts are full of missing friends. And Daryl has female friends, and you won't get over that."

"Oh well, I'm sorry! I knew he had friends, and all, but I wasn't expecting a fucking harem!"

Tara smacked her face like a whip. Then Lux looked down, ashamed.

"I had it coming." She finished the bottle and stood up. "I've had enough love chat for today."

"Wait! Don't go away!"

"What?"

"Don't do it! I'm talking!"

"And you want to say more?"

"Yes, it's just that you now want to be alone and you are blaming others, but the truth is that you can't bear being happy!"

"Oh no, I'm not gonna listen to you, leave me alone." Lux cried "I'm not happy, you understand?"

"Why? Because you get to live with your lover, the love of your life, who you found again against all odds? Because you share a bedroom, inside a safe place? Because you have friends who put up with you? Is that so bad?"

Lux didn't know what to say. She remained still, guilty.

"So he dreams of other girl, right." Tara continued "It sucks, I admit it. But do you know what she means to him? Do you know the story? They got lost and hid together and then she got kidnapped by a group of slavers. But I don't think she fucked her, because it's not like him."

"That's what I'm talking about, I never get to have something platonic, because I want it here and now."

"Wanna know the end? He found her, those bastards wanted to trade her for a boy who had escaped, and she got shot in front of him. She died in his arms. Are you jealous of that?"

"No..." she sighed "I just want him to be mine, but I know I don't deserve him."

"I didn't say that." She held her tight. "Come on, I thought you should know it, give him a break."

"And I appreciate it, but what you won't understand is that I'm a bad person."

"You're a bitch, but it doesn't get to more than that."

"Thanks. And why the fuck are you so angry?"

"Denise is leaving me." she looked away to hide her tears. "She hasn't told me, but I know. I can feel it."

"Shit! Why? You both look like one super gay super organism."

"Fuck you, ha ha." She took a breathe. "She never had it so hard, you know... she didn't want to hold hands, no kisses in public, the thing of me being in the infirmary all day so we wouldn't hang out... she won't get out of the closet."

"But... like everybody knows here." She leaned on the fence. "That's stupid."

"Yeah, but I don't know... She told me this morning that it would be good if I went to Hilltop with Maggie, because I know the medicines we have, and which are more valuable, and I said, "But are you coming with me? Because you know they always stay there for some days", and she said, "No, you don't need me!", and I was like, "Then go and tell Maggie or Rick, go write it on a piece of paper, they don't need me either", and she was like, "Hell, you're so lazy, it's just a couple of days and anyway there is nothing to do here!", and I said something stupid, I said "You're afraid of going out and that is why you want me to go!", and she told me, "You don't know me!", and started to cry, and I got angry and came to the lake with the girls."

"Fuck, it seems like she is hiding some shit there."

"I wish you told me I'm an idiot and she was just ranting away."

"I don't have a fucking clue. I wish it was that, but you know... I am not the most patient person ever. When someone makes me feel like crap and I don't know what they want, I do nothing about it. I don't stress them with questions, and I try not to over think because It's useless."

"And what do you do?"

She cackled and started to laugh "I wait a couple of days and slam them down on the bed, I shag them until they make up their minds."

"Ha ha ha you are a real nymphomaniac girl, you're fucked up completely." She kept quiet for a second. "And does it work?"

"Every time. I did it last week because Dork D was bugging me out, and then, after we had a bang in the kitchen, it turned out he had found a scratch on his bike but he wasn't sure if me or Rick did it, and of course, if it had been him he wouldn't ever tell him because he is his best friend."

"You are telling me that in the world after the Armageddon he is bothered by a scratch on his bike?"

"Yup."

"And who was it in the end?"

Lux winked at her "I did it one morning, I took it while he was patrolling with Sasha, but I told him it was Rick."

"You are a bad person. A smart bad person."


	12. Chapter 12

**Based on season 6, with a new female character, using her POV. Warning for explicit language and violence, mentions of sexual abuse and suicide.**

Lux was sitting at the church that night, on a bench at the back building was full of people, who were listening to Rick. Daryl was right opposite Rick, but she didn't want to get near him. That day had begun very early, when he woke her up yelling at her.

"Where is my lighter?!"

"The fuck is wrong with you, dude!" Lux groaned "Grab mine!"

"No, I want mine!" he was already getting dressed.

"Just grab mine, it's here!" she threw it to his head. "Why do you bother smoking at" she looked at her watch "five AM, Jesus Christ! Go the fuck to sleep!"

"I want my lighter, because you took it yesterday and never gave it back to me, and you always do that!" He threw a cushion towards her. "And just so you know, I've been up at this time all week, to do stuff, but your lazy ass won't notice!"

"WHATEVER."

"You should be up at six, then Michonne gets angry because you never get stuff done!" He pulled out the sheets to drag her out of bed. "Damn it, you seem to have been bitten by a sloth."

"And you seem to have been bitten by a bitch! Leave me alone!"

He slammed the door behind him.

She tried to sleep for a while, but she was so nervous and angry that she eventually got up and started looking for the lighter. She found it inside her backpack, put on her jeans and brought it to the kitchen, when he was having coffee.

"Here you go." she looked at him, ashamed "you were right, it was in my bag."

"I don't care anymore, you can have it."

"Are you fucking with me? You were dying for it a minute ago."

He didn't reply and started washing some plates.

"Oh well, you prefer to wash than to talk like an adult. Impressive." she grabbed a cookie out of the jar and began to munch it. "Are you going to go like this all day?"

"I'm sorry." He put down the glass he was washing. "It's just... I talked to Carol."

"I'm following you." Lux said, sarcastically "go on."

"She told me... I don't know, she is worried about you."

"She's worried about me." she repeated, frowning "and why is she worried about me, may I ask?"

"Do you want coffee?"

"Yes, put me some and then tell me why she is worried and why I should care."

"Maybe, just maybe, it's because you have been telling her your life and mine lately, and she thinks you are a trauma on legs."

"Perfect." she took a sip of coffee and grabbed another cookie. "So she is basically bringing to you and who knows how many others all the things I say, when I think she will keep them."

He turned to her, outraged. "She is my friend, the one I talk to the most, and it's nothing wrong that she tells me about the things you said because I'm your..."

"Go say it, moron."

"Whatever. You are acting selfish here. You have new friends, who truly care about you, you tell them your problems, they act with honesty, and you rant."

She stared at him, boiling. "What? So it's fine that I share something personal and she goes spreading it around?"

"She cares for you!"

"And what did you tell her, huh? Because your point here seems to be that I'm a whiner, bratty child seeking for attention, and then Carol, Patron Saint of the hopeless, gets worried for me... but you think there's nothing to worry about?"

"That's exactly what I told her."

"Oh well." She put down the mug so violently she almost crashed it against the counter top. "Then it's fine, everything is crystal clear. I just won't tell anyone my problems and that will do it."

"Don't you play the victim." he put both his hands on the kitchen table "You are rude, and you are not fair."

"So what? What have I done?" she looked at him eye to eye "Have I worried them for nothing, because everything is good for me?"

"I didn't say that, I just said that if you go opening your hear to the others, it is normal that they talk about you and try to help you."

"I don't need any help!"

"Oh well, I'm done." he said "You just want someone to listen to you without replying, and telling you you always do good, right?"

"What the fuck are you talking about?"

"Forget it." he left the kitchen and headed to the front door.

"No way, now go spit it out." She clenched her fists, furious. "What the hell is wrong with you? What have I done now?"

* * *

"These two, I swear. It's like living with drunk teenagers." Michonne grunted, trying to fall asleep again.

"Well, it's a tempestuous relation." Rick held her waist. "Not everybody is so romantic as we are, my dear."

"I mean it. I want to sleep calm, all night, in my own house." Michonne looked at him, concerned. "We are trying to bring up children here, and this is becoming... _ghetto_."

"That's racist, ha ha."

"I'm serious..." she was trying to ignore Rick, who was kissing her neck. "One more fight like this and they're out of here."

* * *

"Lux, don't get me wrong, but..." Daryl began again, calm. "Some people don't know how to deal with you. You have so much inside you, and you let it out, and then you turn aggressive because they pity you."

"Can you give me an example?"

"Everyone saw you arguing with Tara the other day. And you drop bombs about our past, which by the way I've been hiding out, and you won't respect that, and you leave everybody upset. And of course they feel sorry for you, but what can they do, huh? Do you feel uncomfortable? Because they do, all the damn time."

"Well, I wasn't expecting this." She looked down, arms crossed.

"I didn't want to upset you, it's just..."

"Dude, don't stop now. You seem to have been hiding it away." she looked really sad. "I prefer you telling me now, don't keep it no more."

"I don't know how to deal with some things."

"What things?" she perfectly knew which ones.

"Well I..." he sat opposite her, on the back of the couch. "Sometimes I feel a bit uncomfortable thinking about what happened to you, and I..."

"Dude, I'm not going to talk about it, I told you."

He took a good half a minute to choose his words. "I don't understand you, I don't get to know how you feel. And... there is something weird about it."

"Weird? Weird like what?"

He exhaled long and looked at her frightened eyes. "I don't get how you recovered so soon."

She froze, and remained quiet.

"I don't know how to function with you." he explained.

"I thought we were fine, banging like monkeys." she lowered her voice. Her eyes glanced mad, suddenly looking more green than blue, like a shallow pond stuffed with weeds.

"Because I wanted it, and I knew you were right with it, but then... you have those nightmares, and I console you, and I don't get to figure out why you decided to go back to normal."

She sighed. "There is no "normal", Daryl. I'm not like before, I will never be. I just sort of got better, and then... it took me a while to make sure I wanted it again... but because it was you." she felt embarrassed, degraded. "I didn't know you thought it was wrong."

"I didn't think it was wrong, I... think you made a fast move there, you were not ready."

"Are you talking about me or about you here?"

"It was weird. It was weird and fucked up."

"I didn't see you hesitate, motherfucker." she shed tears off her eyes "I didn't see you stutter, I saw you fine inside me, and now you tell me you felt awkward?!" she pushed him against the wall. "You're a fucking bastard! All this time you were screwing the shit out of me and judging me at the same time!"

"You're putting things in my mouth..." Daryl tried to remain calm. "You're freaking out and I get it."

"No! Don't you dare to tell me I'm exaggerating because I'm not! This is fucking disgusting!"

He put is hand on her shoulder. "I haven't said that."

"You think it was too soon. But you were all comfortable about it."

"I got drunk the first three times because I didn't know how to touch you! And even then I felt guilty after."

"You felt guilty." She took his hand off her. "Don't touch me. You did it because I forced you, or what?"

He didn't reply. He had his hands in his pockets and didn't dare to look at her.

"Well, you know what?" she exploded "I liked it! I loved it! I had been waiting to put myself together and go to you because I missed you! Yes, that's the truth, you were the only one I wanted! Even before you found me again, I was thinking of you all the time! And now you tell me that you felt it was too soon?"

"I do. I know you have issues, but maybe you don't know how to deal with yourself and that's part of the problem. And you blame others, and you let yourself go, and then we are the ones you punch."

"But I didn't do it with you! I felt good about this! Shit, I longed for you every night since I arrived! I would never complain about anything, you are sweet and caring!"

"But I don't want that!" he shouted "That is not what we used to do! And I feel like doing things that I know you don't want, and even though I do it smoothly I don't know if I'm doing wrong and then everything seems so messed up and you act like no big deal, and then you wake up in panic in the middle of the night!"

She was weeping, trying to breathe. He tried to hold her, but she rejected him and went back to the bedroom. She started packing her bag.

"Don't go." he was talking to her leaning on the door frame. "I know you're upset but please, don't leave like this."

She sat on the bed and replied, quietly:

"I can't stay here, I can't sleep with you." she said, her voice sounded raspy "I don't know how I feel right now, my head is going to explode, but I can't come back here tonight."

"I'll sleep on the couch, I always come late and leave before you in the morning." Daryl suggested. "You won't see me if you don't want to."

"Okay."

"Okay. I gotta go now... are you fine?"

"I'm torn apart, but I won't tell anyone." he groaned.

He managed not to reply something harsh to that reproof. "Good. I'll see you."

"Bye."

She waited until him and the rest of the people in the house left, and Carl got up to look after Judith. She fixed them something for breakfast and drank half a liter of water in order to breathe. Then she rushed to the armory, picked her rifle and went to her tower to watch. She arrived on time to replace Aaron.

"Morning!" he looked at her, worried. "Gosh, you don't look fine, girl."

"I had a hell of a sunrise, but I'll get through." She checked her weapon and her walkie, and put on her black cap, backwards. "Have a nice day."

He glanced at her, feeling sorry, but he didn't say a word.

Half an hour later, she heard her walkie.

"Lux, are you there? It's me, Rick."

She swallowed saliva and replied. "Hi."

"Hi. I... are you good?"

She shut her eyes closed in anger and shame, and answered. "Yes, I'm fine."

"Okay. There will be a meeting tonight at eight, at the church. Please come, it's important. I've changed your shift at the training camp, you finish at seven today."

"Copy that. Bye."

"Bye."

* * *

"We are facing a crises right now." Rick began. "We must be grateful for having such a good community, we work very well together, however we're going short on food. This means we have chances, but we must make choices, and this has been a tough one. As some of you know, people in Hilltop are no longer in the position of dealing with us, because they have lost a lot of people and they are actual slaves right now. They can't talk with Negan anymore because there is nothing to talk, they have nothing to offer."

"And what's the good news?" Abraham asked, ironically.

"There's none." Rick replied. "I'm going talk to them the day after tomorrow."

"It's too big of a risk, and maybe for nothing." Sasha said.

"We are not discussing that." Rick went on "We have been talking all day and I already told you, this is the only thing we can do. We must make a move, a clever one. There is a meeting point already set, in the open air, where I will be safe, and able to talk."

"That's the most dangerous, and less brave decision." Daryl said, without looking at him.

"But the most clever." Rick replied "We don't know how many they are, that's why there will be no assault. We would go suicidal, and we need many more people to attack them than for watching a meeting. This way we will keep many members here to defend the community in case something goes wrong."

"I don't like it, but I agree." Maggie said, holding Glenn's hand. "The priority is staying safe here inside, and attacking them is crazy. There could be hundreds of them waiting for revenge."

"So, here's the thing:" Rick went on "I need a backup. I'll go myself in one car, along with Morgan, to talk."

"Morgan? You're putting me in." Rosita said, quietly, sitting beside Lux, who didn't open her mouth all during the meeting."

"And I need a few people to back me up, close, so they can watch for me." Rick insisted "Two in the same car and two more hidden."

"And what if the others find us?" Tara asked "if this is a war, and we are spies, we won't be prisoners."

"That's the thing, they won't find you. You won't let them." Rick explained "So, we've talked for a while, and it's Aaron and Rosita coming with me in the car. And then, in the other, that will have to be abandoned long before arriving, I'm counting with Daryl, Abraham... and there are two more places to cover."

"I'm in." Sasha said.

"Are you sure? I bet they prefer redheads." Abraham said, blowing a kiss to her.

"I'm about to throw up." Rosita said, behind them. Lux still didn't talk.

"Good, then there is only one place left." Rick stated.

Everybody waited for a while. There were coughs, the sound of wooden benches cracking, and a tense set of gazing around. Half of the people were expecting Lux to speak but she didn't do it.

"I'm sorry, I... I don't feel ready." Tara admitted, shyly "It's too dangerous and I would be no help."

"It's fine, thank you, thanks for speaking up." Rick replied, pulling a kind smile.

"What about Michonne?" Aaron asked.

"She offered to come on the first car, but I don't want her to." Rick said. "They might know about our relationship and God knows what they would do to her in order to put pressure on me. Let alone if they find her in the bush."

"I'll take the last place." Stanley said. "I'm bored here anyway ha ha."

"Thanks, then it is official." Rick clapped once, glad "We're leaving in 30 hours, so sleep tight. Thanks for coming everyone."

* * *

"Why didn't you volunteer?" Rosita asked Lux, who was waiting for the rest to leave the church before even standing up. "You used to be brave and all."

"I don't feel like."

"Is it because you argued with Daryl?" Rosita replied. "You're a bit of an asshole."

"Yes, I am."

"Oh, come on. I'm sorry. He acted wrong, but hey, he's not exactly a feminist, and you are hard to put up with."

She stared at the bench before them for a while, before asking. "Is there anybody in this damn hole who doesn't sneak in my panties looking for information? Like, can I have a domestic fight without you knowing?"

"Daryl didn't tell anyone. It was Michonne."

"For God's sake, go put me on a steak and burn me up, I'm fed up with you all."

"Girl..."

"No, you know what?" Lux stood up "It's true, I'm a biblical bitch, a Jezebel on the loose, you should all fear me. Good night, and good luck tomorrow."

She went out, leaving Rosita alone in the church.

The day after passed by the same. She got up after the others, did her shift, and barely spoke to anyone at all. She had lunch at the prairie with Tara, who didn't talk either, worked hard at the garden, talked to Sasha about tower 1, which seemed rotten in some parts, then had dinner early with Carl and Judith, and went to sleep.

She just saw Daryl at home at midday, for a minute, after coming back from their tasks, to have a cigar and a glass of water, like they used to do.

"Hey" Daryl said, afraid to look at her in the eye.

"Hey." she looked for his gaze and didn't find it. "How are you?"

"I'm good."

They looked at the floor.

"Listen" Lux began "I... I'm not mad at you anymore, I'm just sad and tired. Don't mind me."

"Okay. It's good to hear that. I... I'm glad you are not coming tomorrow, it can go bad."

"Thanks. I didn't feel like. What time are you living?"

"Seven." Daryl said, rising his head.

Their eyes met for a second and they gasped simultaneously.

"Be careful, please" she begged.

"So..." he cleared his throat. "Are we good?"

"Yeah, I just need a couple of days, and we'll see."

"Okay. Have a nice day, blond."

"You too."

* * *

She went to sleep at 12 PM and she couldn't sleep at all. The previous night had been easier, because she was exhausted, and sad, but this night she was thinking about what happened, non stop. She wanted lo let time pass, but she felt in the need of setting things straight and making up his mind about Daryl as soon as possible, because she loved him fondly, they lived together, everyone around was asking questions... and he could die at any minute. That was the worst thing of all. Having to make a decision right away in case she lost him. Her head was pumping blood like a hammer.

She was also jealous, and afraid he would cheat on her with another woman. She didn't know why, but suddenly she didn't trust him. And she felt bad for it.

She fell asleep around three in the morning, and woke up to screams and shouts and five. There was a huge noise of wood cracking, and everybody in the house rushed out. She did too, and she saw Tower 1 crumbling down, and Sasha fighting to stay safe, among the pile of sticks. Lux called for Denise, and went back to help the others. Sasha was sitting down, back against a tree, crying in pain, and Abraham and Rick were checking her. She had her ankle sprained, at least in two points. All the people started looking at Lux.

"You gotta be kidding me..." she muttered, anxious. "You gotta be fucking kidding me..."

Denise helped them carry Sasha to the infirmary, and Rick approached Lux.

"Well. I'm sorry." he said "See you at seven."

"Nope." she had her arms crossed, wearing a worn out dress that she used to sleep, and rocking a big tattoo of a pink flower on her left leg. "I'm not. Ask another. And don't you think this is about Daryl, I'm not in the mood, nor in the condition. I'm gonna fuck up."

"Listen, we need you." Rick replied "It's not exactly up to you. I know you don't trust yourself and you're afraid of putting the mission at risk, but let me tell you, you're good at watching and sneaking. Hell, I can't hear you coming half of the times, you always freak me out." He winked.

"Ha ha ha." she laughed for the first time in three days. "Sounds like me."

"Really, please, come with us. I don't care... well, you'll see what you do about him, but please come." he was completely exhausted and fed up, but kept sporting that halfway smile she liked so much. He was hot, in an annoying boss kind of way. "Go now to the kitchen and I'll explain you. Wait there for me, I'll talk to Sasha now."

"Fine, see you there." she farewelled and left, but then she turned around to ask. "Can I carry the eagle?" she mimicked a praying stance.

"Whatever, girl." He laughed.


	13. Chapter 13

**Based on season 6, with a new female character, using her POV. Warning for explicit language and violence, mentions of sexual abuse and suicide.**

Lux arrived at the entrance gate before seven. There were only Rosita and Aaron there.

" _Buen día_ , how are you?" Rosita asked, pouting her lips "why are you here so early?"

"There had to be one day." she replied, quietly, all dressed in black, jeans, cap, boots and a Rammstein shirt.

Daryl arrived after some minutes and greeted them all, and she glanced at him, shyly.

"Well, we've revised the plan a hundred times, but just in case." Rick began, when he arrived some minutes later. "We drive together until the crossroad at the burnt mill, we split and you drive west until the 480 milestone. You leave the car at the barn and head into the woods, straight, and then east to reach us at a good distance. Questions?"

"You can't speak on the radio all day, except with your bodyguards, right?" Abraham asked.

"No, not all." Rick replied. "You can only watch me and wait, and hope for the best or else take them down."

"And Rock n' Roll." Abraham bit his cigar.

"I am here to avoid that. You're not helping." Morgan complained, without looking at him.

"Okay Abraham, let's go the misfit car." Lux said, grabbing his arm.

"Daryl, come with us, we have to talk. We'll change seats later." Rick said "Aaron, you go with them."

Lux kept silent, but she didn't like it.

The trip was shorter than expected, or so they thought. Abraham played some CDs he had, and the atmosphere was quite relaxed. Then Lux asked him for permission and changed to one he had brought with her. The only one she found that kept working.

"Oh fuck, _Turbonegro_. This is the worst!" Stanley yelled.

"Don't you like it?" Lux asked.

"It's just... "he replied. "It reminds me of my prom..."

"Oh my god you went to prom?" Lux asked, amazed

"You didn't?" Aaron asked.

"Nope, I dropped out just before." she replied. "Tell us about it, please. Did you hit second base?"

He didn't reply.

"Oh god, you did!" she yelled. "You naughty motherfucker! What was her name? Becky?"

"Shut up." he seemed angry, the rest were amused.

"I bet she was Becky. Or Stacey. Lindsey?"

"Her name was Susie, and please cut it out."

"Okay." she remained silent for two minutes, and then moaned "Oh Susie, you're so special..."

All of them burst in laughter, including Stanley.

They arrived at the point of splitting.

"This is going to be boring." Abraham complained, inside the car. "Hey, are you good?"

"Yeah, whatever." Lux answered.

"Hey, don't get me wrong, it's up to you, but there are two kinds of men in this world: the ones like us and the ones that don't make it alive." Abraham commented, trying to be kind. "I'm sorry."

"That's a rough way to put it." Lux said, looking through the cracked window. Daryl knocked it and opened the door.

"Out."

"Er... yeah, you're welcome, I don't even know." and she muttered to herself "Jerk."

She sat behind him and the rest of the ride was very tense.

They reached a narrow road which had been almost cut by the broken branches of big trees, and stopped. They took a while to hide the car and picked their bags.

"Hey." Daryl said, behind Lux. "Don't lose my shadow."

She turned around, surprised.

"I prefer you coming after me, that's all."

She didn't want to argue and, in the end, he made her feel safer than any other man.

They started surrounding the hill towards the meeting point, thinking that the survivors would prefer the top to watch. They didn't find anybody on their way. Then, they went into the forest, further away, but choosing a good point to watch, and sat down, hiding among the vegetation. They waited for a while, observing Rick and the others. Everything went fine.

Suddenly, Lux heard noises behind her. They were walkers. She told Daryl because she didn't know what to do.

"Fuck. Don't move." he killed a couple of them and told the other people who were around.

"We have to move, there are a ton." Stanley said, frustrated.

"We'll go to one side and then come back, there's not much else to do." Abraham said.

"Stick to me, for God's sake." Daryl insisted, bending down and moving forward, looking at Lux.

It happened quickly. One walker tripped and felt over Abraham, who made a huge effort not to get bitten. He couldn't shoot his rifle not to be heard far away, so he could only fight with his knife. Stanley helped him and they moved backwards. Meanwhile, Lux and Daryl kept running in the opposite direction, chased by two more corpses. They reached a safe point and Lux fought back, killing them both in two moves.

"That's my girl." Daryl whispered. She smiled but didn't look at him.

"What do we do now?" she asked.

"Well, we're screwed anyway. I prefer not to use the radio, unless we don't find them in a long while. Can you see Rick?"

"No, but I see Aaron. Bless tall guys." she was using his binoculars.

They waited for one hour; they were worried and nervous, despite not hearing any sound, because they themselves knew how to slaughter a man without making a noise. They tried to go back to the point where they lost the others, but they only saw walkers coming downhill, and that wasn't an option.

"Baby, we're stuck." Daryl admitted "I'm sorry."

"Blame Sasha laying on the couch."

Minutes passed, and they didn't say a word, but Lux felt good beside him. She was still upset, but part of her was able to admit he was right in a way.

"Are you going to keep quiet all day?" Daryl asked.

"What do you want me to say?" Lux answered, but not angry, just curious.

"I don't know. It's weird to be with you so silent."

"Ha ha, you're fun. I don't know, I'm tired of fucking up."

"It's just to make sure... I don't know."

They went silent for another while.

"I guess I give in. I might have freaked out a bit." she admitted.

"Well, I admit being a complete jerk. But I had to let it out."

"I know. I know it's weird. I know it was soon and I let myself go."

He took her hand and she didn't reject him.

"I guess you're not ready, and you may never be," Daryl began "but if you want to tell me anything about what happened, just come. I mean it. I can't assure you I'll be able to take care of it, but I'll help."

"Thank you." she replied "I never told you, but I know it must be hard for you too."

"It is. But I was ashamed to tell you."

She stroke his hand strongly.

"This is how it goes." she said, in sorrow "I had read about it and I had heard girls who suffered the same, and all of them say that the worst thing is having the ones who did it between you and your partner, forever. But I guess I didn't want to believe it."

He held her tight, still watching.

"There's another thing, another stupid thing that bugs me out." he said, his voice cracking. "I wish I had done something. I wish I had killed them."

"I know. I always knew. From the moment I told you, when you found me at the shop." she calmed down, slowly. "Do you want to know how I did it? It might make you feel better. It helps me when I'm sad."

He replied, curious. "Yes please."

She gasped and began.

"I was in a big group, I had been with them for some months, but then one night the walkers broke in the camp, the group split and some of us ran away together. They were my friends, I trusted them. We hid in a barn. And then, the morning after, before I got up, they did it." she took a breathe "I won't tell you what it was like, I don't want to. I don't know how long it lasted, I just don't, part of it is blank, fortunately. And please don't ever ask me why I didn't stop them because I couldn't."

"The thing is, I didn't move all day. I couldn't. I just let time pass. I wanted to wash, I wanted to cry, I wanted to bash their heads on a rock, but I didn't do anything. They acted like no big deal, they threw me a stinky blanket and left me there, watching sometimes. But they didn't leave me alone. That's one thing that gets me wondering, what the hell they thought they were going to do."

"Well, I actually spent all day thinking about how to do it, because I knew I would. They were three: the ones who raped me, and there was another guy who kept watching. I don't know if he was enjoying it or vigilant in case someone came, but he did nothing. I wanted to kill them three."

She stopped and gasped for air.

"The only good thing about that small group which split from the big one, was that we had a ton of meds. Now that I think about it, they probably were thinking of drugging me to rape me more times, but they came fucking useful. I hooked them up on Benadryl. I poisoned their water bottles. They were watching all the time, but I asked for water at night, and I put the meds in the bottle. It was strangely easy. As I saw how they were placed while sleeping, I decided I wouldn't kill them three. The ones who did it slept on the sides of the other one. I waited until they knocked out, and then waited one hour more. And then, I tied them for the feet to one another, I cut the throats of the rapists and left the third one. So, when the others died and transformed, they ate him alive."

"And then you ran."

"I couldn't run. I watched. And then I stabbed them with Bobby's knives. Bobby was one of the rapists. These knives that I always carry were his. He had taught me to throw them, and that has saved my life a thousand times, ironically. You never know what you can take from some people."

Daryl didn't reply, just started caressing her hair gently. They kept quiet for some time.

Then, suddenly, Lux muttered:

"There's a fucker right in front of me."

Daryl reacted and he saw a big man, bald, carrying an assault rifle, back to them.

"Okay honey, don't make a move." he whispered.

They waited, and they heard fire breaking on their right. Just as the man in front of them turned around, another one appeared in front of Daryl and pulled a shotgun towards him. He stood still and right at that moment the one who was ahead trapped Lux and turned her back, and started cutting her neck. Daryl tried to defend her and got shot on his arm, not full, but he shouted. Lux managed to flee and stab the man who was attacking her. The other one ran away and they both had to run forward, into the woods, far away from their position. There were walkers, and screams, and shots everywhere, and Lux was so scared that her only thought was to follow her lover no matter how.

They reached a clear point, among some trees. They caught some breathe and Lux rushed to her backpack.

"Show off." she said, kneeling and looking for bands.

"It's nothing." he lied, breathing heavily.

"Bullshit, you're going paler than my dead mother. Show off your wound."

He put away the hand he was using to tap it and Lux saw it: it was a huge scratch, dark, bleeding quite a lot. She washed it as well as she could and tapped it.

"OK, it's dirty as fuck, but you won't leave the place for now." She opened a new disposable syringe and filled it up with antibiotics. "Hold your breathe." She injected them quickly.

"Thanks... phew, you didn't have to do it so rough." he drank some water.

"Hey, I didn't know I was following a pussy." she mocked him.

He cleaned the cut in her neck and put some stitch bands.

"Good." he started. "Damage control now. We are trapped in the woods, we can't see anyone, we can't use the radio in case they are being watched."

"Fine. Life's good."

"I'll go track the motherfucker."

"No way, don't look for them." she replied "We are supposed to survive."

"We aren't waiting here forever again. Not now. We are not watching anymore. Stand up and come behind me, watch my back."

He started tracking, using what he had seen: he was lame on the right leg. Soon after he found his track and began following it.

"Now keep watching."

There he was. The man was sitting leaning on a rock, peeling fruit. He was quite fat, and old; it was clear that he had only survived protected by others.

Daryl pulled his crossbow at him.

"Hi. If I were you I wouldn't bother to move. The shot you gave me stings like a bitch. Put the knife and whatever you have down, now."

He didn't. The man tried to get his shotgun again and an arrow hit his arm.

"It's right, kill me." he mumbled "I'm tired, I want it to end."

"We're not in the mood, are we?" Lux asked.

"No, we ain't." he didn't stop threatening the man. "Tie him down honey, hands and feet."

"So, am I your prisoner?"

"Well, it depends on many things. First, how many of you are here?" Daryl asked, pulling the arrow out of him and sitting down opposite him.

"I won't tell you shit, forget it." the man replied "You might as well kill me now, because I won't say anything."

"Whoa dude, you know nothing." Lux replied. "Killing you is the prize, if you are good."

Daryl stared at her in disbelief. He got next to her and whispered in her ear.

"We are not torturing a man. Ever."

"We don't have to." she pulled her right knife. "I promise you this blade won't touch him. He just has to believe it will."

He looked at the man sitting, tied down opposite them, and waited.

"I'm not doing anything you don't want me to. At all." she muttered, looking him in the eye. "I promise."

"Okay." Daryl said "Let me take the lead."

"As you wish."

They moved back to the prisoner and Daryl asked again:

"How many of you are in the woods and where?"

"Fuck you."

"Wrong answer." he looked at her for help.

"This is how I see it." she started, her knife swinging in her hands. "We are alone, hidden among the trees, and no one can see us. We are actually waiting for our friends, and we don't know when they will be coming. We don't know where yours are. You do. You know how long we have. So" she approached him, concealing her disgust in a rigid smile, and made a line on the ground with the sharp blade. "It's up to you. The longer you take to tell us what we want, the long you'll suffer. And the more pissed we will get, specially with my boyfriend here, bleeding and getting sick for your fault."

Daryl felt awkward, but he didn't say anything.

"We are everywhere." the man stated "We are the air around you."

"Poetic." she replied "But bullshit. You are isolated here. If there were motherfuckers here close, you would have already called for help. But there are none, and you know that if you scream we'll stab you before they come."

The man freaked out and rushed to flee from his ropes. She was right, he was alone.

"Score one." she said "Now you move. How many and where."

"Twenty, probably less due to the shots."

"Who started?" Daryl asked. "Is Rick alive?"

"Yes, he is." the man said "he is the speaker and the mediator."

"So, are we still talking?" Lux asked, holding he knife by the blade. "Is everything just normal out there?"

"Yes. We heard noises in the forest and we shot you, but everything' s okay now. Your friends are alive."

"Good. Anything else?" Lux turned her head away looking for something.

"No, nothing at all." The man assured "No traps, no threats. Just go home."

"I'll tell you what." Lux grabbed a walker who had his legs trapped and brought it to where she was sitting. "I don't believe you. Nothing personal, but you lie like a teenager." she stabbed the walker in the head. "You know a lot of stuff, you know their intentions. And you know why this place has been completely silent for hours."

Daryl kept observing from a distance, his eyes stuck on the knife and her eyes.

"Your friends are heading back, but I guess they'll wait for you."

"Have they come to an agreement with your group?" Daryl asked.

"Yes. No, I mean, they were negotiating when the fire broke and they will continue other day, and in the meantime, you are good, and safe, all of you can protect your community and we are not doing anything."

"What could you do?" he asked.

"Nothing, just that you can be sure that we won't attack you, so you can invest all your men in watching from the towers" the man concluded.

Daryl noticed his lies, pulled the knife from Lux's left leg, and put it in his throat. "What are you talking about? Why should we be all of us inside Alexandria? And how do you know about the towers?"

"Hey, don't spoil my toy, _macho_." Lux warned. "sit back, you're scaring him."

"I... I don't know, it's just what you do, right? You protect your place so it is safe and warm. "he licked his dry lips. "just like her pussy ."

Daryl punched him and his nose burst bleeding. Lux held his head back and wiped out the blood. "We are fucking up here. I'm sorry, dude, but your mouth is full of shit." she turned to Daryl "Just look and stand still." She turned again to the man."Here, have some water."

"What are you preparing for us? Huh?" Daryl groaned "Party and fireworks?"

"Nothing, I swear, we will respect Rick if you behave good." he gasped. "We want one third of what you have."

"Rick said you wanted a good half!" Daryl replied, furious. "One of you is lying!"

"I... I don't know, the might not want me to know the proper information." the man said.

"There is something more that is weird in there." she said this drawing circles in the air over the walker's trunk with her knife. "You insist that Rick is safe, but you don't talk about the rest. Are we in trouble?"

"I swear it's not a trick, we won't touch the community if you do as planned." the man assured.

"You know what? I'm tired, I'm sick of your lies and your stench. "she stabbed the walker's abdomen. "What are you planning, you rotten piece of ass?"

Daryl didn't move, part of him was expecting that.

"Shit, don't do that, I'm going to throw up. "the man stuttered, shaking and sweating. "I don't know, there were rumors. They..."

Lux twisted her knife inside the corpse, pushing it deeper. "WHAT?"

"They call you the Magnificent Seven, alright?" he mumbled, getting sick. "They say there are seven of you that will suffer for killing some of us the other day, when we took the generator. It was our generator and you tried to steal it. We always knew where you live. We've been watching you."

"Fuck. Fuck!" Daryl stood up and kicked his big tum. "What are you gonna do?" He kicked him again.

"Oh! Stop it!" he cried. "They will hunt you down." he curled up. "They will attack the community but just to get you and kill you. They will respect the others. But you will pay."

Lux was shocked. She abandoned the knife and started striking her hair. "Dammit."

"Do we have any chance?" Daryl asked, making a huge effort not to stab him himself. "When will you do it? Can we hide somewhere?" he prepared to kick his head.

"Hit me, whatever." the man said. "Bash my head before Negan finds me."

Lux reacted and pull her knife from the corpse. "Fine, I'm done. We are all tired. We are murdering you right away. But please." she pointed at his face with the dirty, dripping knife. "say what you know, everything, or we will take our fucking long time to do it."

"You won't do shit, you crazy bitch," the man dared to say "because he is a rude bastard but has some principles, he will hold you back."

"First, I'm not crazy, I'm just evil." She put the knife down on the ground. "There's a difference: I know what I'm doing. And second..."

She move forward until her mouth almost touched his ear, and whispered something Daryl didn't hear. She smiled, looking at her man, and sat back, content.

"Five days." the man gulped "We will attack you in five day's time, no less." The fat man was shivering. "And you can escape North West, there's another gang we don't mess with, and they might not notice you if you move fast."

"Thank you." Daryl pulled his crossbow at him "Anything else before I shut your eyes?"

"See you in Hell, very very soon. We are all the same."

"No, we are not." Daryl replied "You're very ugly."

* * *

"They should be here already." Aaron was very concerned, waiting inside the car. "The Saviours said they were alive and free."

"And they are." Abraham replied. "Calm your tits. Look, if there is someone on Earth who can get lost in the woods, beaten, shot, and fucked in his sweet little asshole, and come back like no big deal, that's Daryl. And his girl is sort of the same. Give them some credit."

* * *

Daryl was sitting on the ground, leaning on the tree. She was leaning on him, smoking, sharing the cigar with him.

"Are you hungry?" she asked.

"No, and if I were, you would have spoiled it doing what you did, girl.

"I'm sorry. " she grabbed a cookie from her backpack. "I never had that problem."

"I'll regret asking this, but" he started drinking water and passed her the bottle "what the hell did you tell him so he crapped his pants?"

"You're not gonna like it." She giggled and looked at him in the eye. "I told him you're a complete pervert, and you like watching while I cut faces. It turns you on."

"You are insane."

"But efficient." she replied, pointing at his nose with her finger.

"I'll give you that." He stroke her knee.

There were noises in the bushes and Lux put down the cookie. She pulled her eagle, but it happened to be Abraham.

"I'll always say it, that dick is too big for you." he mocked

"Don't insult him, he's wounded." Lux replied.

"What the fuck happened here?" Abraham was staring at the man, with an arrow in the middle of his face, and the walker gutted out beside them.

"Morning got busy." Daryl replied.

"Which car are you going?" Lux asked, tired.

"Rick's." Daryl answered "And you are coming with me, I'm not losing your sight."

They sat together on the back seat. The others were talking outside. "Listen, I'll tell Rick, okay? You just go to the infirmary, and then straight home and take a shower." He held her hand. "I don't regret anything we did, but he's different stuff."

"Alright. I don't wanna talk anyway." She looked out of the window, distractedly. "And by the way... you can come to bed when you want, I..." she gulped "I miss you."

"Fine." he replied, tenderly "I miss you too. But I might be late tonight."

Rick got inside and started explaining the meeting they had. He was quite satisfied, but still there were tough conditions to follow. All of them listened to him, Aaron made some comments, but Daryl and Lux kept silent, holding hands. The others looked at them without commenting anything.


	14. Chapter 14

**Based on season 6, with a new female character, using her POV. Warning for explicit language and violence, mentions of sexual abuse and suicide.**

When they arrived at Alexandria, they both went to the infirmary. Lux left first and headed home. She took a long cold shower, and tried not to think; but all the things that had happened before had her anxious and upset. She had recalled many things she had tried to hide, and she had done something disgusting, that could have her rejected by the others, because she needed to do it. Not just because she wanted to protect herself and the community, but also for her own pride. She needed to inflict pain to others, or else scare them to the bone. She was using fear as a weapon, and she liked it. Her only concern was not reaching so far Daryl that would leave her.

She left the bathroom, and had lunch with remains of roasted ham and rice that Carol had made for dinner the night before. She liked her a lot actually, but she knew Carol didn't like her, because Daryl was too important for her. Anyway, the ham tasted delicious.

She asked Carl if he was busy that afternoon, because she wanted to sleep and there was no one else available to look after the baby. He told her not to worry and she went to bed.

At 3 PM she was already awake, but she didn't feel like getting up and babysitting. She was a soldier, a ruthless one. She couldn't look after something so pure.

Someone banged her door. She got up and covered with her dress. It was Glenn.

"Hi. Sorry, Rick wants to see you. Like, now." he was too serious for what she was used to.

"Okay, give me a minute." she replied.

"He is... he is not angry, I guess. But he wants to talk to you, in private."

"We fucked up, it's official."

Rick and Daryl were standing up, in the kitchen. It was strange because they didn't usually go home during the day, and all the meetings about important stuff happened either at the church or in Deanna's house, out of respect for her, even though she was not able to command anymore. She swallowed saliva and noticed Michonne, almost hidden in a corner.

"Hi Rick." she straightened her back and scratched her head. "What's up?"

He was very rigid.

"Okay, now I want to ask you something and I want you both to answer right away, at once." Rick said. "He has already told me what that savior told you. And I need to know… Did you torture that man?" his voice sounded scared and threatening at the same time.

"No." she and Daryl replied together.

"Then, how did you get all that information?" Rick asked.

"I beat him." Daryl answered. "But it wasn't torture, he was bugging me and harassing her."

"I did my best to scare him, that's the truth. I got my hands dirty, but not with him." Lux said, distant. "it worked, and I'm not ashamed or anything. But I didn't touch him, and Daryl didn't do anything villain. The fucker got terrified because he was alone and we played with his mind." she exhaled and went on "Rick, what happened out there? Do we have an agreement? What are we gonna do? Why did they attack us?"

"Rick didn't know they were chasing us." Daryl answered "Apparently they just wanted to trap us, but they didn't count on us resisting."

"We have an agreement, but for the third part of our food, after we talked. I begged for mercy, because we don't have so much food to share." Rick mourned "And he told me they would give us a chance, and they would respect us. But what the man told you changes the picture completely. So part of me is glad you did what you did. Even then, we won't attack them, we can't. We are very few, exposed and weak."

"Yeah, I guess" Lux said. She noticed everybody in the room was suspiciously quiet and upset.

"Fine." Rick concluded. "I'm not gonna ask more and you're not telling me anything else, and you're not telling anyone at all about this. I believe you, but I'm not sure the rest will."

"I wouldn't count on that." Michonne agreed.

"Now, for something more important. We gotta do something about you seven, and I have thought of the worst option, but the best for the people here."

He gasped and continued.

"You're being exiled. You're out from here. I can't do anything else. I know you won't like it, and I don't like it, it is unfair, because I also participated in that, and Glenn, but we are not marked and we have to use that. I am fondly sorry, and also I would prefer to have you here helping us protect Alexandria. But you are target, and you are bait. We are not safe with you here. So" he leaned on the table, and breathed deeply. "Abraham, Tara, Heath, Aaron, Rosita and you both are leaving tomorrow morning. I think it is for the best. You can take anything you need, I mean it. "Rick looked at Lux in the eye. "Ammo, food, meds, whatever. You will have it harder than us to find any of that."

"When can we come back?" she asked, very sad. "If we can..."

"We are talking that maybe we can't come back, ever." Daryl replied, in sorrow. "We will make our best to find a way. But we depend on the forgiveness of a bunch of slaughterers."

Nobody talked for a while. Lux was back to the wall, sad and embarrassed. "Everything is my fault, I shouldn't have taken you there." she said, after some minutes.

"Don't say that, it could have happened anyway, and thanks to you we found a ton of food that helped us depending less on Hilltop." Rick said, more relaxed, still his arms were crossed. "By the way, although I don't want to talk about what you did this morning... thank you. You have saved us from a disaster. Well, now I have to go to Deanna's house, the others are waiting for me to tell them the news. You can start packing."

Michonne approached Lux and told her. "I want you to come upstairs for a moment, if you please."

"Okay. Daryl..." she grabbed his dirty arm. "I think you could go to Carol's. You should say goodbye."

He frowned in surprise "Yeah, I guess you are right."

The men left the house and the women went upstairs.

"You know, I'm sorry." Lux said. "I don't know what you think of me, but I know you don't like me."

"I don't like you, but that's not the point. I... I know you." Michonne replied. "I know you better than you think."

Michonne sat on her bed and grabbed her bag, the one she had always prepared. "Sit with me, I won't yell at you. Look, we don't talk much, and I know what it seems, but it's not like that. You remind me of myself."

"How? I'm very different... I'm... You are a good woman."

Michonne stared at her with her big, black, sharp eyes, and started:

"I see you. Every time you have to go out, on the road again, I can tell you are scared. Everybody thinks it's for the walkers, or the gangs, but I know you are afraid of yourself, of what you can do. Of what you have done out there to survive. And I can't blame you."

Lux pressed her lips on one another and listened, looking at the bedspread.

Michonne went on.

"I know what you could have done today if Daryl didn't stop you, if you were alone."

Lux didn't reply.

"Has he told you how they found me?" Michonne asked "What I looked like?"

"He told me they found you deep in the woods, alone, and you joined them. Nothing more."

"He is a true gentleman." she breathed deeply. "Lux, I used to wander in the forest tied to my husband and my brother... both transformed, both mutilated so they wouldn't hurt me. I had been like that since the walkers hit our camp, within the first weeks."

"I'm sorry." Lux was astonished.

"Thank you. I also lost my little baby in the beginning, in Atlanta, I'm glad he left so soon." she breathed again. "The thing is, I thought I had lost my humanity when I met the group. I thought there was nothing inside me, that I had transformed myself, forever. That is why I kept walking between two walkers, their arms severed and their teeth removed, but guarding me so nobody dared to touch me. I was using fear, because fear was all I had. I don't know what you have done, but I can imagine you are haunted, and that is why we all fear you, because you could hurt yourself or Daryl even without an intention."

"I would never hurt him, he is the best thing that has happened to me." she muttered.

"I know you don't want to. But you have things inside you, that keep pushing out. I see how you look at Judith when you have to babysit her, you don't even touch her. You are scared of yourself."

Lux sat back without looking at her and hid her tears. Michonne continued.

"I just want you to know you are not alone. I used to feel like that. When they found me, and I started to open myself, not completely, even then I was afraid of hurting them. However, time passed and things were good, very good. We suffered, we endured together, I lost some of them, but there I was, human again. Caring, loving, laughing. Things I thought I would never see in myself again." She picked a little shiny piece of glass from her bag. "We used to live in a prison, and it was the first time I slept under a roof in months. I felt awkward, because they acted like they had not lost their values or anything, and I considered myself a misfit. But as I told you, I was making friends and building a family again. And then, one day I was sweeping the floor, and I found this." She showed her a crystal, almost pink. "I don't know where it came from, probably it's just a piece of an ashtray or a plate. I thought it was beautiful and I kept it. It reminded me of a necklace my husband gave me long ago."

"It's very nice." Lux smiled.

"I want you to keep it, I don't need it anymore. But you do."

"Thank you, but I can't accept it. It's your memory, not mine."

"You are in danger." Michonne was speaking firmly. "Now you will go away, we don't know how long, and you will find yourself alone with your inner monsters. You have friends, you have love, but you don't trust yourself as a person, because you remember when you where not human like it was yesterday."

"I don't know if I can change." Lux murmured. "If I can go back to normal."

"You can. You are doing it. You have made a big effort, I didn't think you would merge into us so good. Daryl is proud of you, he told me. So you have come a long way, but there still a big risk of losing what you have. You gotta have this to remember me, and what I'm saying."

"Thank you." Lux took the glass in her hand. It was the size of a hazelnut, and strangely heavy. "I will keep it and look at it when I am scared of myself."

"That's the thing. And... I know it's useless to say this, but don't do anything you will regret deeply. I don't mean killing, you get me."

"Right." Lux stood up. "I better start packing."

"Yeah, and by the way... you're not coming back to this house, if you come. You both will take the one next to the tower, the other side of the road. It's small but it will do for you."

"So you're re-outcasting us."

"You're emancipating. It's about time."

Lux packed her bag alone, locked in the bedroom. She was very sad, because it had been her house for more than a month. The whole community had been her shelter for long and now she was going to abandon it for the wild world. She was also terrified, for herself as Michonne said, and also for all the rest of things and people they might find. But at least there was a "they" now.

She finished packing and went outside for some air. Abraham was coming towards the house, very sad.

"Hi." Lux greeted him

"Hello."

"How's Sasha?"

"I left her crying." Abraham gulped "We should pick a car for tomorrow."

"Now?"

"Now. Heath and Rosita are waiting for us at the gates."

"Fine. I'll grab my guns."

They went outside, and all of them were upset and quiet. They went on rejecting the cars which were stuck, ruined, burnt or had more than one walker trapped inside, and that kept them walking away until seven.

Suddenly, they found two possible cars, one opposite the other, and they split to try them both and save time, as the sun was going down already. Heath and Lux were breaking in a Ranchera that looked empty.

"How are you?" Heath began. "We haven't talked much since the generator."

"Yeah, right?" Lux said. "It looks like an eternity."

"The thing is... well, I'm sorry you are among the expelled ones, but I like having you with us... you're fun."

"Thanks." She smiled. "I noticed you are one of the few who laughs at my stupid jokes."

"It's just that... nobody makes jokes, or little talk, everything is so serious..."

"Yeah, well, I understand them, but I guess I just try to be the way I used to."

"Okay, so, if yo let me, I'm going to start little talk:" Heath began "What do you really miss? I don't mean people, or sad things, just... I don't know, like I miss pizza."

"Hey!" she was pulling a walker out using her leg to lean on the car. "That is sad! I do miss pizza. And tacos, dammit. Coca cola!"

"Yes! That's what I'm talking about. New songs on the radio. Wendy's."

"Shit, I'm shedding a tear. Those places were nice, not like MacDonald's. Also Ben & Jerry's, Cosmopolitan … And I miss TV, a lot."

"Series? CSI? Sopranos?"

"Gray's Anatomy."

"No way! You can't miss that, it was sad." Heath got inside and tried to start it. "You can't miss crying for a stupid program."

"That's precisely what I miss. Crying for stupid things, not for serious ones." She entered the car beside him. "I think I never cried for something serious before I was 25."

The car started and made some noises.

"Can we go adult?" Lux asked, curious. "Like, I miss party. Party hard. One night stands. I think I even miss hangovers."

"Ha ha ha. Yeah, Okay, I miss being able to chill in my room all Sunday because I couldn't move due to hangover. Playing video games and jerking off."

"Dude!" she yelled "I'm a lady!"

"He he. You're not a lady. And you said going adult."

"Hell, you wanna go adult? You look college, with your glasses and your bigoted attitude."

"Yeah, I went to college, I majored in law and then the zombies broke in."

"Right. Then you know what I'm talking about." she took air "I miss cocaine."

He rose his brows in shock. "Wow, I wasn't expecting that, girl."

"Now you're gonna tell me you were the one holding a beer and watching the orgy from the back."

"No, I wasn't. But are you talking all cocaine, or one specific? Because we got shit most of the semester here in Georgia."

"I am referring to the legendary, epic, "I'm a supermodel" kind of shit, _Jersey Pimp_."

"Jesus Christ, I only heard about it sometimes! Where the fuck did you get it?"

"I had the best friends back in Chicago."

"I'm scared of asking you more. Let's go tell them we have a new car. Go to the backseat and clear it out."

"Making me clean? Can you be more sexist?"

"I am a bad cleaner, that's all." He talked to her through the broken window. "Just... please don't tell anyone, Okay? They think I'm a decent guy."

"Yeah, well. I rehab like five years ago, so we're no talking about this again."

* * *

"Well, let's go straight to the point. This is your route." Rick was unfolding the maps on the table at Deanna's, between Abraham and Eugene. There were only the seven involved, plus Michonne, Maggie and Glenn. The atmosphere was tense. "Glenn and me are going to go with you for the first ten miles, but then you travel alone. We are basically heading north west, towards the Appalachian, according to what that savior told you."

"You should study escaping routes no matter how" Eugene continued "in case you fall in a trap, or the road is stuffed with walkers. There is also a big risk of landslides in that area, along with floods, due to the time of the year, and encounters with the other gang he told you about."

"We have been talking with the people at Hilltop" Rick said, "and there is a running commentary about an all-men militia, former marines, who used to wander those roads during the first months after everything ended. We hope it's not the case. Anyway, as Eugene said, you must be always thinking of sideway chances. You must get used to that again."

"Okay, sorry for interrupting, but..." Tara made her best to stay calm and make a proper request "Is there any plan at all or is this just about hitting the road and driving far away forever? Are we thinking of building our own camp apart?"

"That's sort of the point, actually." Maggie replied, downhearted. "We hope you can begin again and we can meet someday when things look better. But as long as you are being chased..." she caressed her womb "we can't shelter you, that's all."

"Just to enlighten the situation a bit now," Eugene continued "and as your escaping route is merely tangential to the one towards the coal workshop we are working on, you can pick supplies before going further. We are making shifts to protect the ammunition we already have, so you can take everything you need, we will make more later on."

"Thank you" Lux said, hunched over in a corner.

"Right, so... "Daryl said, standing opposite Rick" All this is neat, and you are helping us a lot, and I understand we gotta go away, but... Is this it? Is this all we are going to do? Like... Aren't we giving up somehow?"

"It's simple, mate. You want to fight, you do it far away. I'm sorry." Glenn replied, hugging Maggie. "We can't host fugitives, no matter if it is fair or not. We can't afford it. This is not a battle camp, we are building a civilization here."

"It's just a baby." Rosita muttered. No one seemed to hear her.

"I don't know what to say." Rick combed his hair backwards with his hands, and looked away. "I am angry, and frustrated, and I feel I have failed you although it's not my fault. I want to think this is temporary, and it's just another expedition like the ones the members of this community used to do, like Heath was doing when we arrived. I don't know, man."

"In my opinion" Aaron began, beside Lux "we should face this issue like the survivors we are. It's shit, but we have to go through it, and use what we have."

"Strength?" Abraham said.

"Luck." Aaron replied. "We are lucky. And I know you hate me for saying this, but we are alive, we are together, we stand. And we have been so lucky to know our destiny beforehand and change it, because that is what we are doing now. We are fixing a problem before it hits us. So I guess this is what there's left for us, our chances. And we must use them."

Lux kissed his cheek. Some people nodded, the others didn't reply.

"Good, we are leaving tomorrow at eight, so you can rest well." Rick finished, folding the map. Everybody went home.

* * *

Michonne was standing on her porch, arms crossed, very serious.

"Good night." she greeted.

"Mmmhm." Daryl replied.

"What are you doing, drinking at my door at 2 AM?"

"Your door? I thought is was mine too." he tried to stand up, but failed miserably.

"Not anymore, I already told Lux that you were moving to the other house when you come back, but you could stay here tonight. However, drinking your ass out, on your own, in the middle of the night, is not the best farewell."

"Sorry ma'am, did I bother you?" Daryl mocked.

"Yeah, actually you woke me up smashing a bottle on the floor a minute ago. Do you recall doing that?"

"Yes. I do." He stuttered. "Sorry."

"What's the problem? You fought again?"

"No, it's not that... it's... I don't know, it's not her fault. I don't want to sleep."

"You prefer to feel miserable out here, and throw up on my bushes." She approached him.

"Okay, I had it coming. I'm going for a walk."

"First you should try to stand on your feet for a while."

He finally stood up and looked at her. "I need a break, from everything. I... don't know what I'm doing anymore."

She thought for a moment and then asked, carefully. "Are you assuring me that this is just about you, and not about you and her? Like, I am not messing between you and Miss Super White Trash if I talk to you?"

He laughed, still dizzy. "No, it's fine, go ahead."

"I get it. She turned your life upside down within a couple of weeks, and I understand it's too much for what you are used to, but... I thought you were happy."

"I am. I guess. I don't know what that means, I didn't use to think in those terms..."

"You got me confused." she said. "I would understand it if she was dependent, jealous, or needed you all the time, but you both only see each other less than ten hours a day... is it too much contact for you?"

"No, it's not that, I like what we have."

"And... is she asking for more?"

"No." he kept looking at the stairs. "But what you said... when we are doing duty, or hanging out, or patrolling, when I take her out for a ride, that's when I enjoy it, you know? Because she is strong, self sufficient, she doesn't need me. We are together because we want to. But when I see her asleep, it's like I feel the weight of the world on my shoulders. I have to protect her, and I can't bear with that."

"Yeah, right. That's a bummer. Welcome."

"I always knew I had to defend everybody, and I got tired of it sometimes, but now... she is fragile goods. She is special."

"I will never tell her you call her that." she said. "But all this is normal. It's love."

"I guess it is. Wanna know something stupid?" he pulled a smirk. "I kept her phone number with me. I found the piece of paper where she wrote it years ago, stuck in my pants, when we reached the prison, and I didn't throw it away. It made me feel good. I still have it."

"After what she did to you."

"Well, I wasn't a saint, exactly." he sighed. "And now I'm unable to go all suburban with her."

"You are scared to lose her. You don't want to sleep beside her because it reminds you it could be the last night."

"Exactly. You are clever."

"I am." she walked down the stairs and stood before him. "You know what? I'm sorry to break it to you, but it is true. You are going to lose her. It could happen anytime."

He looked at her in shock.

"You will lose her, you could die too, but she is likely to go sooner." Michonne breathed deeply. "And I can lose Rick tomorrow, going out with you. We can lose Carl, and Judith. I can lose you. It's gonna happen. You have to face it."

"I don't want to face that!"

"I thought I was talking to the bravest man I ever met. But you don't have the guts to sleep with your girlfriend because she could die in the morning."

"That's cruel."

"But that's exactly what you have been thinking all this time. And that's exactly the reason why you should go in there and make love to her, because it could be the last time, and also it's for sure the last time you'll have a bed in months."

He stood up too. "Anything else?"

"It just bugs me that you both keep staying in denial with each other. You are fine together. You should see your face every time she pops up, it's like watching Winnie the Pooh waking up on Christmas. Gosh."

"Ha ha ha, you don't seem to enjoy it, it's almost like you were jealous."

She didn't reply.

"Fuck, say something."

"Gimme the booze." she said, reaching him with her hand.

"You just said it, I dropped it on your stairs."

"I mean the rest. You always carry a flask with you."

"Here you are." He looked at her, confused.

She took a big gulp and started. "I will deny saying this, but... I used to like you. I won't tell you when, or how long, but I really liked you. Don't say a thing, just listen. I never did anything because I didn't trust myself... I didn't think I could tear down the fucking concrete wall you always had around you. I wasn't eager to share deep feelings either, but you always looked like hidden out, far away... like nobody could touch you deep, not even Carol. That's why I never tried, because I thought it was a waste of time and I could lose you as a friend. And now you tell me you were keeping her number? What the fuck dude?"

He sighed, bummed, and asked. "And why on Earth are you telling me this now?"

"I'm telling you so you learn a bit about wasting your time, about missing your chances, about wondering for the rest of your life what could have happened if... I guess I'll never know, and I moved on... and I found someone else, I'm fine with him... but I will never know now, right?"

He shrugged his shoulders. "I'm going for a walk."

"Okay, go. And please don't wake me up again when you enter."

"Good night. And..."

"What?"

He dared to look at her "Thank you."

"What for? "Michonne asked.

"I don't know."

One hour later Daryl went back home and got in bed beside Lux. She didn't wake up completely:

"Jesus, you reek of cheap whiskey."

"I'm sorry." he replied.

"Take off your clothes, you always scratch me."

"Okay."

"Good night, tramp."

"Good night. Lux..."

"What?"

"I love you."

She opened her eyes wide and turned around, facing him. "What?"

"I said I love you."

"You're an idiot." she smiled. "I love you too."

She held him so tight that she felt his ribs against hers.

"Do you... do you want to do something?"

"He he. That's kind of a teenage pick up line." he stared at her eyes, excited. "Do you?"

"Yeah. And I want you to ask me for what you want. I won't get mad, just ask and I say yes or no."


	15. Chapter 15

**Based on season 6, with a new female character, using her POV. Warning for explicit language and violence, mentions of sexual abuse and suicide.**

"Good morning Vietnam! How are you?" Lux asked, still sleepy, putting on her sunglasses.

"I just got up and had a shower and yet my balls are already sweating." Abraham replied.

"That is the hell of an answer."

"Have you decided how which car you are going?"

"I don't know, whatever they plan." Lux replied.

"He nailed you hard last night, huh? You don't even care where he goes today."

"Yeah, it's a way to put it."

"I guess Rick will head the expedition with Daryl and Glenn, because they are his pretty bitches, and then you, Aaron, Tara and Heath on the Pussy Car, and Rosita and me."

"On the Regret Mobile."

"More or less."

"Are all of us going to the bullet factory?"

"Of course, we stick together. Why?"

"I don't know, it looks like a waste of time. Like, go get what we know we need, and the others could be already clearing the zone forward."

"That's bullshit, honey. You think you can make a plan like a General but your brain is small. You can't clear shit. Walkers come and go. If you bother wasting time and energy killing some before we arrive, more will come from another place and all will have been for nothing."

"I hate you when you are right."

"How come can you talk so much early in the morning?" Daryl was bringing her backpack to the Corolla. He told Lux "I'll go here, and your ass is sitting behind me."

"I'm surrounded by true gentlemen, am I not?" she cackled.

The first miles of the ride were easy, peaceful, they didn't have to face any threat. It was strangely normal. They just remembered from time to time that it could be their last time leaving Alexandria, but some of them began to think that it had been just another chapter. They went through secondary roads, spotting little groups of walkers here and there, and not a living person. When they reached the point of farewell, they stopped and left the vehicles.

"Well I... "Glenn began."

"Don't you fucking cry on me, my Chinese fellow." Abraham interrupted, emotional.

"He's Korean, and please, let's not make a drama." Daryl replied. "So long, Rick." They hugged so hard there was a loud thud.

"Well, I already told Abraham." Rick said. "You are not coming back in a month, just to make sure of how things are going. Then, we'll meet at the bullet workshop, and figure out what to do. In the mean time, er... take care of your butts."

They said goodbye to each other and Rick came next to Lux, hesitating. "Well, I hope we end better than we began, right?"

"I will miss you." she kissed his face and held him tight. "I will miss you much. You are the best boss I've had."

"Thank you?" he laughed.

She smiled. They kept looking at each other's eyes, silent, trying to act casually. But they didn't feel like saying gooodbye. Eventually Lux grabbed his forearm as a farewell and went back to her car.

They split and the new group headed to the bullet workshop, where they picked all of the ammo that had been made since they started. The weather was already different, cloudy and even more moist than in the valley.

"Eugene told me..." Tara began "we should grab warm clothes, or at least rain jackets, something. Like... get them somewhere. I mean… if we find walkers..."

"Everybody knows what you mean, it's fine." Rosita replied.

"There's a storage room out there, it's clean but we don't use it." Ron, one of the men watching the workshop, said "You can give it a try if you want. Here, have the keys."

"I'll go." Lux said. "Aaron?"

He followed her. Daryl didn't like it, but he was reckoning with the others how much ammo they would need.

Ten minutes passed and nobody came back.

"Tara, please, Can you go and give a hint there?" Daryl requested. "I'm quite busy here. you can take Ron with you."

"Okay, I'll go alone, I gotta pee anyway." She replied.

"Er... it's fine. Thanks."

She found Lux sitting on the ground, getting wet due to the light rain falling. She was holding Aaron's shoulders; he had been bitten on his neck by a walker. Her knife was still showing off on the left side of his head. She was a complete mess, and she couldn't react.

"Damn it." Tara covered her mouth with her hands and hid a scream. She got next to her and knelt "Hey, Lux, look at me! Hey, please, say something!"

"It was quick." she muttered, looking at him. "We were trying to open a closet there inside, and one of them came from nowhere. Aaron got his pants stuck on a nail on the wall, and tried to move, but then another one appeared. They were hidden behind the closet. We didn't hear them."

"I know it wasn't your fault, but please." Tara was trying not to break down in tears. "You have to leave him and come with us, you are..." she noticed her stiff arms and her frozen face. "Girl, you are having a panic attack. Let me help you."

She helped her standing up and checked her body: Lux had not been bitten. Tara pulled her knife out of Aaron's head, while Lux waited, still unable to move.

"The walkers are still inside, I closed the door." Lux muttered.

"Fine, I'll go get them." Daryl replied, putting his hand on her shoulder. "You go with the others. Heath, come with me. Heath!"

"I was just telling him how I managed to hide pot in the community palsy." Heath mumbled "I was going to finish the story."

"It's fine, I'll take care of it." Abraham said. "You fuckers stick together like babies in a nursery, okay? Ron, try not to fuck up again."

"I'm sorry. I'm so sorry!" he yelled.

They went inside the bullet workshop again and waited for the others. Tara was getting water for Lux and helping her breathing. Rosita went closer to them and they shared their silence for a while.

"I didn't get to know him well, but you both were close." Rosita said after some time.

"He showed me everything in Alexandria. Glenn was the one who introduced me your people, but Aaron told me the secrets and the gossip I should know about. And we stumbled together a lot of times outside. He was my buddy. Shit."

"People, we..." Abraham had a heavy breathing when he came back. "We should leave and drive up north, and settle in a clear area soon. It's getting dark. Come on."

* * *

Tara was sitting now beside Lux on the Corolla, with Daryl and Abraham. Aaron had come with them until then, and she changed to their car because she didn't want to leave her alone. They didn't talk, both crying in silence looking out through the windows. The cars sped up before reaching an uphill lane, narrowing in the distance, which they had identified as 445W, further than they had reached since they arrived at Alexandria. Lux thought of Stephen King. She couldn't finish "The Shining", and she forgot to bring the book (too heavy for a survival backpack anyway), but she had read some of his books before, and that was her closest contact with misty mountains. She was scared, upset, shocked, still incapable of focusing. However, part of her felt safe among her friends, even though she had just lost one of them. Daryl reached her leg with his hand, sneaking from his seat.

"Are you good? Well... decent?"

"I'm shit, but I have you all now." she held his hand.

They stopped in the middle of a crossroad and stepped outside.

"We are not going further today." Abraham said. "I think 40 miles is better than nothing and we must focus on staying safe rather than running away. So let's choose a corner, I don't give a fuck which one, hide the cars, clear it and sort out the watching shifts. I'm not taking the first one, I need a nap. Or getting hit on my head with a bat. Anything will do."

"I thought..." Tara was upset, trying to get herself together. "I thought we were looking for a shelter... a roof."

"We are. Have you seen one?" Daryl replied. "I'm not being sarcastic or anything, have you seen one?"

"No, I haven't." she looked at the ground.

"Then let's put up some tents and pray for the rain not to fall again." Daryl concluded. Lux was putting all her effort in grabbing as much luggage from the cars as she could.

"Well, since we are heading North west... I say the North corner. Whatever." Rosita said, aimless.

"Fine. Help me with this and we'll go down to chopping heads." Abraham finished.

They settled their new camp on the wet field and decided that the first watchers would be Rosita, Heath and Tara. Daryl didn't sleep but he didn't want to leave his girl alone. Then, when the sun was rising, they both and Tara replaced the others. Anyway, barely any of them slept at all during the first nights.

The next day they started driving at midday so they would be fresh, and managed to get another 30 miles further, until they reached a dead end. The road was blocked by a barricade, already abandoned, but standing still.

"Well, fuck." Daryl called Abraham through the radio, he was driving the sedan that Lux and Heath had found. "Dude, what do we do now?"

"I don't know, man, I am tired and I want a beer and have Jessica Alba make me a sandwich." he ignored Rosita's angry glance. "Let's hide the cars and God will provide."

They stepped down and stretched their legs, while thinking of what to do.

"Here, blond." he threw her his keys "You can drive my car."

"Sir, there's three things I'm doing again in this life: maths, sex on a sandy beach, and driving a Japanese car. Have them back."

"Then you're driving the other." Daryl said.

"I'll take it, Abe." Rosita said.

"Guys." Lux said, pointing to a car on the East side. "Guys, isn't it the Camaro we had in front of the gates? Someone has stolen it!"

"Yes, it is. Fuck him!" Daryl yelled

"Leave it be, it's useless now. We can't even drive it." Tara said.

"Bullshit! it's ours, and it was stolen by someone who knows where we live." He picked his crossbow and approached the vehicle across the bushes on the side of the road."

"He's got the brains of a hamster, literally." Heath said, next to Lux.

"Yeah."

"There is no one inside" Daryl said when he came back from the car", but I found a jacket, a huge one, and I think it's Ben's."

"Great." Lux replied. "I'm gonna pee."

"You're not going anywhere until we find him." Daryl stated.

"Until we find who?" Lux replied. "Do you even know how long has that car been there? Do you know if it was someone who now is walking around, rotting? I'm going to pee behind that oak, in three minutes, and I'm ready for whatever is coming."

"I correct, you both are a couple of hamsters."

Lux left and hid behind the big oak on the other side of the road. She had not unbuttoned her jeans when she felt a cold cannon pushing the back of her head.

"Wait." muttered. "Wait. Please don't. Don't do anything stupid or my friends are making more holes on you."

"It's me. Get out and shut up."

"Carol?" She turned to her "What the fuck? What are you doing here?"

She didn't stop pulling her pistol at her face. "Don't say you saw me here. Ever. Make up anything."

"But why?"

"You wouldn't understand." Carol replied, emotional.

"Try."

"I can't kill anyone else to stay safe."

"You are pointing at me with a Mexican 357." Lux "Try again."

"I can't kill for anyone else, I can't." she found it hard to speak, she was having a nervous fit. "I can't build a life in a decent place having to slaughter people each day."

"So you prefer to go suicidal and die alone."

"Bitch, you are not the one to judge me." Carol fumed, defying.

"I'll tell you what: you can't do this to me. You can't disappear because if you do, Daryl will feel worse than anyone, and I can't console him for your loss. I can't replace you and you will end him. So stop thinking about your own ass."

"Lux, is everything alright?" Tara shouted from the distance.

"Shut your fucking mouth." Carol insisted, wiping the tears off her face. "Leave me alone, this is how I want it. I want to be on my own."

"You don't even know what you are talking about."

Lux was going to get out from there and tell everybody about Carol, but Heath and Daryl were approaching them from the side.

"Hold down! Hold the fuck down bastard!" Daryl shouted, grabbing Carol from the shirt. "What? I'm sorry... What are you doing here?"

* * *

The group had a risky plan to follow ahead. They were trying to dismantle the barricade, around four meters high and made of wood, metal and bricks, as fast as they could. It took them a whole week. They were constantly stopped by the pouring rain, the walkers coming and going, and the barricade itself, which would tremble and lose pieces that fell on their heads. They wished they had finished earlier, because they were scared it was some kind of trap. However, they had no choice but to go on. Daryl and Lux were doing fine again, trying their best to communicate, though they didn't have much intimacy anymore, but they still had the cars for their encounters. Carol had a bad time changng her mind and trying to fit again in the group, but noone told her off for her previous decision. The entire group was mourning their new fate, but they standed together.

"I think Will Smith is alive." Heath began, trying to make the night watch more entertaining.

"Well, I don't. I don't think anyone I knew is alive." Tara replied, gloomy.

"Many rich people must be alive. Will Smith is, for sure." Lux said. "And Brad Pitt."

"You are just thinking of hot guys." Heath said.

"Well, if you want me to balance it, I'm most sure Keith Richards is also alive." she laughed

"Good one." Tara tried to keep up with them. "Angelina Jolie must be alive, having more children."

"Sure. Queen Elizabeth II." Lux said. "And Lady Gaga, and Cher."

"Fuck, you made me think of Barbra Streisand." Heath laughed

"My landlord. He was older than 90, but nobody fucking knew." Tara said, disgusted. "He is alive. Probably feeding on walkers."

"Clint Eastwood is alive, I'm sure." Carol said, sitting by them.

"I'm sorry, did we wake you up?" Lux said, ashamed.

"No, don't worry, I barely sleep. I listened to you for a while until I liked the conversation."

"How are you?" she asked.

"I'm good. A bit frustrated, but I admit my plan was a disaster."

"I... I think I understand what you are going through." she took her hand. "I'll kill for you. It's duty. I know you already have a super hero on your side, but I don't mind helping."

"Thanks." she smiled at her. "What you said yesterday... it was very considered. You care a lot for him."

"I was feeling sorry for myself, suddenly I thought he would go terribly upset forever without you. And I didn't want to see him upset. And I knew I couldn't console him." She admitted.

"That's very noble of you. Well, Daryl told me why you had to leave together... I knew about it but I didn't know exactly what you wanted to do. And I didn't want to wait longer. I didn't know all of you had left Alexandria already."

"And how come did you follow the same route?"

"I began to drive East, but I thought that you would look for me that way."

"Well, I'm glad you were wrong."

* * *

The final day they were exhausted, but capable of taking apart the junk and calculating the space they needed to pass through.

"Well, he have lost a ton of time here, and we are flashing like a whorehouse for the creeps around." Daryl was finishing putting a huge stick on the left side. "Let's get the fuck out of here now and diverse from the road as soon as we can."

"I agree." Rosita replied. "I drive the Corolla and Lux the other one."

"Right, let's go." Lux said, zipping up Aaron's raincoat. Tara had taken it for her because it was very warm, and she liked wrapping up in it. "split in the cars the way you want."

"I'll go with you" Tara said.

"Me too." Carol said.

"Okay, we'll take the Penis Van." Abraham replied.

They started driving again at ten in the morning and they didn't stop until Lux was hungry, around two o'clock. That is, not counting the several stops to put away obstacles on the road, including walkers. They didn't talk much during the ride, but all of them had a strange feeling about that way: no living people anywhere, not many walkers, indeed no groups of walkers. That road seemed to be watched.

"Hey." Daryl started to speak on the walkie. "This map points a narrow lane beginning on he right in 2 miles, we're getting it."

"Copy that."

But there was no lane. There was nothing. Someone had just dug a big whole in it, a massive pothole. It went along half a mile, and the rain had filled it in the last few days. It was impossible to go through that mud pool.

"Okay, we're not doing that." Lux was sitting on the car, with the door open.

"It seems we are being herded like sheep towards somewhere." Abraham pointed, quietly, standing opposite her, leaning on the car." We should not camp, not even leave the cars in a while.

"I'm not discussing before a snack, sorry." She opened a packet of apple cookies and offered him. Daryl reached them from the side, before she saw his face.

"There is nothing to discuss, we have no choice. I'm starting to doubt we ever had it." he said, munching on a cookie. "Let's just go on. Whatever is ahead, will screw us anyway."

"That's the positivity I needed now." Tara complained.

"You know what? Fuck it all. We are going down swinging." Lux picked a CD from the space between the front seats and chose one she had found, only female rockers in it. They listened to Janis Joplin, Hole, Alanis Morrissette, No Doubt, and others. They played it three times in a row during the following four hours, but they didn't want to sing along to it. Until Lux began to mumble "Because the night", by Patty Smith. At first she was quiet, but then she started singing aloud, turned the volume up and opened the windows.

 _Come on now try and understand / the way I feel under your command / take my hand as the sun descends/_

And in that moment, Tara followed her.

 _They can't touch you now, / can't touch you now, can't touch you now / Because the night belongs to lovers/Because the night belongs to love/Because the night belongs to lovers/Because the night belongs to love_

And finally Carol went along, from the bottom of her heart.

 _With love we sleep / with doubt the vicious circle / turn and burns / without you I cannot live_

 _forgive, the yearning burning / I believe it's time, too real to feel / so touch me now, touch me now, touch me now_

"This is adult car here," Daryl said, on the walkie "please shut the fuck up or you will get us all eaten alive..."

Lux flipped the finger out of the window.

 _Because the night belongs to lovers/Because the night belongs to love/Because the night belongs to lovers/Because the night belongs to love_

Lux wouldn't remember it well, when she tried to recall it months later. She saw a huge, oxidized metal plate laying on the ground, before her, and rapidly thought of breaking the car at once, but then realized something.

"Hold on to yourselves! I can't stop or the car behind will hit us!"

The spikes blew off the tires and she lost control of the car, which started spinning. She tried to control it twisting the wheel in the same direction, as her brother told her once, but it didn't work. After three rounds, they stopped. They couldn't hear a noise.

"Are you good?" Tara asked.

"I am." Carol said.

"Let's get out of here, I'm heading to the bushes." Lux said.

"Why?" Carol asked, puzzled.

"Because this is a spiderweb and we are the flies".

She left and heard the first shots. She hid into the bush and waited, breathing fast. There were screams and more shots, and she started feeling bad, because she must had waited for the others. But she was so scared she couldn't think in those terms. She then thought she might be more useful if she wasn't caught, but it seemed like a stupid excuse anyway.

"You are alone, bitch. You are alone again." she unlocked her eagle and swallowed saliva.

The noises stopped and she waited. She only heard a walker moaning in the distance, and some branches creaking around.

* * *

"Give in babe... just let go..." Daryl muttered, knelt on the ground, tied down, bleeding from his forehead.

He could hear the men shouting, loading their guns, swearing and cursing on her, who was the only one thy had not trapped yet. He heard a commander beside him giving orders.

"We are only giving one more chance, then we shoot her down."

"Copy." Other voice replied.

He heard the radio, the dogs.

* * *

There were dogs sniffing around.

"What the fuck." Lux thought

She didn't give in, and she didn't know why. She waited until she heard a dog barking close to her, and then the first raindrops hit her face. And she got out from her hiding place, and she fought. She shot, and cut, and she got beaten, and cut, and bitten by a dog. A dog so big it looked like the ones on the horror books she read at home when she was fourteen. And then she got knocked out.

She woke up on the ground, her face against the wet pavement, a boot on her head.

"Well, here she is." the commander stated. "She is tough as a buffalo, but not anymore. Are we talking now?"

"Leave her alone!" Abraham said. Rosita and him were confronting them in the distance.

"No, no way. We have five of you and still you fuckers are pointing at us." A colonel added. "You are not very clever, are you."

The colonel dragged by the hair towards the cliff on the side of the road. She kept screaming and fighting. The man pulled his AK towards her head.

"I'm not giving a speech now. Just put down the guns or I blow her off."

They gave in.

"Oh my, my, look what the rain dragged in! You are the ones that everyone is talking about." the General said, getting out of his Hummer. "But I can't make the figures, they say you are four men and three women, and I can see more tits than expected."

"She... the one on my left was not in the bunch, we found her on the way here." Daryl was trying to think fast. "Leave her be, she has done nothing. We lost a friend three days ago."

Lux was dizzy, cold, all her body hurt. She tasted blood in her mouth, and the dogs were still sniffing on her. She heard people, she heard her friends talking. And she heard a helicopter. And she blacked out.


	16. Chapter 16

**Based on season 6, with a new female character, using her POV. Warning for explicit language and violence, mentions of sexual abuse and suicide.**

She woke up sitting on a car, between two soldiers in clean, ironed, new uniforms. She felt dazed, her head hurt like hell, she wanted to throw up badly. Her hands were tied down on her lap. And she was terrified. Then she spotted Abraham sitting on the front right seat, and she calmed down, but she remained silent.

"So this is what's left of the National Guard?" Abraham asked.

"This is the National Guard." a big, black, surprisingly young man was speaking beside him. "We have forts here and in Washington, one in the Rocky Mountains, though we haven't reached them in months, and then the super complex in New York. Well, New New York, if you let me. It was basically burnt down to ashes and reconstructed, but we don't have civilians there."

"And what about here?" Abraham asked.

"No, not either, but here I'm talking just about this fort. I meant there are no civilians in New York City, not even one."

Abraham didn't reply. He saw Lux's open eyes through the rear view mirror, but he didn't say anything.

"We are taking you to the base, in a non secured area, so you don't see anything you shouldn't, and you are not seen by anyone who shouldn't see you. Particularly the ladies. Oh, there you are, sweetie." He winked at her on the mirror.

"Is it going to take us much longer?" she asked. "I feel sick."

The stranger laughed "Is that a vomit threat on an Army car? Don't worry, we'll stop at a clinic before entering the base to heal your wounds. The last ones, that is."

"Cool. What is your name?"

"It's fun because your friend didn't bother to ask. My name's Major Gordon Ramsey and you can make all the jokes you want about it. You will basically just talk to me, my General is a bit of a diva and he only makes dramatic show off from time to time."

"Are we prisoners?" Lux asked.

"Oh, don't worry, not you all. Just you alone. But you are pretty, you will get to have a pillow tonight." Gordon answered.

Daryl was waiting for her at the clinic door, among with five soldiers. But the strangest thing for Lux were the streetlights. Fucking streetlights.

"You can't enter with her, I'm sorry." Gordon said.

"As if I had not seen her naked."

"Don't worry, I'm good." Lux said, turning pale. "See you, dork."

"Hi." the doctor said, inside the clinic "Please sit down. I'm going to take blood for tests, and also have a look at your wounds."

"Aren't you going to tell me your name?"

"No, and don't tell me yours, I don't care." the prick hurt like a stab. "I'm sorry, I'm not a nice doctor. You are safe here, but nobody is nice. Hell, you look horrid. Are you sick?"

"I don't think so, I'm just tired. And I need to throw up."

He gave her a bucket.

"I'm going to check your temperature. Pray for it to be normal, or we'll take care of you."

"Like burn me up alive?"

"Sort of. Well, it's probably for the dog bite, your body got defensive. But don't worry, these dogs we have now are healthy."

"Where are my friends?"

"I think they are taking them to the base for tonight. You will go to a cell in another section. And perhaps they will be able to see you in a couple of days."

"But what did I do? Is it just because I fought back?"

"It's just because we didn't feel like killing you right away because we were scared of your friends." He finished cleaning her wounds. "Do you remember stabbing a soldier on his shoulder? Because you did."

"Vaguely."

"He's just fine, thanks for asking. You must take an urine test. Don't look at me like that, I'm not aching to check it either. Go to that closet."

She did so.

"Look." He sat before her. "You are completely screwed, but if you don't mess up again, you will have just a scratch to recall this experience. I understand you are scared, but you are defenseless here. You are not free anymore, any of you. We don't know what we are going to do about you, but please don't fuck up. Please. You wouldn't be the first civilians we put down."

"Okay."

"So, there's that for now. You will have your tests in a couple of days. Your friends are having them tomorrow, it's nothing personal, nor torture. Do you need anything?"

"Valium. I'm not having a night alone and sleepless anymore."

"Just curious. Would you blow me for that?"

"Totally." She replied, without stuttering.

"Well, don't worry, I don't even like girls. Here you are."

* * *

"She will be fine." Carol said, when they arrived at the base. "She can put up with it."

"I'm sure she thinks she can." Daryl replied. "How are you?"

"I feel stupid. Completely stupid. I could be good right now, chilling at my porch with my man and my iced tea, and I will have to sleep in a boot camp in the mountains."

"Well, this doesn't look so boring. Are you cold? Lux left a sweater in the car."

"I don't think it will fit me." she winked.

"It will, and please stop making that kind of jokes."

* * *

She got taken to the cell. It wasn't so bad as she thought. One little room with white tiles on the walls, a bed, a toilet and a basin. At least she didn't have to pee with others looking, as she had heard from other people. The pills were kicking in, and she didn't mind much anything. She sat on the bed and thought of turning the lights off. She thought that she might get cold. She might not be allowed to turn off the light. She might have a blanket there somewhere.

She fell asleep.

She woke up with a guard shaking her shoulders.

"Hey, it's time, get up."

"Time for what?"

"You have breakfast on a tray, and one visit allowed."

She didn't feel like she had slept at all, even though the clock said six hours had passed. She had forgotten that bad feeling with sleeping pills.

"I'll leave you alone for washing up, you have to look decent for the General to see you."

She didn't dare to ask what he meant.

* * *

"Well, gentlemen, welcome to my place." General Harris sat down on his leather armchair in front of his mahogany desk, which looked decent except for lacking part of itself, like it had been ripped apart somehow. "I'm sorry we didn't bring all the group here, but you know, rules of the household."

"Yeah, we understand this is Iran." Heath said, without looking at him.

"Very picky, thanks. We have made everything in our will to keep this place safe and peaceful." The General offered them malt whiskey and cigars. "Just so you know, Cuba stands still. We should have learned from them long ago."

"So, what are you going to do with us?" Abraham asked. "You said you know about us, then you know about Negan. Then you have some role in this, against us or on our side."

"That's a big misconception, but I understand. I'll explain myself." The General began again. "We don't take part. We observe, we have been watching you in Alexandria, indeed, and we have news for you, bad and good. The bad is we don't give a fuck about you. The good is we don't give a fuck about you, at all. So, we don't mess with you, we don't help you. I see you escaped ahead in time, and that is something valuable, but I'm afraid your trip ends here. There is nothing further on the road."

"What? There is, for sure, but you will stop us for no reason." Daryl said, leaning forward.

"There is nothing. Because we don't want it to be." The General continued. "There are mountains, which we haven't bothered clearing or anything, stuffed with walkers, murderers, and so on, and there are the Pools. The Pools are the fields we cleared, and we wanted to stay clear, and we have used the most efficient tool to do it." Harris made one of his dramatic pauses "Mines. Plastic mines. We perfectly know where they are, but we won't tell you, because fuck you. That's why. So no, there is nothing ahead."

"So then you are sending us back towards our own death." Daryl replied.

"Life's a bitch. What can I say. Okay, you are what we call "trained civilians", so you are not completely useless, but you see... we can't use you. So we are not interested in you or your community."

"Sorry, I'm trying to adjust here." Abraham said. "you are the Army, Uncle Sam's boys, and you are saying you know we are threatened by a goddamn militia, and you don't give a fuck? And we are trapped here?"

"You are not, at all. You can go. You can go backwards, or sideways." The General drank from his glass. "I'm not gonna lie, there are not many options now. We have counted up to fifty gangs, only in the state of Virginia. New York state is much worse. This, gentlemen, is the big picture you wanted. The bad guys own the place."

"And you hide like rats wearing your expensive uniforms and drinking expensive booze." Daryl replied.

"We stand. We are alive. And we have a huge laboratory where we are trying to save the world from this disease. And that, my fellow American, that is the only thing you should worry about. That is the only thing I have worried about for two years. No mercy, no love, no friends. The Antidote and the Vaccine, I am gonna get those names tattooed on my balls. And we have done everything, capital E, to keep the experiments going ahead."

"So we are abandoned anyway." Daryl insisted.

"Yes. Because we are not doing anything for you, or with you. I get you, Negan is a pain in the ass, and they are crazy, and we have lost men due to their stupid behavior. But confronting them means we are on someone else's side. And "sides" is what fucked up the old world. Do you know how long it took to organize an emergency meeting in the Congress the first day they knew about the crises, when the Pentagon informed the president? Ten hours. Ten hours to get their asses sat and start talking. Exactly ten congressmen didn't make it to the meeting because they were already rotting inside their cars."

"Why are we so useless?" Heath asked "Just curious."

"First, you are what we call primitive. It's not an insult, it means you plant and you harvest, you have a community, you have lives. Second, more important: you have women. Don't get me wrong, I have nothing against them, it's just they are unreliable in the battle. Period. Ha ha ha I didn't intend to make that joke. Third, you are very few."

"We are sixty summing up with Hilltop." Daryl said, cross.

"Fifty already. They have lost ten people within two months. I'm sorry, we also have spies. My point is, compared to us, you are little mice lost in a garage. A garage stuffed with rabid dogs."

"But there has to be a role for us in this new order!" Heath was furious. "There must be something we and you can do apart from sitting down and wait!"

"Do you want to be tested on with the new meds? The experimental ones? The soup we have made with the zombie blood and a ton of antibiotics and immune depressants? It's very fun to watch. By the way, that's what we do with the bad guys who mess with us. I'm glad the chick we trapped yesterday is going free today or so."

"Then, if we are so useless, let's go." Daryl stood up. "Give us a car, or repair ours, so we can leave as soon as you release her."

"Well, I had not thought of that. We owe you, sort of. I'll see what we can do. We will figure out what to do about the car and the girl at lunchtime." He tried to shake Daryl's hand, but he rejected it. "I'm sorry we didn't come to terms."

"Bye." Heath rushed towards the door.

Abraham stood still opposite the General, without moving.

"No. You know what? Fuck you. I'm done with you. You are here, on top of the world, saying what's what, with your tanks and your helicopters and your bombs, and you don't know what there is outside. There are people, good people, but also fierce. My group has endured everything you can imagine without all those tanks, sticking together, commanded by a man who could fold you and get you in the boot of his car in two seconds. Seriously, you'll shit bricks when you meet Rick. And don't get me started with our women, because they are strong, brave and very clever. Fuck, it took you half a troop to hunt down the blond one! And you are telling me that we can't fight Negan together? Are you shitting me? We can set an ambush in five minutes without a map! You hear me? Without a fucking map! You don't want to defeat Negan because you are either like them or hoping to use them for your goals. And both options are disgusting. I understand that you are very comfortable and warm and cozy up here, fuck, you even have heating. But there is more to life than a bunker. We have it." he stopped talking to breathe and drink some more. "And you know what else? You are not so well. I have seen you, and you all look like shit, you are weak and you have lost many teeth. And I have a friend, a friend who is the smartest guy on the planet, who told me that it happens because you lack vitamins. So the harvesting you despise, we have, and we could help you recovering."

The General clapped slowly. "Brilliant. I mean it, brilliant speech. But your final point is getting me into war with a guerrilla in exchange for potatoes."

Abraham slammed the desk with both his hands. "TOMATOES! I MEAN TOMATOES, MOTHERFUCKER, AND WE ARE TRYING TO PLANT COFFEE!"

* * *

"Hi girl." Tara hugged her tight, right when she saw her.

"Hey, how are you?"

"Good... I'm sorry, Daryl wanted to come but they wouldn't let him... they don't want men to intimate with women..." Tara laughed

"It's fun. How are things going? What's it like here?"

"Wow, it's strange... it's like they are upset, but onward, but keep making jokes and they look at you with those eyes... part despising you part wanting to tear you apart..."

"That's uplifting."

"I don't know... I think they are drugged or something." Tara said, scared.

"Sure. Do you know what they are going to do to us?" Lux asked

"No idea. But I've heard they are releasing you soon."

"I hope so."

"Civilians, time is almost up." the guard at the door said.

"We are scissoring here, respect!" Lux shouted.

"Ha ha ha damn, you are gross!"

"But you love it. Hey, say hello to the others."

"And do you want me to tell something to..."

"Tell him I know about the paper. And it's cute."

* * *

"We are running short on sugar. We are doing well with the sweet potatoes, and that's about it." Maggie was informing Rick about stock." And the ammo workshop is working really well, we are fast and efficient. I think we shouldn't worry for now."

"Good." he replied, his eyes looking far.

"Rick."

"What?"

"They are fine." her big, bright eyes were fix on him. "I know it."

"They lost Aaron within the first three hours, and it's been two weeks. I can't wait for a month. I need to know."

"We have talked about this a thousand times. There is nothing to know, they are already building a new life, and they will be fine. Just like us. The difference is that now we are safe."

"I understand, but... they are so few."

"But they are the most independent, and the toughest. I fear for Carol, though."

"Yeah, that's another pain on my back."

"We can do nothing about her. Ben didn't want to follow her, and we are very few here too."

"She doesn't want to be found. And I'm not letting Morgan go on his own. He would, I know."

* * *

Lux spent all day in the cell, on her own. She was anxious in case she would be taken to the General, but she knew what to do if things were wrong. She was prepared to die fighting. Fortunately somebody had left a book in the cell, by some Latin American author she didn't know, and it was interesting. She fell asleep a couple of times. Then they brought her the dinner at seven o'clock. It tasted good, some beans with some rice and some spicy something. She asked about her friends but she didn't get a reply. However, there was a note under the plate, with a terrible handwriting.

"I knew you knew, you're smarter than me". She smiled. She read some more, and fell asleep again.

Nobody took her to the General's studio.

The next day began very early. She was woken up at six and given a gray T-shirt and black trousers. They were clean and even smelled good, it was a nice feeling.

"You are being released, but before meeting anyone, you must see the doctor again for your results."

She washed and changed, and they took her to the clinic. This time there was nobody outside or inside except for them two.

"Hi."

"Hi, doctor Who."

He laughed "My name is Pat. Patrick, whatever. Sit down. Well, Lux, I'm glad to say you are okay." he sat down opposite her. "First of all, you have a nice concussion as you did the other day..." he looked at her eyes "and it's healing good. About your tests, you're low on sugar, like everybody this days, but you are coping. And..."

He stopped talking and pulled a weird face to her, like apologetic:

"Congratulations. Or, I'm sorry, as you prefer."

She didn't understand.

"You are pregnant. Basing on your breasts and tummy, less than ten weeks."

"That's not possible, there must be a mistake." Lux replied.

"I double checked, as I always do. You women are always neglecting about it."

"Listen, I can't get pregnant, I had three abortions and I haven't had my period in years." she started shaking. "It just can't happen."

"And are you sure you haven't stained your panties all this time, when you couldn't wash in weeks?" Steve insisted.

She didn't reply.

"And who told you you couldn't have babies?"

More silence.

"Lux, I'll be honest. During this time, I have seen it all as a doctor. I have seen healthy people whose life faded away in seconds, and I have seen life pushing through no matter what. And this is clearly your case, and your baby's. Don't think too much about it."

"Fuck." it finally hit her, and she shut her eyes. "I wanted to think it was not possible."

He tried to speak carefully. "Have you been raped?"

"No. I mean, not recently. It's just... I'm not prepared."

He stood up and cackled. "Girl, you will never be. Just with a glance at your body I can tell you have done everything not to live, yet you are alive. You are alive by accident. You can't help it."

She kept looking at the sheets of the bed next to her.

"Is the father alive?" he asked.

"Yes. He's the guy with wings on his vest. I think you tested him too."

"Him? Fuck my life! Well, he's a tough guy. It would be a shame to waste his legacy."

She smiled.

"Okay, I'm not going to give you advice, and this is your life, not mine. I mean, I can help you get rid of it if you want. But... you are alive, you are healthy, and you are surrounded by good people. I know this is not exactly the best scenario, but I guess you've had it worse in the past."

"Yeah. I... I think I want to have it."

"Well, that's something! Look at you, you're not crying or anything! That's great."

"When will I know... that he is well?"

Patrick frowned. "It will take some time, you must wait, but the worst thing for a baby is a stressed mum."

"Cool."

"Fine. I have more patients now."

She stood up.

"Wait, I can give you vitamins, there are a lot left."

"Do you have to tell someone about this? Like, your commanders and stuff."

"Oh well... If you were staying here for some weeks, yes, I should."

"Okay. I hope not."

"Right. If you... change your mind, and I won't be judgmental about it... I just don't want you to come and steal the abortion pills. You understand? Tell me. I have to keep an eye on you."

"Okay."

"Fine, Lux. See you."

"Bye. And thank you for not being an asshole, it doesn't happen to me usually."

"I see. No problem."

Lux left the clinic excited; nervous, but happy. She didn't want to tell anyone, she didn't want to talk about it, but she felt good.

However, she was so scared to tell Daryl than, for a moment, the best option in her opinion was leaving him and rising the baby on her own.

She was taken to the base and they showed her the bedroom section (the female one, that was), which was already empty, with all the beds made. They gave her back her belongings, except for the guns, and they led her to the canteen. There was nobody there either, because they had already had breakfast. It was just seven in the morning.

Lux expected her friends to be there, but part of her felt better that way. She managed to eat an army ration of something which looked like an oat biscuit and a glass of water. And she ran out to throw it up. And when she got out of the toilet, Daryl grabbed her waist from behind and held her tight against him.

"Good morning baby, I missed you." Daryl greeted, tender.

'Fuck. I feel like crap and I don't know what to tell you'. Lux thought

"Hi. Are you good?" she said.

"Yes, just a bit tired of talking... I will tell you later."

"What are you doing now? I think we should talk."

"I have to go on making plans with these guys... we are going back to Alexandria tomorrow, they are escorting us. Why?"

"Good. Nothing."

He noticed she was hiding something big. "What is wrong?"

"I don't know, it's just... Hell, I missed you." She broke down in tears and he held her.

"It's fine, it's gonna be fine. Hey... It's all over now, don't worry. I gotta go now, but I'll leave you with the girls, okay?"

"Hi Lux, it's great to see you!" Rosita cheered.

"Hi Rosa!"

"I'll see you tonight, I hope." he kissed her.

"Bye."

"How was it?" Rosita asked. "You don't look good."

"Don't worry, the doctor says I'm fine." Lux looked away. "I was quite okay, just bored."

"Well, we are good, but everybody is tense here. Have the boys told you about the conversations they had with the General?"

"Daryl has told me we are going back."

"Yes, we are. And that's it". Rosita explained. "We are going to be left alone there, they are not going to mess with Negan. But I think they are hiding something. I think they are being threatened too, but they are afraid to confront them."

"The National Guard is afraid of fighting against a bunch of rednecks."

"The National Guard are now a bunch of pussies. But the worst thing is they are not together in this, some of them want to fight with us."

"And what is wrong about it? We need help."

"The ones who want to fight will be considered rebels and executed. That's how they do things here." Rosita pointed out. "One soldier told me."

"Wow, you got to talk with them?"

"Well, the classic post sex letting go."

Lux laughed "That's my girl!"

"Here, this is the lady's pavilion. That's why it smells better."

Lux greeted all of them and she started to feel better again.

* * *

"Well then, what are you going to do finally?" Abraham asked.

"I've been thinking... and this is my last word on this, we are not confronting them." The General replied. "We take you there, and the sight of us there should keep them away for a while."

"So we're fucked again." Daryl replied

"Hey, cheer up, it's past the time they gave you to attack Alexandria, so perhaps they will leave you alone."

"That's absurd and you know it." Heath replied.

"Look, I'm not giving you more explanations." The General insisted. "You will leave tomorrow morning, and be grateful we don't serve your heads to Negan on a silver tray, because we might as well do it to avoid problems."

"I thought you were living a fucking honey moon with them." Abraham observed.

"Everyone is threatened by them, that's it."

"Then you are a bunch of cowards and you deserve Hell." Daryl said.

"Listen, creep. I don't care about your life, you could fall dead before me, you could get chewed by a walker right now and I wouldn't stutter. So don't expect me to do any effort to keep you alive. And regarding myself, I'm tired. I'm done. I will keep the laboratory working as long as I can, but I'm not starting a fight with those terrorists. It's not worth it."

"Well then. This is goodbye." Abraham shook the General's hand, looking straight in his eye. "I just hope you live to see the mistake you've made. And we live too."

That afternoon the group felt hopeful and hopeless at the same time. They wanted to go back home and see their family, but they knew that by coming back, they were exposing them.

By seven o'clock they had had dinner, and were chilling at the tiny garden. All of them were together again for the first time in three days, but no one spoke. Daryl didn't stop holding Lux but she didn't dare to tell him what she was hiding. She knew she would eventually do it, but she didn't know how. She just hoped nobody noticed ahead.

At seven thirty they heard a siren, screams, and they ran towards the building where they just had dinner. Nobody told them what was happening, or what to do. They closed the door of the canteen and waited. None of them was allowed to hold guns. Then, Abraham dared to look out of the window, to the American flag they had in the center of the base: three soldiers were hanging down a body. The flag was covered in blood. There were soldiers and dogs and the helicopter, looking for someone. The General was weeping at the base of the flag. Steve was his son. He was not even a soldier, his father had hid him there when the walkers started rising. When they laid him on the ground, he was already transforming. His father put him down with a shot.

They waited. Some minutes later a sergeant opened the door.

"The General wants to talk to you."

"I knew." Abraham replied. "tell him we are sorry. And tell him we won't talk if we can't take our women with us."

"I don't think he cares about that anymore."

All of them headed to his studio. The base was in complete silence.

* * *

"They've been here. That's all I'm saying." Glenn said, concerned.

He had seen car tracks, fag ends and other evidences that some people had been watching the fences the night before.

"Well, that's what we were expecting, right?" Rick replied. "We did what we did exactly for this. They didn't find what they were looking for, and they left."

"But they didn't tell us anything, they were spying on us." Glenn replied.

"They have been doing it for months." Rick was trying to hide his fear. "Now they should leave us alone for some time."

"No. They won't." Michonne said. "It's suspicious that the other group left, it means we knew about this and they will get mad, and we knew this would happen."

"We had no choice." Rick said.

"I know." Michonne replied. "I'm not saying we did, I'm just pointing facts."

"That's it. We are again in danger, and we are alone." Glenn agreed.

"No, we are not!" Maggie screamed, furious. "come on, it's us! Are we giving in now?"

"We are not, we are giving them what they want, which is the third part of what we have, and we know they are angry because we knew about this." Michonne responded. "We are not giving in, we are expecting the worst."

"There is hope, they could come back earlier." Rick wondered. "The group could be here any minute."

"That's not gonna happen, you were very clear." Michonne said. "One month away at least, and be prepared to settle their own camp."

"I know what I said, but I know them too, and they are not going to do as I said." Rick said. "I can feel it."

* * *

The General was present in the meeting at his studio, even though he was unable to speak. The Major spoke on his behalf, as he knew what he wanted to do.

"Let's have a fresh start. Welcome." The Major unfolded a huge map over the desk, and even on another table beside it, placed for the occasion. "This is the outlook."

They saw a map of Virginia, part of New York and North Carolina, sparkled with colored spots.

"The red spots are the biggest concentrations of walkers, either in the open air or hidden in buildings. We started to exterminate them but we... we got tired. The green ones are human settlements, more or less pacific. Let's say they are protective and territorial, but not aggressive."

"And what are all those black spots?" Lux asked.

"Gangs." Major Gordon Ramsey looked at Lux in the eye, trying to be kind "We consider gangs the groups of violent subjects in a number larger than 20. The rest are simply not represented. Negan, or the Survivors, as they call themselves, are one of the biggest gangs, maybe the biggest in this state. More than 200, less than... who knows. The other groups are very diverse: they range from simple robbers to satanic sects, apocalyptic militia, people traders, cannibals and child rapists. To begin with."

"And you are not doing anything about it." Carol gulped.

"We can't. You won't believe it but we can't. We don't have the satellites, the Internet, the long wave radios, all the things we used to communicate in ambush wars in Middle East. We don't have batteries for the infra red watching at night. And we would need all of that. We are not the only ones digging mines out there. If we break in a camp, and there are twenty soldiers, and some of them get killed and the others have to split in the battle, then there will be groups of two or three boys completely alone."

"So you are just like us" Daryl joked "Too bad."

"I had that coming. Well, let's go straight to the point. We are doing this. And we need you. You know what we have, and I'm telling you that you can count with around fifty soldiers."

"How many are you, overall?" Abraham asked

"Here, not many more. And we can't expect New York to send people. As the General told you, things there are worse. But now you have to tell me what you can bring to the deal."

"There are easy 15 of us perfectly trained in battle, long and short distance, ambush, open air, night and day." Abraham reported. "And around twenty more who can kick ass with a bit of help. And then there is Hilltop, put it another ten."

"How many can you put on the front line right now?" Gordon asked.

"Us all, except Carol. Plus Rick. And there are a couple of ladies back in Alexandria who would get mad if we didn't count on them."

"You are not counting on Maggie." Lux pointed.

"Of course I'm not!" he glanced at her as if she was making a terrible mistake.

"You should count on her, just saying."

"Right. Not many but fierce, as you said." Gordon replied. "What are their abilities? How would you distribute them?"

"We have four good snipers: this lady here, Maggie, Sasha , if she got recovered from an injure, and Rosita; they could do many more things, but they are better for that. Daryl, Rick and me with automatics. And the rest with shotguns and rifles. Actually Daryl can serve for everything, you can put him all over the place."

"Thanks." he replied, flattered.

"You're pretty welcome."

"Now, for something delicate. Do you have to protect many... defenseless people?"

No one answered. After some time, Tara said:

"Four. We have four people who can't defend themselves."

All of them started making figures in silence. Judith, Carl? He was already growing up, but not so fast. Enid... and Denise?

"Good. It's not hard to handle, it's about concentrating them and not doing it inside the church."

"Why?" Lux asked.

"They are the classic places to hide. And they burn up fast, they are wooden."

"You are taking for granted that Alexandria is the battlefield." Rosita remarked. "and that's exactly why we were expelled, to protect it. We can't take the battle there."

"I'm just saying. Don't hide people in the church, ever. And if you hide people, tell us where. Please. You have to help us help you."

"Fine. So how are we doing it?" Daryl was getting impatient. "Are we still going back tomorrow? Because we should talk to Rick right away, before going ahead with the plan."

"That's a very important issue." Major Gordon admitted. "I don't know what to do, I would like to have him here. The closest we can do is meeting halfway, to not alert Negan. But there is no way to inform him."

"We can use the bullet workshop." Heath said. "I think even the radio works from there to Alexandria."

"It's fine for a meeting, but nothing more, we would be going to sleep at Alexandria anyway." Abraham pointed "There's not even room for talking, all of us."

"We are not going to go straight to Alexandria. Not now, it's too soon." Daryl said.

"Gentlemen, sorry for messing into the conversation, but I think the solution is simple." Carol dared to give her perspective. "We must split. I know you won't like it, but it's the only option. One car straight to Alexandria to take half of us there and pick Rick, and the rest stay at the workshop for now. And then, we'll see. But we could count on some backup at the community already."

"Well, that's brilliant. Thank you." the Major smiled at her.

"I don't like the idea of splitting, but as you said, we have some backup now, and that is an upgrade." Abraham replied.

"Right, so... I have a surprise for you. You can start packing, because..." he checked the time "it's nine o'clock... and you are leaving this place at eleven. This new... circumstance we've had this evening is making us rush. See you in a minute."

"Did you catch the ones who did it?" Tara inquired.

"Not at all." Gordon replied, upset. "So let's go."

All of them went out. Daryl was revising the map, in search of details he might have missed. Lux was waiting for him.

"And by the way, congratulations!" the Major smirked.

Lux panicked.

"What?" Daryl inquired, puzzled.

"Oh. Right. You didn't know. I... I'm sorry." he patted Lux's back. "He would have found out anyway."

"And you are lecturing us on secret missions." she closed her eyes and clenched her fists. "Christ."

Gordon left the room.

Daryl breathed deeply. "What is he talking about?"

"Please don't get mad..." Lux begged "I didn't know how to tell you..."

"I'm not getting mad." he came closer to her. "But I want you to tell me."

"I... I got one in the oven." she giggled, nervously.

He held her hands. "Are you for real?"

"Yeah, I just found out. I promise I thought I couldn't... I wasn't looking for it."

"Do you want to have it?"

"Yes."

He sat on a chair, still holding her hands. "Then we will have it. But you are aware some things are gonna change, aren't you?"

"Yeah. But I'm not locking in at home."

"I know." He gazed at her, serious. "But you're not going on the front line."

"You wouldn't let me even before, when you didn't know about this."

"You are right." he held her tight, his head against her body. "Now I am really scared."

"Now you really have something worth fighting for. And you're coming back alive." she took his face on his hands and kissed his lips.

* * *

They left the base even earlier than expected, and the troop chose a shortcut they had opened across the mountains; the trip lasted seven long hours. Lux had never traveled at night for such a long distance since everything ended. She was on a vehicle that had belonged to the Marines long ago (that's why some people who saw it made up the theory about the Marines), which the National Guard borrowed and fortified. It was absolutely customized on the outside to serve as a tank. They had removed all the seats so it had more room for supplies, ammo and wounded soldiers. It was almost empty now, so they had brought blankets and one mattress for the people to be a bit comfortable. Daryl had insisted, nobody knew why. He was the copilot. Abraham, Carol and Heath came on the Corolla, behind them.

Lux was between Tara and Rosita, half asleep, half aware. There were twelve soldiers around them. The night was pitch dark, new Moon, cloudy and cold. Suddenly the noises were more clear, the walkers moaning near and far, and many other things she couldn't identify. The group was not allowed to step out of the vehicle unless asked, so every time they found walkers or other obstacles they had to wait, blind and deaf. They heard shots a couple of times, during those stops, but they were against living ones. Nobody told them anything and they didn't ask either.

Eventually they arrived at the bullet workshop, by coincidence at the time of changing shifts early in the morning.

And there was Rick, against all odds. Pointing at them with a machine gun.

"Hey, it's fine." Daryl came out, hands up. "Calm down, we bring the cavalry."

"I need something more."

"They are free, I promise." Gordon began, putting his rifle on the ground. "We are the National Guard, which is all that's left of the United States Army. We are escorting them back because there is no further place to go. We come in peace. And we need you."

Rick put down his gun and told Ron and Paul Rovia to do the same.

"Welcome, then."

All of them started coming out. They were tired but happy to be back.

"Hey Carol, long time no see." Rick held her without saying nothing more.

"Nice to see you." she was really happy.

They all started telling the news and planning how to organize themselves. Daryl took Lux apart.

"You are going with them to Alexandria, for now."

"No!" she whined "I told you, I'm not staying at home, I'm not Maggie!"

"Don't you talk about her like that. You know she's not a housewife, she can be as fierce as you. And I bet you're not excited to sleep on the floor."

She pouted. "And when are you coming back?"

"I don't think I am, for as long as things don't get better." He took her backpack to the Corolla. "I will bring you here when I need you."

"You are pimping me big time."

"And you love it."

"Yes." she put her arms around his neck. "Just bring me soon, Okay? Please."

"It will be sooner than you think." he kissed her forehead. "Go to sleep. You both."

She smiled. "Just don't tell anyone, Okay? I'll do it later."

"Sure. See you."


	17. Chapter 17

**Based on season 6, with a new female character, using her POV. Warning for explicit language and violence, mentions of sexual abuse and suicide.**

Tara, Carol and Lux and Heath were heading to Alexandria, with a soldier driving the Corolla. Lux fell asleep right away.

Daryl entered the workshop and greeted the others.

"Well... this is definitely something new." Rick was trying to adjust. "As I said, there is evidence that Negan men approached our community, thought they did nothing. Which means they knew you were out. Which is bad."

"So... What are you thinking now?" Abraham asked "We are a lot of people ready to fight. This should change things..."

"Do you want me to say we should attack the Saviours, is that it?" Rick asked him.

"Totally". Gordon admitted. "I know what you think, it's dangerous, and you are putting your people at risk. But, honestly, they are in risk already."

Rick sighed, and scratched his beard. His head was thinking so fast that he had it hard to speak.

"You are right". Rick said, finally. "I have no other choice. Now, we are together in this. I'm still in charge of the people in Alexandria, but I need you all to set this plan."

"Let's set a troop, and then we decide when and where to put it." Abraham started. "I say Daryl, Rick, Sasha, Rosita, Heath, Glenn, Lux and me. Here tomorrow."

"Not Lux, not tomorrow." Daryl responded.

"Why?" Rick asked.

"Because she..." he scratched his head, awkward "she is preggers."

Abraham patted him in the back so hard that he stumbled.

"Oh okay," Rick whined "anything else?"

"Bring Michonne." Daryl said.

"Really? You just hid away your woman and you ask me to bring mine?"

"Hey, it's totally different, and I didn't hide her away, I'm just saying she won't be in the first squadron. She is a sniper and she will go for it, but she needs a rest before. Do you know she was beaten and dragged in the mud a couple of days ago? Give her a break."

"Right." Rick began again. "So then, Sasha, Glenn, Heath, Michonne and three volunteers from Alexandria will be here. Who can you bring from Hilltop, Jesus?"

He rose his brows, stressed. "Oh well, I'm reckoning ten men right away. Ready to shoot."

"Fine." Rick said. "Now, Gordon, enlighten us. Who and what can we account on?"

"Seventy men, machine guns, half of our ammo, rocket launchers. One tank."

"That's a lot." Rick observed, suspicious. "Why?"

"Because we have waited too long, and we are going big. I say we attack their base near the salt mine and the one in the Big lake, at once. Right at the same time."

"How many more forts do they have?"

"Three, smaller. And they would be left without backup, communication and guide if we defeated the other two."

"I second that." Rick said. "Anybody disagrees?"

Nobody replied.

"What about Alexandria?" Rosita asked.

"It should be locked down." Gordon answered "Curfew, everybody inside their houses, better not concentrated. Let's put it... five points, secured, with two soldiers each."

"I don't think it's a good idea." Rick replied.

"I know. You are thinking they must be together, but you are thinking of fear, not safety. If the saviors reach one house, they will only find a few people. If they find THE house, they will find them all."

Rick swallowed saliva and nodded. "Right. Well, it's almost time for the next shift. I'm staying. Ron, bring the ones we have said, you are taking the marine car and some soldiers with you. Gordon, we must make the first decision: Are we attacking tomorrow?"

"No, we need a long time to plan, and your people need to rest. We are settling a camp nearby. I'll bring you some food, let's dinner."

* * *

Lux woke up when they arrived at Alexandria. She took her backpack and went to the house they had been assigned, and opened the windows. Then she went to the infirmary to tell Denise about her news. She congratulated her, but Lux saw she was in an awful mood. Denise made a calendar to organize the revisions. Lux left and saw Tara waiting to enter, very upset.

Then she went to the palsy for some supplies for dinner, and visited Aaron's boyfriend.

"Hi. I'm very sorry."

"It's fine, Ron told us." he held her. "Do you want to come in? I'll make some tea."

"Thank you."

"He used to talk a lot about you. He liked you, Lux. He said you were like Stevie Nicks but in a ruthless killer way."

"Ha ha ha I liked him too, he was so fun and clever." She went emotional. "He was always really kind to me."

"I want to show you something." He brought some garments. "He wanted to give you these to fix. It's a t-shirt and a pair of old jeans, both have some holes."

"Oh, okay, I can fix them for you."

"No, I want you to have them. Aaron was taller than me, so they wouldn't fit me anyway" he winked at her "I want you to recycle them, I'm sure you can transform them into something new. And sexy! That's what he would have told you."

"Oh, thank you, thank you very much. I'll make a good use of them."

Lux farewelled him and went home. She was exhausted, but managed to chop some tomatoes and cheese from Hilltop for dinner. She filled the tube and lit up a cigar. Then she realized it was bad for the baby and lit it off. She kept playing with it between her fingers, while having a bath, trying not to think at all.

Someone knocked her door at nine.

"Hi" Tara said. "Can I come in?"

"Course! What happened?"

"Oh... well, congratulations and all, it's fantastic. I... can I stay here for he night? Denise just dumped me. Like, she lets me sleep at the infirmary, but I can't."

"Oh, I'm really sorry! Sure, you can take the small bedroom. I'm glad to have a roommate. Do you wanna talk?"

"She was really lame with me." she sobbed "She said she regrets what we did... like she was letting herself go and now she feels confused... That she tried to love me but she can't."

"Wow, that's awful. I don't know, relations begin and end, but saying you regret having sex is just... she's a bitch, first class."

"Thank you. I didn't know she had such prejudices."

"Yeah right? She didn't mention them while you were eating her out."

"Oh god, it's true, she laughed hard. "You're so gross".

"You can sleep here, it's fine. Daryl won't come back for now."

"How are you?"

"I don't know, I'm awkward. It's really hard to get used to something I avoided so many times and I was sure it wouldn't happen no more... but I'm happy to be pregnant, because it's his. But now we are going to war..."

"It sucks. I mean, all this together. But I don't think there is a completely safe place now. Maybe this is the best scenario."

"Yes... Look, I'm exhausted, and I think we are gonna have a long day tomorrow, even if we have one more day before we go. I'm next door, if you want to talk, anyway I don't think I'll sleep all night straight."

"Thank you, thank you very much."

"I'll look for towels." Lux led her upstairs. "You have your rucksack, right? I haven't got more clean sheets."

"Yes. Just..."

"What?"

"Denise said you are not going to have a healthy baby. She says you've lived too fast."

Lux stopped on the stairs and looked at her. "We should just burn down the infirmary with her inside."

* * *

"Okay guys... just so you know, this is not a party." Rick was trying to calm down the post dinner lounge at the camp.

"Good. This is not a party." Daryl replied, inebriated. "This is Rosita. This is a beer."

"Damn. I already lost you." Rick stood up.

"Christ, are you really going to be a father?" Rosita whined "How are you going to...? Well, you're not going to. Men never bring up children."

"Rick did. Does. Duzzzz."

"Rick is different. You are... stinky. I don't know how Lux puts up with you."

"She stinks too." he whispered. "That's her secret. All due respect."

One vehicle approached the camp and all them tried to hide. It was the Marine tank.

"Good night ladies and gentlemen, here comes the night shift." Michonne came out of the tank. "The colonel told us to come earlier." she greeted Rick and came inside the workshop.

"Where is Glenn?" Abraham asked.

"Buying some guts, that he lost." Heath replied. "He is coming tomorrow evening, we reckon."

"And how is my gazelle?" Abraham held Sasha.

"Sober, so I don't find you so attractive." she joked.

"Now I'm gonna throw up big time, and this is just my third beer." Rosita whined

"He's stupid." Daryl said. "Like Sasha is hot and all... but you are better. I ship you both."

"Thanks, but stop talking." Rosita responded. "At all. Go to sleep."

"You are clever. And you are right."

Daryl took his backpack and came inside the workshop. He went to his place and sat down. He couldn't coordinate well enough to spread his rucksack and he fell asleep.

He woke up with Michonne looking at him.

"What... what are you doing here?" he asked, dizzy.

"I don't want to talk, I don't want to drink." She sat by his side. "And I'm the only one."

She wasn't wearing her hair band and her dreads came down framing her face. He had barely ever seen her so beautiful.

"But Great Chief Rick the Stick doesn't drink either, right?"

"He just started a burping contest."

He giggled "that's my boy."

"I was thinking..."

"Don't start another big conversation, because I'm not joining you."

"I said I was thinking, not talking."

She kissed him. It was not a French kiss, nor just a kiss on the lips; it was the kind of kiss that presses your lips, tries to open them, and then tries to pull them, and could get angels aroused. She held his neck, just below the skull, so he wouldn't escape.

"Fuck." he said.

"Meh." she ranted. "You're not such a good lover."

"Not if you catch me like this."

"What, do you want another chance?"

"No."

"Sure?"

He opened his eyes as wide as he could. "No. And please to go sleep on the other side of the room."

"I scared you." she winked at him. "That was my second goal. Good night."

* * *

"Hey..." Tara whispered, in the middle of the dark.

"W... what?" Lux was sweating profusely, moaning indistinct words.

"You had a nightmare."

"What are you doing here?" she asked, confused.

"You were screaming."

"Fuck... what time is it?"

"It's four AM. And thanks for asking, I already slept a bit."

"I'm sorry."

"What was it? It must have been really scary."

"I was alone, in the woods... my baby was dead. It had already transformed, but he was still in my womb. He was eating me from the inside."

Tara leaned backwards, appalled. She would like to tell her that everything would be fine, that it was just not possible, that Lux had nothing to worry about. But she couldn't. She just kept sitting beside her.

"Do you want me to sleep with you?" Tara asked, after a long while.

"Please." Lux begged, without looking at her.

"I won't touch you, I promise." Tara said, tucking in beside her.

"Girl, I'm aware I'm no target right now. Thanks, good night."

* * *

The seventy soldiers and their five big vehicles arrived at ten o'clock. They brought heavy duty: machine guns, uzis, AK, and a thousand pistols. Most of the guns were not American.

They settled on the camp where the previous ones were, and started planning ahead. Gordon began talking with Rick very early.

"I think it's better to split both groups." Rick pointed "People from Hilltop are not so used to fight, so they will need more support from you. And we have to think about how to protect both communities while the battle takes place."

"Hilltop is easier to protect." Gordon agreed. "The problem with Alexandria is it hasn't got a proper shape, it's big and the houses are like scattered so the it's hard to see it as a whole. You made a good job with the towers though."

"Well so... are we assigning missions?" Rick asked.

"I think so." Gordon revised the maps and the notes he had been taking.

"By the way, I haven't seen the General at all, is he coming this evening?" Rick asked.

"No, we have brought everyone from the base, that is the ones who were not staying there to watch. The truth is... the General blew his head off last night. I don't blame him."

"Okay. Well, according to what I heard from the guys, I won't regret not meeting him."

"No you won't. Talking missions... I think we both can prepare to break in the Big Lake one." Gordon went on. "It's the biggest, and also the hardest to set, but we have good soldiers. Both you and me."

"So, are we going tomorrow?"

"Are your people ready?"

"I don't even know how many I'm going to get." Rick admitted. "Glenn said Maggie would try and convince as many as possible, so she also has to protect less people there."

"So she's not coming."

"He won't let her."

"Mmmhm. And is she the kind of woman who has to be allowed to do stuff?" Gordon asked. "Because I think you don't have any of those."

"I haven't thought of that." Rick smiled "Yes, she is probably coming."

* * *

"Hi Daryl!" Abraham greeted. "Can I talk to you for a second?"

"I guess." he was oiling his crossbow.

"How are you?"

"Er... are we talking feelings here?"

"No shit... I mean... You seem to be coping well with all this."

"All this." Daryl mocked.

"You know... having a baby."

"Oh no, I'm not going to talk about that."

"I don't want you to open your heart, it's just... I don't know, I think it's great."

"Man, I said I'm not talking about it because I'm not." Daryl insisted. "It's great but two days ago I would laugh in your face if you just asked me. I'm trying to cope. I didn't want it, she didn't want it. We had entire nights non stop for hours, and then bitching about how lucky we were not having to worry about that. Like, I don't even know how to deal with this."

"I'm sorry. I was... I am thinking of talking this with Sasha."

"You're kidding me. So soon?"

"It's the end of the world."

"You people should stop using that for everything. Look: I'm not telling you what to do, just... enjoy what you have. Trust me, you'll miss it. I didn't want Lux to be here last night because I don't know what to tell her. I can't stop thinking of all the things that she won't be able to do anymore, that we won't do when he is born. Fuck, I'm not Rick! And even then, having a whole tribe looking after the baby, who would I trust to do that? Do you think I would leave him with Enid?"

"How come you talk like it's gonna be a boy?"

"Because it will." Daryl's voice started to crack. "And don't get me started with the walkers and the gangs, it makes me sick. When she told me about it, I was looking at the map. That damn map stuffed with cannibals and psycho killers and pedophiles. It makes me sick to think of having a child in this world. So don't ask me."

"Dude." he patted his shoulder. "I didn't know you had so much inside."

"If it weren't for... shit. Don't ever tell her this, but if it weren't for all the times she has done it... I would ask her to get rid of it."

"No way! That's murdering your own son."

"It is. Quick and merciful. Much better than all he is going to face when he pops out."

"Damn. I'm sorry, I didn't want you to feel so bad."

"I was feeling like crap already."

"I just hope things are good for you... your family."

"Thanks, whatever. I gotta go in case Rick needs me. See you around."

* * *

Lux went to the infirmary in the morning, and when she left she heard Maggie and Glenn having a big quarrel at home. Maggie left the house and stumbled upon her.

"Hi! Hey, glad to see you."

"Hi... are you guys well?"

"Yeah, don't worry, it's just... he doesn't want me to go with you."

"I understand him. And I understand you."

"Thanks. By the way, congratulations! Welcome to the club." Maggie tried to high five her.

"Yeah well... I'm not having a cheerful start in that. I want to have it, but I don't know how."

"Well..." Maggie came down the stairs. "I didn't know how to do it either, but I just do."

"But you wanted it. I heard you talking you were looking forward for it."

"Yeah, but the moment I found out... it felt weird. I was really happy, but I knew that people would be weird about it, you know? I mean, I'm like four or five months already, and guys are still like "wow, you must be crazy!" or "why bother, if there is no hope" and things like that."

"People are shit, mostly. But I think you'll be a great mum."

"Thank you. You'll be good too, don't worry about that."

"Well, I don't trust myself too much you know... I never liked children, I never babysat one before Judith... I can't even sing lullabies or songs any child should listen to" Lux laughed.

"Well, there are many kinds of mums. You should only care about your health for now, and then... I have a theory, trying to put it simple: children need two things in life, love and education. You will give him all your love, I'm sure... and then... we all can educate him." Maggie giggled.

"You mean bitch! You are right. Maybe it's about simple life."

"I'll be here, okay? I know we don't talk much, but now we can share a lot of things: vomit, mood swings, constipation..."

"Fuck, I had not thought of that, ew!"

"Yes, that's a bummer, I'm looking forward to it."

"So, are you coming with us?"

"I gave Glenn a choice: I could either go with you or go to help people in Hilltop. He knows the boss there so... I'm going with you."

"You are a brilliant strategist, my dear. It will be great to have you there." she pulled a fist bump and Maggie responded. "When are we leaving?"

"Around eight, I guess. How is Tara?"

"Huh... she's at the library... I hid every depressing book. She's awful. But she's eager to chop heads off, which is good. We gotta make use of that. What about Carol?"

"Well... Ben let her in again... she's embarrassed but happy to be back. Thank you."

"I didn't do anything but pointing out she would ruin my life. But hey, it worked."

"Yes, it was a clever move. Are you going to the armory?"

"Yes, I have to get my little baby and the rifle."

"Rick said they have rifles there, better than ours."

"Oh, okay. Do you want me to bring anything?"

"No, tell them to have our guns prepared, we'll be there in a couple of hours."

"Good. See ya at the gates then."

"Fine. Bye!"

* * *

"So... is there anything you would like to ask, before we go wild in there?" Gordon asked, during a brief meeting with the civilians in the afternoon.

"Have you done this before?" Sasha asked.

"Well... we gave a try long ago, against other groups. Smaller groups. And never beside civilians."

"And why are you doing it now?" Abraham asked.

"Because... the General doesn't command anymore." Gordon explained. "Look, I'm not doing this for sympathy, it's because you are good at this and we need your help. Rick told me about what you did at the prison and in Terminus and let's be honest, we could never do something like that with so few casualties. It's hard to command a troop like he did. We have not been very successful in missions like those. So that's why you are here, because you are the best."

"Thanks." Rick said.

"Anything else?"

"Have you thought of how are you placing us tomorrow?" Daryl asked.

"Yes, but don't worry, you will have a say on that. We are thinking of setting a perimeter and breaking in as fast as possible, but we will talk about that tonight."

"Okay."

Nobody said anything.

"What about... well, it's not exactly related to the mission, but... how is the lab going?" Sasha asked "I know that it's secret and all, but I'm just curious about whether you are making any progress."

Gordon sighed deeply. "There's none. I have to speak truth here, because it's important and it's sort of the reason our base stands still... the General got obsessed about it and it's not working. The experiments are horrid, the subjects... suffer a lot, and the results are poor. It's not worth the process if you ask me. We have been working on rats, and they are doing sort of well, we can adjust the dose to inject in living ones and they don't come back after dying, that's true. And then, if you inject it in dead humans, they don't usually transform. But no results on living ones, better said, there are catastrophic ones. It's painful to watch. When we try it on humans that have just been bitten, they don't transform immediately, but they start suffering symptoms of something close to ebola, and they fall in a comma. And then, it's like the walkers you can see out there... but they are aware of themselves. They know. It's atrocious. And it's similar when done on healthy humans."

"Fuck." Abraham replied. "And is there any hope, any chance?"

"We are thinking of stopping the experiments, at least this "line" that our scientist is following, because he also thinks it's nonsense. He's the only one remaining, he didn't even belong in the first lab team that started this. And then, we should consider that this won't get anywhere if we just "cure" corpses, because it would mean following everyone with the formula in case they die. Because the "vaccine" is clearly not working. And then... of course, not even talk about testing it on pregnant women."

"But of course, it would be terrible..."Abraham replied "and anyway there is no need, it's enough to vaccinate the baby when it's born, right?"

"No." Gordon replied.

There was a freezing silence.

"Er... babies can die before being born." Sasha explained. "So they can transform before being born."

"Holy mother of God." Abraham trembled. "Don't tell Maggie or Lux."

"They already know." Michonne said. "Women always know."

Daryl left the room. Nobody followed him.

* * *

"Hi Carol." Lux was standing at her door, showing the pink blouse she had made for her.

"Hey, it's great! I love the color, where did you take it from?"

"Er... I don't know exactly, there was a pile of things dumped behind the palsy, I think this was a nightgown. Try it on, but I think it will fit you, you are slim."

"Sure." she smiled. "Thank you so much, come in."

"Truth is... I only passed by to say goodbye, I have some stuff to do before leaving."

"Oh, I see. Well, congratulations! Maggie just told me, it's great." She kissed her cheek.

"Yeah right... I don't know, I don't know how to... because it's not just about me... Daryl doesn't look like a family man. This is like too much for us."

"Well, you should know something: when I met him, he tried to help me finding my little child. My sweet darling. He was the only one to worry about me, or the one who worried the most. So, he has always been a family man to me."

"Oh. I... I didn't know. Did you find her?"

She nodded. "Yes, but it was too late. "Her light blue eyes shined bright in sorrow."

"I'm sorry." she breathed hard. "I gotta leave. See you later." she hugged her.

"See you my dear. Take care."

* * *

The trip back to the workshop was hard. Lux travelled with Glenn, Maggie, Tara, and the other volunteers from Alexandria, on a military vehicle that had been brought that afternoon. They were escorted by ten soldiers. When they left Alexandria the sun was setting, and the trip lasted for four long hours. Lux fell asleep again, as if he body knew she wouldn't have a chance to rest in a long time.

"Rick, you copy? It's Maggie. We are approaching."

"Good, leave the vehicle at the bridge, and come on foot. It's safer, there are too many already close to here. Hurry up."

"Copy."

Lux heard loads of walkers on the way there, probably attracted by all the noise the cars had been making the latest days. They only stopped three times, but the soldiers had a hard time eliminating the walkers that were wandering on the road. It was more and more dangerous every time.

They arrived at the point Rick said, and left the vehicle. They picked their bags and started walking towards the workshop, quickly.

"We could use some torches." Tara said, taking Lux's hand.

"It's very dangerous." Ethan, one of the youngest soldiers, said. "We could attract the walkers."

"The night is not so dark." Lux replied. "Hurry up and don't think about it."

Lux stepped on something, she didn't know neither wanted to know what it was, but she tripped. She wasn't the only one, the soldier before her fell on the ground. She stood up and tried to help him, and lost track of the group. They were completely surrounded by walkers. She thought fast and took Aaron's raincoat from her backpack. She put it on despite the heat, to avoid getting bitten, and tried to take Steve out of a poodle of guts, but when he saw his face, she realized he had been bitten. She then heard shots and screams, stabbed the soldier in his face and knelt down, ready to fight.

Back at the workshop, the group heard the shots and stood alert.

"Hi! Good night." Glenn said. He entered with Maggie and four soldiers.

"Where are the others?" Rick asked.

"They are coming behind." Maggie replied." There are a lot of walkers, but they will be fine.

Another four soldiers arrived with the volunteers.

"Where is Lux?" Ethan asked.

"I thought she was with you, or the guy behind her." Tara replied.

There we more shots.

Daryl emerged from his waiting spot in a corner and shouted in grief:

"Is it so hard to bring her safe?!" he confronted the soldiers, kicking a chair near them. "Are you guys able to lose sight of a fair girl in the dark?!" he pushed Ethan. "I'll find her myself!"

He headed to the door, fuming and loading his rifle, and there she was, staring at him with a scared glance. She had just arrived with the last remaining soldier of the group.

"Calm your tits, dude" she stuttered. "I'm here."

He tried to hold her, but she stepped backwards. She had never seen him acting so aggressive.

"I'm sorry guys," she said to the soldiers "Steve fell."

"Well, let's begin with duty." Rick said "I hope you are fresh."

He and Gordon brought a map and spread it on the floor. It was the best that the National Guard could draw, following what they knew of the base that Negan people had in the Big Lake.

"We are sure of the placement of this complex, we are sure of the shape, the watching towers, where are the most important buildings, the armory and the antennae. We are not sure of the placement of the other buildings, the gates and the communication center." Gordon pointed.

"That's a lot, actually." Rick observed. "We have been looking at this all day, and we have decided to address it in layers: first we will cut communication and deactivate the electric fence, then the gates, and meanwhile the people in the perimeter will be assuring it from near to far, in a spiral. And then we enter the buildings and break fire."

"How many people do you need to do that?" Abraham asked.

"We are saving twenty soldiers for protecting Alexandria, which leaves fifty for this; fifteen for Hilltop, makes it thirty five, plus us, fifty again."

"That's a troop." Sasha asked. "Do you really need so many?"

"Totally. We are counting with ten for the perimeter, so there are enough to watch the outskirts, and then it's forty to break in and split inside the different places, and have cover fire. A lot.

"But how many are they?" Lux asked.

"Fifty, inside the enclosure." Rick answered. "At least. Even if we caught them in their sleep, which gives us six hours to go there before they wake up, we don't know what we will find."

"You are placing a lot of people on the ground." Sasha said. "Where are the snipers going?"

"To the towers." Gordon replied. "You wait until the guards are down, and climb them. That way you can cover us too."

"That is a waste of people and ammo." Lux muttered.

"What?" Gordon grunted.

"Permission to rant, sir." she came closer. "I mean, you are underusing your snipers. You have good places to put them to observe before the infantry enters, and also to cover it."

"Where?" Rick requested.

"On the roofs." She bent down. "We have the exact placement of the most important buildings, so we can choose the ones closest to the fence. We know for sure that the roofs are gonna be lower than the fences. You said the second thing you are going to do is deactivating the fence, so there is the possibility of climbing it from the outside, drop to the roofs, and tell you by walkie where the bad guys are. We cover you when you come, and then we jump down and go for the towers."

"That's the hell of a plan, I must admit." Gordon said. "Do you even think you can do that?"

"I've done it, sir. I was lighter but also weaker then."

"You never told me you enrolled on a mission." Rick wondered.

"It wasn't a mission." she replied, embarrassed. "We were stealing food."

Daryl didn't say anything, he just stared at her from the other side of the circle, his arms crossed.

"Did you succeed?" Gordon asked.

"No. We got caught. But we were able to escape, and all of us survived."

"Well, that's saying something." Daryl said, to support her.

"All I'm saying" she continued "is that we could be saving power to protect Alexandria. We need it."

"You know," Sasha said "the girl is totally right. I could do that. Rosita can do that."

"I'm going with the people in the perimeter." Maggie added. "but I'm sure it can work. Women climb better, it's a fact."

"Well then." Rick said "If Gordon agrees, it is set."

"If it works, I'll promote you for colonel, I promise." Gordon joked.

"Now, for the battle on the ground." Abraham knelt to observe closer. "What kind of fuckers do we have here?"

"That's the good news." Gordon pointed "There are around thirty men and twenty women, as far as we know. Yes, it's impressive, but it's like that. And they sleep apart, so there are buildings much easier to secure."

"That's stupid." Rosita dictated.

"I'm sorry, I wasn't dissing women." Gordon apologized. "I'm just saying it's easier to eliminate them."

"I know. That's what is stupid." Rosita insisted. "They are equally dangerous, even more."

"Look, I know what I'm talking about." Gordon explained "These women have been assaulted, dominated, degraded and reduced to slaves. They don't mean a problem."

"He's right." Glenn said.

"You are all wrong." Rosita claimed, fuming. "That's what happens in the books, but in the real world? Women don't break like glass, in little pieces that only hurt when you step on them. They break like branches, the more you tear them, the sharper they get. And just approaching them, they stab you."

"I couldn't agree more." Lux replied.

"But how?" Glenn asked "you told me you felt safer with our group because there were many women, that the presence of women in a group made you feel safe."

"Because you seemed good men." Lux said. "I knew Daryl already. And the minute I met you, Glenn, you were talking about family. These here are the bad guys, the abusers, the rapists, the kind of guys who had girls hidden in their basements before the zombies rose from the grave. These women had been broken inside, but that doesn't mean they are still good people. They are survivors, but they haven't been helped." She waited to breathe deeply, because she was remembering herself. "They still live the same every day, so it has become normal. And there is Stockholm syndrome, and there are simply bad bitches. Considering they are weak is a terrible mistake. I think we should be as tough with them as you will be with men."

"Good. You must be right. We'll call it a night then." Gordon concluded. "We'll hit the road in four hours. You can try to sleep or just hang out here, but no booze tonight."

Lux and the girls chatted a bit and chose their places to sleep. Lux put her rucksack next to Daryl's, even though he was outside with Rick.

"Hey" Tara whispered, one meter away from her. "Are you scared for tomorrow?"

"Of course I am." Lux replied. "But I need to do this, I can't just sit and wait for the end."

"That's right. Will you do me a favor?"

"Which one?"

"Do it for me." Tara muttered. "End me if I get killed or bitten."

"Don't mention it. I will do it for you and everyone I care for."

They fell asleep. Daryl arrived two hours later and laid by her side.

"Are you awake?" he held her close from behind.

"Now I'm awake." she grunted. "Come on, we will have a hard day tomorrow."

"I don't want to sleep." he started smelling her hair. It looked so much better than when he found her in the woods.

"Dude, what are you doing?" she felt him touching her under her jeans. "There must be like one hundred people here."

"Jut sixty. The rest are outside."

"Alright, but we're not banging here tonight."

"No, we are not." he kissed her neck, slowly. "This is just for you."


	18. Chapter 18

**Based on season 6, with a new female character, using her POV. Warning for explicit language and violence, mentions of sexual abuse and suicide.**

"Morning." Rick's voice sounded raspier than ever. "Go to Gordon to grab your guns. See you in five."

"How long will it take us to reach there?" Maggie asked.

"I reckon about one hour. Given good luck."

"We could use some of that."

"Are you sure... of coming to a battle?" Rick asked.

"Yes, I'm still good at this. Time will come when I can barely make the bed." She laughed.

"I mean... we are a lot of people here, if you don't want to come, it's fine."

"Rick, I'm coming. I have to do it. For me, for Glenn, for my baby. And if the stripper there fights pregnant, I do so."

"The what?"

"Forget it."

"Well, here are your rifles, the silencers and the lenses." Gordon explained. "And here the other guns, you can choose HK and Glock."

"That's cute." Lux smirked. "Thanks but I have a Desert Eagle with a quote engraved in Fallujah." she winked at him.

"Is she like this all the time?" Gordon asked.

"Yup" Daryl replied, concentrated on choosing a rifle "Even worse."

Daryl was awake half an hour before due time. He didn't remember how long had it been since the last time he slept more than three hours in one night, but he felt decent. He took his backpack and Lux's to the Marine car and had an army ration for breakfast; he wasn't hungry, but it seemed a clever thing to do. At six o'clock he woke up Lux and they both got on the car, after picking their guns. They didn't talk for a long time, just held hands. He was terrified for what could happen to her and the baby, but he started to accept that she was able to fight, and they needed her indeed to win the battle.

At seven thirty they reached the outskirts of the complex and split in three teams, to sweep all the enemies they could before entering. They didn't find much resistance, and when they arrived to the fence, they gathered together again. The group deactivated the fences. Lux ran a sprint to have impulse in order to jump as high as she could, and grabbed the wire of the fence like a wild cat. Then she climbed one more meter and Daryl threw her a blanket to cover the spikes of the upper side. She bent down to grab it. Her beautiful body twisted in a gracious way.

"Don't say a word, guys." he grunted, without looking at Abraham, Rick, Heath and the soldiers around them. "One word and you are dead."

"She's gifted." Abraham commented.

"One more word and I stab you in your sleep."

Lux climbed up, threw the blanket and passed to the other side, calculated how to jump, and fell on the roof.

"Well, I'm here." Lux whispered on the walkie talkie.

"Good, wait until the others are on their roofs." Rick replied. "Watch carefully."

"Copy." she loaded her rifle and adjusted the silencer.

Rosita and Sasha climbed on the other points that they had agreed and started watching.

"Hi Lux, what can you see?" Gordon asked.

"Two guys below me, one on the East side, three between my building and Rosita's."

"Good. Please note all the saviors you find who are alone."

"There are three from where I can see."

"Fine. Watch them for now. You will have to shoot them down when I say."

She breathed deeply and replied. "Okay, copy."

The sun was rising, the morning light was pink and yellow. She liked the sunrise, but she missed the big blue sky in Iowa. The sky in Virginia was smaller, surrounded by mountains and the forest, but the Midwest sky was huge, unapproachable. That was what Lux tried to explain to Daryl one night, after they made love at Rick's backyard. "The night is different in my town, the sky is big, with so many stars you couldn't count them. And they shine bright in this time of the year". Daryl didn't pay much attention, he was busy staring at her soft skin.

She was convinced that it was then when she got pregnant. She liked to believe it. The truth was that she got pregnant the very first time, at Deanna's house.

Lux didn't know why she was recalling that moment now, laying on that roof, her body pressed against the cold concrete, pointing at some given man she never met before. Maybe it was just her little comfort place to hide for a minute. She started feeling the warm sunlight and put her gray cap on.

"Lux, the guy on your front." Rick announced. "Hit him."

"Copy."

She let the air blow from her lungs and pulled the trigger. He fell down without making a noise.

"Good. Now the other two."

She did so. She was scared of freezing, panicking, or thinking too much, but she found herself acting like a professional, the kind of person she didn't want to become. 'It's duty', she used to say to herself in the past. "It's for my family", she said now.

"Very good, girl." Daryl said, on the other channel "We are going to break in. You cover us from the East, focus on there. The other areas are secured by the others. Shoot only if we are in trouble, or you'll get caught. You understand?"

"Yeah. I mean, copy."

The group killed the guardians at the main gate and spread all around the enclosure, breaking fire against the enemies they found. 'We are taking no prisoners, we're giving no chances', Gordon said the day before. And so they did. Lux saw her lover, the father of his child, slaughtering men on his way towards he building she was on, and she felt nothing. Just relief because he was making it alive.

Daryl and Ethan were approaching the door and sneaking for people around, listening for noises inside. Glenn and another soldier we doing the same from the other side. Ethan made a signal and the soldier shot the door with is big shotgun. Daryl covered him and the others entered; but before he could do so, a short, old man ran and pulled his gun to him. Lux shot him in the face without even thinking. They got inside the building and she waited, while looking around. She heard a lot of noises, most of them horrid. She tried to focus on her duty, and she managed to kill a couple of men who were sneaking around. Then, she heard silence.

* * *

The orders were to shoot dead every man they found. No exceptions. They knew the placement some of the female bedrooms and they left them for Michonne and some soldiers who didn't care, but for the men of Alexandria it was a tough thing to do. They were not used to kill women. Heath and Glenn were not used to kill anyone at all, but Rick insisted in having Glenn in the main assault group because he trusted him more than anyone, perhaps even more than Daryl.

They eliminated everyone they found, and reached the armory.

"Oh God" Gordon ranted "I told the General more than once, these fuckers could have a ton of war weapons, and here they are. They were building another army."

"Abraham said..." Daryl began, hesitatingly. "Abraham told your General that he didn't want to battle the Saviors because he was hoping to deal with them or even use them on his behalf. Is that true?"

"Well, not only that. We were fearing he would join them, or make them join us under some conditions, because of how tough they are. Like, having them on our side to fight together against the walkers or worst groups."

"I'm sorry to put it like this" Rick interrupted "but I'm glad he is dead. Come on, let's grab all this and have some men taking it to the base, and go on with duty."

"I was thinking..." Daryl said. "I don't want Lux to climb the watchtowers. I prefer her to come with me to the communication center."

"Why?" Rick asked.

"She is not... she is not in the condition." he stuttered, scratching his head.

"Alright, I don't care." he patted Daryl's shoulder in sign of respect. "I'll have some men for the watchtower instead. You take care of her, okay?"

"Yeah." he replied, grateful.

Suddenly, they heard Glenn shouting for help from the other side of the corridor. They ran towards him. He was back against a door, pushing so they wouldn't open it from the inside, with the help of some soldiers. They could hear voices crying and screaming.

"What is the matter?" Michonne asked, who had just come from the female rooms, with her yellow top sprayed with blood.

"There are children inside." Ethan replied. "At least six, around eight years old, maybe less. Little boys and girls."

"What the fuck?" Rick asked. He combed his dirty hair back.

"Are they hostage or something?" Michonne asked.

"I fear they are their own children." Glenn answered. "We have just killed their parents."

"So they aren't looking for help, they are looking for revenge." Daryl mourned.

"Hey, they are little." Ethan said. "They are screaming for their mums, and they are scared."

"We can't bring them with us." Michonne said. "He is right, they will seek for revenge. Perhaps not now, because they are traumatized and confused, but when they grow up..." she looked down and pressed her lips together.

"So what do we do now?" Glenn asked, still pushing back. "Do we leave them here alone?"

"I don't fucking know, man." Rick said. "I can't think properly right now."

"There is only one thing we can do for now." Ethan said. "We lock the door, bring water and snacks from time to time, and secure the area."

Rick and Michonne nodded.

"No, no way. They can't be alone now, they are crying!" Glenn whined.

"Remember what Lux said last night?" Daryl grunted "They have been brought up by bastards, so they must be fucked up, badly. I'm not babysitting them."

"Alright, let's do this." Michonne suggested "I'll stay here with Glenn and Ethan, but first we have to make sure they don't have guns. We will try to talk to them but I don't think they will want to. And we keep them safe here inside."

All of them agreed.

Daryl rushed out, followed by Ethan, to check the outskirts. They made sure there was nobody around the building.

"Lux, honey, you can jump down. We're changing building."

"Copy."

She picked her guns and backpack and turn around to stand up, but then she heard a noise on the East side, and laid down to watch. Then she heard Daryl on the radio again.

"Careful, there's one up! He just climbed! Right behind you!"

She rolled over, pulled her desert eagle and shot him on the face. He was pushed back, his feet on the air, and fell down the roof, landing between Daryl and Ethan.

"Got it." she said, on the radio.

"That's my girl." Daryl said, looking at the dead man on the ground. Ethan couldn't believe it.

She jumped down and Daryl held her tight.

"How was it inside?" she asked. "It sounded horrible."

"It was fine." He lied. "We can't talk now, we're going to the communication center."

"Why? I thought you would assign me a tower and I would go climb it."

"You've had enough climbing for today. You're coming with me."

They gathered together with half of the soldiers and went to the biggest building in the center in the enclosure, and got inside. They went up the stairs, led by Daryl and Ethan, Lux in the center of the group, and three more men watching their backs. The building was huge and almost empty, with some old, broken computers on the ground floor and many wires all around. The antennae had been destroyed by the gunfire but they tried to keep the rest of the equipment available to use it themselves. The group checked the three floors. Each of them was open, with no rooms, just some more computers and control panels, most of them still working.

Later, when Rick finished securing the rest, he and Michonne came into the center.

"How are the children?" Rick asked.

Michonne shrugged her shoulders. "One just tried to bite me."

"Children?" Lux asked.

"I'll tell you later." Daryl replied.

"Abraham and Gordon and the troop are with the girls on the towers, they are finding some resistance. We shouldn't spend more than an hour in this."

"I don't even know what time it is, but I'm hungry. "Lux said."

"It's two PM." Rick replied.

"Here" Michonne gave her a cereal bar "I'm hungry too, but I'm not carrying a rug rat."

"Thanks."

Daryl gave Michonne a puzzled look, and she gave it back to him, because Lux wasn't even supposed to be there.

"Fine, I think this will be easy." Rick explained "Just watch in your area, wait and I'll go upstairs with the guys, up to the rooftop. Do you want to come?"

"Yes." Daryl replied, taking Lux's hand.

They started going up a spiral staircase.

"I don't get you" Lux complained "you don't want me to climb a stupid tower but you want me to go up to the top of a bunker?"

"First, you would have to climb he tower on your own, and here you are surrounded by big, handsome men. Second, and more important." he pulled his rifle as he was going upstairs. "here no one can watch your butt as you climb."

The group found a young man, hiding inside a cupboard on the side of the stairs. He lifted his hands in sign of surrender, but one of the soldiers shot him down. Lux shivered, but didn't say anything.

They reached a clear space on the last floor, below a huge skylight.

"Okay, I want to see what is up there." Rick claimed. "There is only one way." he pointed the skylight with his rifle.

"That's a stupid thing to do." Michonne complained.

"Completely. Watch your heads." he replied, pulling the trigger.

The glass shattered into a million pieces, which covered them. They shook off the glass and looked around for more enemies. Rick looked up, thoughtful.

"The thing is, the skylight is bigger than the platform we are in, so... How do we do it?"

"I can't jump so high and forward, I will break my head." Lux whined.

"But I can lift you on my shoulders so you give it a try." Daryl suggested.

"I weigh too much."

"I know, but this might be the last time we do this." Daryl helped her up "Come on."

She did so, and tried to reach the edge of the hole that the skylight had left. The remaining glass was sharp, so she took the dirty cloth she had for cleaning her knives. She grabbed the edge and told him.

"I got it, you can go." Lux said.

She propelled herself up and landed on the roof.

"Clear!" she shouted "Throw a rope! There is a hook to tie it."

They went up along the rope, stood up and observed the vast area around the dome.

"Fuck me." Lux said, her hands on her hips. "This is a whole civilization here."

There were more buildings they could not see from the ground: a big garage, a silo and something which looked like another armory.

She and Daryl sat down to rest, and the others walked to the edge.

Rick picked his binoculars and looked towards the towers.

"Abraham, you copy? We are up here."

He heard some noises, and Sasha replied.

"He can't talk now." she stuttered, and stopped to breathe. "Rosita just got shot and fell down. They soldiers on the ground checked her... She is dead."

"God."

"It's not anyone's fault, there were a lot of soldiers here for us, but... I don't know, it just happened."

"I'm sorry, I..." he looked back, Michonne was hiding away her tears. Daryl and Lux hadn't noticed. "We are going down now. This is secured."

She sniffed and replied. "Copy."

"How do you feel?" Daryl asked.

"I'm tired, and I feel sick for the goddamn creature I have here, and... I want a shower." she leaned on his shoulder.

"Well, cheer up. We are fighting so there is a home and a shower to go back to."

"Are you good? I mean, good with me?" Lux asked.

"Yes, why?"

"I don't know, you are avoiding me lately. I know we are in a war, but we haven't talked since... you know."

"I'm sorry, we have been busy." he kissed her forehead.

"Do you want it?" she turned her face to him, looking with her tired, gloomy eyes. "Do you even want it, Daryl?"

"I do."

"But just because I want it."

"Yes. If you didn't want it, it would be absurd, don't you think?"

"Bullshit, you know what I mean."

"Okay, I don't know, I... I'm trying to adjust." Daryl admitted. "I want you, and I guess... I guess I want to build a family. I couldn't tell you when or how."

"I understand. I can't oblige yo to stay with me, I just... I need you. But I don't want you to be unhappy with us."

"You know, all honest, I have been miserable all my life, this is not a major problem. We'll make it through."

"Hi." Rick approached them, gloomy. "We should go."

"Is everything okay?" Lux asked.

"No, but we gotta rush away. I've just talked with Gordon and all the enclosure is secured now, we are going to help at the perimeter."

Daryl hesitated "Do you need everyone still?"

"Yes, more than before. We've had many casualties."

"How many?" Daryl asked

"As far as I know, twenty men... and Rosita."

"Fuck." Lux gulped. "I'm so sorry."

"I tell you what, Abraham is not gonna function properly." Michonne muttered "And don't even bother talking to him."

"No" Daryl agreed. "He's gonna be a mess."

* * *

Indeed, Abraham didn't articulate a word for the following three hours. The group gathered together below the towers and talked about the outskirts.

"Well, we've done a good job but there are some loose ends we have to take care of." Gordon said, with a tired, guttural voice . "There are saviors outside, and we don't know if there is any hole in the fence which they could use to enter. I'm placing my men as well as I can to watch this place. However, you can't stay here. I need you outside. There will only be Glenn and Maggie looking after the children until we can get them to Alexandria safely. This forest is thick and we can't see far away. We are going in groups of seven, so all you go together: Rick, Michonne, Abraham, Sasha, Daryl, Lux, Heath and Tara. Anyway you will be close to one of my squadrons. You will go from the fence, at this point (he pointed on the map), towards the lake, where we have already set a camp. Be careful, there are rumors about channels they dug to drive the water to their place. And God knows what more."

"Okay, we'll watch." Rick replied, and he turned to his group. "There is only one radio channel available now, the second, and please don't use it unless emergency."

"Fine." Tara replied, absent. Lux rubbed her back; she was exhausted too, even though more used to those situations.

"Excuse me, Sir." Daniel, a sergeant, interrupted "Are we really bringing a pregnant female in one squadron?"

"I am pregnant of that one there" Lux pointed at Daryl, who was lighting up a cigar, with his shirt, neck and part of his face stained in blood. "So I'm already tougher than you, fucker."

"Let's leave it like that." Gordon replied. "Daniel, just don't open your mouth. I can't defend you from them. We are going up North West, we will meet at the lake in three hours. Good luck."

"Same." Rick replied.

"So, what now?" Sasha asked "We just go Rambo?"

"We gotta open our way forward." Rick answered, loading his Colt. "Remember, this is short distance, we must be silent. No guns unless necessary. Keep to knives and such."

He led the group outside towards the woods and made signals for them to follow him in parallel ways.

"You." Rick called Daryl to come with him. "I know what I said, but... just stay alive, okay? You don't owe me explanations."

He nodded and cocked his crossbow.

* * *

Although Lux was glad to leave the enclosure, the air in the woods was more humid than ever. She felt out of breath, and she was scared to the bone. She was no more on the roof, watching like an eagle, safe and aware: she was down in the bushes, surrounded by her family, but barely able to see them among the vast vegetation. She put her hair up in a pony tail and knelt down, without standing up not even to go forward.

They all spread in two lines, following a narrow path towards the lake. They found many walkers, which were put down mostly by Rick and Michonne. Lux got rid of some others on he sideways. They didn't see any living one for the first two hours. After that, they stopped to check themselves and drink water.

"Abraham, you're bleeding bad." Lux stated, focusing on a huge, ugly cut on his bicep.

"It's nothing." he muttered, looking away.

"You need stitches." she insisted, grabbing her backpack "Come here."

"She is right" Sasha agreed, "you must get it fixed."

"Whatever, I'll go there." Lux replied, sitting by his side. She picked antibiotics, bands and medical thread, and a needle. "I need a lighter."

Daryl reached her one, without stopping watching away.

"Not trying to question your skills here, but have you done this before?" Abraham asked.

"Yes, I've sown other people, and also myself. I have my leg in one piece thanks to it."

She washed the wound properly, heated the needle to disinfect it, and started sowing patiently.

"Sasha, grab him, if he moves I'll make a mess."

It took her some minutes, and Rick began to get nervous.

"Are you done there?" he asked.

"Just a minute." she rinsed the stitches and covered them with a clean cloth. "Finished."

"Thank you" Abraham mumbled.

"No problem, Sasquatch." she kissed his cheek.

"Lux, I want to ask you something." Rick said. "Could you come forward?"

"Why?" Daryl inquired, bothered.

"Let me know first what it is about, and then I'll ask you for your permission, Sir." Lux mocked.

"It's just we can't see well, in any direction." Rick said, nervous "I was wondering if you could cover my left side, and Michonne the right one."

"And why her, and not me?" Daryl asked.

"She sees further, and you know."

"Fuck. Alright, just don't go in the first line."

"I have a better idea." she said. "Abraham, do you keep... you know, the machete?"

"Oh... Rosita's? Y-yes, it's here." he gave it to her by the handler.

"Thanks." she wiped it and tied it to her belt. "I'm gonna try something."

"What?" Rick asked.

"You watch the front and I go behind you, just not at the same height." Lux explained, excited "You are much taller than me, I will cover the ground. I will go for the boots."

"I don't get you." Rick said, puzzled

"I do, and it's sick." Michonne pointed. "but I like it."

"Me too." Daryl agreed. "She will open the path for us, but they won't see her." He turned to her. "Just keep to the ground, stab their feet and roll over when you're done, okay?"

She nodded and put the raincoat on again, not to get wet with the moist soil of the forest. Then she bent down again and went forward, by Rick's side.

"Abraham, you cover the back." Rick said. "We should reach the others in a minute."

They advanced this way for some minutes, and soon they found a bunch of around four men hidden on the right side of the path. They were standing up, looking away towards the four sides, back to back, forming a square.

"Right, this is your shoot, darling." Rick muttered "one strike, right to the ankle."

Lux leaned on a tree and bent as low as she could. She grabbed the machete with both hands, made sure no one was on her way, and drew an arc with it to gain strength, before she discharged it on the legs of the Savior she had on her side. He made an inhuman noise of pain, and fell down. Then Lux rolled over to go back to where she was before and hid in the bushes, while Rick shot that man in the face and confronted the others, helped by the group. Daryl stabbed one of them in his head, before he noticed what was happening. Abraham cut the throat of the biggest one and the other three took care of the remaining one, while watching for other intruders.

"There are more coming our way." Michonne advised, stressed.

They all pulled their guns, with Lux hiding in the lower bushes. Rick was the first in shooting, and Abraham followed him. Sasha got next to Daryl.

"We can open an arc, you and me, closer to them while they are focused on the center. We can fuck them bad."

"Well thought. Go to the other side."

She did so, and that way they almost covered every one of the members of the other group. However, they left Lux behind. She kept watching forward, until she heard a noise of cracking wood on her right side. Some guy with half of his face burnt off was grabbing Tara by the head. Lux pulled her desert eagle towards him.

"Leave her the fuck alone!" she commanded.

"No." the man replied, shooting Tara on her temple.

She didn't feel anything when she died.

Lux screamed in sorrow and fear. The man who had just killed her best friend shot her on her left thigh, and she fell on the ground. Someone was approaching her from behind, but she didn't move. He was very tall, and his pace was slow, threatening. He was carrying a huge bat, wrapped in wire, and it was dripping blood.

"My, my" the stranger said. "You have made a mess indeed." his dark green eyes stared at her like a wolf grabbing his prey. He bent down. "It's you, the infamous bitch. How are you?"

She didn't reply, just waited for her own end.

"Hey, cheer up. I'm not going to kill you, you know. I have better tasks for you than dying. If you just let go, you won't regret it." He grabbed her arm to pick her gun. "We'll have a good time."

"Then you'll have to fuck my corpse." she whispered, putting the gun inside her mouth and unlocking it. Her face was covered in mud and tears.

"Don't do that, stupid girl." he replied, leaning backwards instinctively. His deep voice was trembling "Don't kill yourself. I want you in one piece, you're my trophy, you understand?"

Abraham shot both of them. He killed one but failed with tallest. Lux reacted and rolled over, hiding in the bush again, and tried to stand up, but her leg didn't respond. She saw Abraham fighting against more men and refused to go back. She crawled among the branches and the creeps, and found a centipede so huge she had to change her way. She stopped twice to sob and gasp for air. She couldn't take Tara out of her mind, her defenseless gaze, her fear, her denial. Once she found a safe point, she threw her left knife against one of the guys who were fighting with her group, and she hit him in his knee. Nevertheless, she wasn't able to fight properly and she preferred to retreat.

Finally she arrived at a quite area, a small patch with no vegetation, and sat down. She was exhausted, seriously wounded, all her body hurt, and she was sad and frightened. She took Aaron's raincoat off because it was hot and she had sweat profusely, and leaned on her own backpack, still carrying it.

She slipped backwards on wet land. She didn't care. Her backpack fell on a well, and pulled her down. She fell some meters into the cold water, and was transported by the running water towards nowhere. But she couldn't see the sky, because it was an underground channel. She didn't stop moving with the current, stumbling upon walkers, branches, and a hundred other things, and it was pitch dark. Finally, she found white light on a diversion on the tunnel, and swam towards it with all her remaining strength. She managed to reach it; it was another well, she didn't know where. She didn't dare to scream, in case she was surrounded by Survivors. She took off her backpack and held it from a nail, stung somewhere. And she waited, grabbing the edge of a piece of concrete with her fingers, shivering with cold, and breathing fast. Part of her wanted to let herself go, towards the unknown, to eventually drown in the dark. But somehow she stood still, because she couldn't help surviving. And because now she wasn't the only one in her own body.

* * *

"Look at me." Rick begged, trying to get Daryl focused on the ongoing fight. "We will find her, I promise. We have found a lot of people, right? Just trust me."

"Okay." he nodded, trying to concentrate.

They had killed the men they had confronted and were trying to reach the camp at the lake without getting trapped by the remains of the gang.

Gordon and Ethan arrived, looking concerned.

"Hi."

"Hey, long time no see." Rick replied.

"I'm sorry, we tried to reach you earlier but we found a fuck ton of Survivors. Including their boss.

"What?" Sasha asked. "Do they even have one?"

"Yes, and he is a real son of a bitch." Ethan replied. "I just lost ten men in a minute, in an ambush, we don't even know how it started."

"Did you see Lux?"

"Yes." Abraham replied. "She was escaping, but we don't know where. She hasn't been trapped as far as I know."

"Good." Daryl sighed, relieved.

"But your friend, the brunette, she... she got killed." Gordon pointed out. "I'm really sorry."

"Shit." Michonne looked down. "I hope it was quick."

"It was. We couldn't do anything, it happened too quickly. And Lux is wounded."

* * *

Lux was freezing. The water was too cold for her, and too cold for that place and time of the year; she couldn't understand it. She was afraid of not being able to handle the crack with her fingers, and she tied her belt to the nail, though she knew it wouldn't last. She was exhausted, and couldn't think properly. Her leg hurt bad. The sun was setting down slowly. She closed her eyes.

* * *

The group gathered together inside the bunker at the lake, and tried to communicate with Hilltop division. It took them half an hour, but they managed to find out they were fine, and they had not lost many people, although the guys of Negan, the Survivors, had escaped, at least twenty of them. Alexandria was safe too, all the people inside were well.

"They are out there and they are pissed." Rick said. "They will go ruthless against us."

"Man, I didn't lie to you." Gordon replied. "This is a war, and this here was just a battle. We have achieved more than I could imagine, your people are amazing."

Abraham was investigating the building, wandering around. Sasha was tired of trying to console him, and she gave up.

"Now, for the girl outside." Gordon was considering options. "I can't dedicate more than three men for it. I'm sorry. I need all he rest to defend this and look for the runaways."

"I get it." Daryl replied. "All help is welcome. Volunteers?"

"I'll go." Heath said.

"Me too." Abraham added.

"You're not well to go." Daryl denied "I'm sorry."

"I'll do it." Michonne said. "And don't reject me, you need me."

"Okay." Daryl agreed.

"Then there it is." Gordon agreed. "I'll help you with Ethan, if he agrees."

"Yes, of course." Ethan said.

"Now, this is what I have." Gordon unfolded a map of the conductions of air and water. "we just found it."

"Good." Daryl replied. "I'll take it to the woods where she got lost."

"These are the closest channels to here." Gordon added.

"She didn't fall there." Abraham said. "She was not near those, and I saw that she couldn't walk properly."

"Are you sure?" Daryl asked "please focus, we can't lose more time."

"I'm sure she was far from those." he said, pointing on the map with his fat finger. "She was further North, near the lake. She was closer to here."

"Which channels are these?" Michonne inquired.

"The drinking water and human use ones." Gordon replied.

"Perhaps there are more." Sasha wondered.

"Refrigeration." Rick mourned, closing his eyes. "They need refrigeration for all their devices, the computers, the consoles... they are taking the water out of the lake to use it as a circuit to cool down all the system. Look for them and rush away for her, if I'm right you have less time."

"I'm out now, I'm not waiting." Daryl stated "I must start tracking her."

He left and both Michonne and Heath followed him. Ethan waited for instructions.

"Here it is!" Abraham shouted, in excitement, coming from a dirty wardrobe. "I've found it. It looks like a refrigeration system. Look, it surrounds the bunker in the south and this one in the north, and it connects with the lake. And it covers the communication tower. And I think she is around this area, or at least he fell near here" he grabbed a pen to mark it. "so she must have followed this stream or this one."

"Bless your guts" Ethan picked the map and rushed out.

"Is there anyone here to... help her, if they find her?" Sasha asked.

"There is Patrick, he is a good doctor." Gordon replied. "He is a lung surgeon, and above all things, he is relentless. I have never seen someone so obsessed with saving people. He takes it personal."

"He might have lost someone very important to him." Abraham mumbled.

"His boyfriend, on the surgery bed. Six months ago." Gordon explained "He hasn't let anyone die in front of him ever since. And trust me, he has had it tough."

* * *

"Do you regret not going?" Carl asked, pointing with his gun towards the gates.

"No, not at all." Carol replied. "Someone had to be here, and here we are. And it doesn't mean you and me are weak, it just means there are tougher people than us. And they are the ones suitable for that job. We are suitable for this, and also the soldiers and the other men here."

"But I wanted to go." Carl whined . "I have lost an opportunity to fight, to prove I'm valuable."

"Oh, my little child." Carol stroke his chin, gently. "You will have many other chances, this has just begun." she pulled her sad smile and kept watching.

* * *

They reached the point where Abraham had she said might have fallen, following her tracks on the ground, and they found the first well. The sunlight was fading. There was a mark of her backpack on the mud, and she had lost something Daryl didn't recognize.

"I haven't seen this before, I don't know if it's hers." Daryl said, puzzled.

"But I do, it is hers." Michonne recognized her crystal in his big, dirty hand, and grabbed it.

"Now what?" Heath asked, looking around. "How do we know where she went?"

"Well, we can see the direction of the current, and we can follow the path of the map..." Daryl stopped talking and started to run.

"He's not very good at communicating, is he?" Ethan asked, rushing behind him.

"He is a fucking disaster." Michonne replied.

Suddenly, he made a signal and bent down.

"There are people there, ahead on our way." he muttered, pulling his crossbow.

"How many?" Heath asked.

"About ten." Michonne whispered "Fuck. Fuck."

Daryl didn't ask. He shot two arrows one after the other, and hid in the bushes before they noticed him. The others did the same.

"We can't do this." Michonne muttered.

"Then why are you here?" Daryl asked. "Do you feel guilty?"

"Fuck you, jerk". She groaned

"I knew it." he replied.

"You are good indeed, Daryl." Ethan pointed, watching. "You have killed two, and they don't even know where it came from."

"Now we have a little time." Heath said, relieved.

"No we don't." Michonne said, seeing two Saviours approaching them from the side. "We have to get out of here."

She shot one of them and Ethan went for the other. Daryl took advantage of the chaos and moved forward. Heath followed him. They shot all the remaining men and when Heath was about to kill the last one, Daryl stopped him and shot the man on his right leg.

"What are you doing?" Heath asked. "I already had him!"

"Just a minute." Daryl said.

"What are you going to do?"

"Shut up and go forward, with the others. Don't wait, I'll reach you."

Heath left and Daryl started beating the man. Michonne and Ethan reached Heath and they followed the direction marked on the map. However, they didn't find anything during a mile. Suddenly, Daryl appeared after them, sweating and breathing hard.

"The next well is hidden, it doesn't follow the path, it's a diversion before reaching a dead end. This guy he said didn't think she made it there, but I believe she did. Let's go for the left."

"How did you...? oh no." Heath said.

"Shut the fuck up." Daryl replied, recovered. "Let's go."

They reached the point the man had said, but there was nothing there either. At least, it seemed so. It was a patch of land, but there was no hole in it... or so it seemed. Daryl put his ear on the ground and listened.

"I hear something, but it's weak..."

"Me too. "Ethan said. "It comes from there. "he pointed further on the right."

And there, among a pile of trash, was the well, with no marks on the ground or visible edges, prepared for someone to fall in it. They couldn't see her. It was so dark down there.

"Lux?" Daryl forgot to be precocious and he called her. "Baby, are you there?"

The others waited, watching around.

"Here, have a torch." Ethan said.

He looked inside and he saw her, grabbing the wall, not moving, not looking at him.

"Hey! It's us! Say something!" he begged.

She screamed something he didn't understand. The sound of the running water was too loud.

"Give me the rope." he said.

He threw it to her.

"It's no use!" Lux shouted. "I can't grab it or I'll lose my anchor!"

"You will have to handle me down." Daryl said, pulling back the rope.

"I'll do it" Michonne said. "I'm lighter."

"You're weaker too, you won't be able to grab her." he replied, tying himself.

They handled him down, helped by a big trunk which they surrounded with the rope, and he went down to her.

"Hey, hi!" he said, trying to grab her waist.

"About time." she replied, shaking.

"Fuck, you're freezing." Daryl said, holding her tight.

"I can't grab my backpack." she complained

"Forget it, grab me. Tight. And hang on to the rope. We are going up." he shouted to the ones up. "Hey! Time! Pull!"

They pulled them up and Lux fell on the ground, aimless. She looked pale and sick. Daryl called the camp on the radio to ask them to pick them up.

"Have you swallowed water?" Michonne asked.

Lux didn't reply. Michonne helped her sitting down and put her fingers inside her mouth. She gagged and vomited a lot of dirty water.

"There, there." she said, handling her forehead. "Someone give me a blanket, or a coat. Damn, you have a temper."

"Don't you have a blanket there?" Daryl asked "You are coming to rescue someone who has fallen into a channel without one?"

Ethan took a blanket from his backpack; he was so shocked by the way Lux looked, that he had forgotten to do it before.

"They are reaching us in a minute, and taking us to the south bunker, the one we broke in this morning." Daryl announced "Yesterday. I don't know."

"Good." Michonne said, without stopping looking at her. "How do you feel?"

"Crap" Lux replied, shivering. "My leg hurts bad. I don't even dare to look at the wound."

Michonne looked underneath the blanket. She regretted.

"Don't worry, I've had worse."

Daryl took her hair out of the rubber band, and wrung the water out of it gently, so it stopped pouring down her body.

"It's fine, baby, it's gonna be fine." Daryl whispered, softly, feeling scared but glad to have her back.

"Did we kill the bad guys?" Lux asked, dizzy.

"Yes, don't worry, we killed them all." he lied.

Five minutes later, the Marine car arrived there and they took her inside, and laid her down on a dry blanket at the back.

"Rush, for your mom's sake." Ethan begged.

"I know, she is valuable for the humankind because she is carrying a baby, blah blah blah." Jason, the driver, mocked.

"I'm not speaking about that." Ethan whispered. "her man is a total psycho and he will kill us if she doesn't make it."

"It won't take long." Daryl said grabbing her hand, sitting beside her. "You'll be good in a minute."

"I fear for the baby." she muttered, looking away, totally absent.

Daryl swallowed and replied. "It's okay, he will be good."

"No." she insisted, opening her eyes wide in panic. "He is playing with scissors, can't you see?"

Daryl looked at Michonne, who looked away in sorrow.

"Can you just rush the fuck out?" Daryl shouted.

"I see what you are talking about." Jason said.

It only took them ten minutes to reach the Southern camp, but Heath, Michonne and Daryl were very worried for Lux. She couldn't talk, or think properly, and she eventually fell unconscious. When they arrived, Daryl took her in his arms and carried her to the battle hospital Patrick had built. Maggie and Sasha were inside, waiting.

"She has been hallucinating" Michonne said. She picked a towel to dry her.

"Fuck." Patrick touched her forehead. "she's boiling. Look, Sasha, right? you must check her temperature, and keep her as cold as you can. Ask for ice, or cans of beer, or anything. Look for aspirins." he unveiled her wound "I'm going to have it hard here. Maggie, you pick blood for a test, can you find a vein?"

"Yeah, no problem."

"Good. Later I will need your help to clean his mess and extract the bullet."

"Is there hope for her?" Abraham asked.

"Yes, she has been ran over by life, but she will make it through tonight. And please, leave the room you both, especially Daryl. Temperature?"

"Forty. She is unconscious still." Sasha said, concerned. "What can we do?"

"I don't know, smack her." Patrick replied, opening the wound to clean it.

Suddenly Lux started to shake violently. Sasha tried to hold her tight but she couldn't make it stop.

"Shit, she's is shock!" Maggie shouted.

"We have to low down her temperature, now" he saw Daryl going pale "and for fuck's sake, kick him out of here!"

Abraham grabbed him by his shoulders and dragged him out of the tent.

"She is going to die." Daryl said, blocked.

"No, she is not." Abraham said. "But there is nothing we can do now."

* * *

Lux woke up, confused and in a terrible pain.

"What happened?" she cried. "Where am I?"

"Not in Kansas for sure." Patrick was washing her wound. "Hi girl, we are going to start the worst of all. I'm taking off the bullet and I can't sedate you."

"Why?"

"Because I don't know what the fuck could happen in your condition."

Maggie caressed her hair to calm her. "It will last shorter than you think."

"Not gonna lie, this will hurt bad," Patrick warned "think of a happy place and don't bite your tongue."

"Please keep my leg in its place." she begged.

"Of course I will, you can't go on labor with just one leg." he reached his lancet. "but I will have to cut flesh off."

Sasha grabbed one of her hands, and with the other picked the thermometer from her armpit.

"Thirty eight, she's going better." Sasha said "I will remove the ice bags."

"Super duper, thanks." he started extracting the bullet. "hold your breathe."

She suffered an excruciating pain for some minutes, and then she passed out again. When she woke up, Patrick was finishing cleaning her leg and she realized she had lost infected tissue around the wound. The pain kicked in again.

"You son of a bitch, leave me alone!" she yelled.

"You're fucking welcome." he said, and he asked Maggie. "Can you sow this, please?"

"Hi again" Sasha smiled at her, genuinely happy. "Daryl was waiting outside until a minute ago."

"Did that fucker go to sleep?" Lux grunted

"No, I'm afraid not." the smile vanished from her face. "He went with Rick to seek for more survivors."

"He lied to me." Lux whined

"Who wouldn't" Maggie replied, finishing her task.


	19. Chapter 19

**Based on season 6, with a new female character, using her POV. Warning for explicit language and violence, mentions of sexual abuse and suicide.**

The following month went by slowly. The cold was hitting her hard for the first time in years, and she rushed to fix and recycle warm clothes for her and the others. At first she did it at home, on the couch, while her leg was healing. Then, she would take her garments out, to go on them after finishing her duties in the garden or on the towers, while the people around her were talking. She didn't talk much for a while. Every time she opened her mouth she was hoping for Tara to be there. She missed her so much she wouldn't talk about it.

All she did was choosing pieces of clothes, cutting, sowing, discarding, picking again, and offering them to others. They usually accepted her jumpers and coats, but they knew it was a symptom of something else. She didn't leave the community for a month. She didn't want to, and nobody asked her either. Even Maggie left sometimes to look for food or talk with Gordon at the military bases, while making important decisions with Rick, but Lux was locked in, physically and mentally.

Her relation with Daryl was good, they shared their new home in peace. They didn't talk their feelings usually, but they cared for each other. Daryl began to behave extremely protective with her, and she didn't complain. She needed to be defended, sheltered and calmed down. He promised her to look after them both forever, and she took it as a proposal, which she accepted.

The community was safe and working well. The National Guard watched them day and night, and the people in Alexandria and Hilltop collaborated to obtain food, rebuild structures and fortify all the territory they had conquered. However, there was an unstable balance to it all. The atmosphere was tense. They didn't have any more news from the Saviours, although Negan was free and they feared many of his soldiers were around. They stopped going on expeditions, unless it was with big groups, armed, and usually beside the men from the National Guard.

The children they had rescued were doing fine, so to speak. They were scattered in different houses to avoid them isolating (and conspiring), and some of them started communicating, although they were aggressive. Two of them, Angel (6) and Nap (4) (those were the names they gave) didn't talk at all. They kept playing with toys in complete silence. They lived with Maggie and Glenn. Daisy (10) lived with Rick and Michonne, because they couldn't shelter even more children at home. Mark (7) lived with Carol and Ben; he was the most cheerful of them all, which wasn't saying much. Kevin (11) lived with Morgan, who was very eager to foster him; he had the hardest time calming the kid down the first week, but eventually they built a proper relation based on mutual respect and avoidance. Peggy (13) lived with Deanna, and they got along well, although everybody was suspicious of her kind and industrious attitude.

Daryl and Lux refused to foster any child. They simply argued they didn't even like children at all. The truth was that he didn't want to expose her to any risk, not even a big quarrel or a crying fit.

She was self defensive but still concerned about the community, and it made her very happy to see that they were actually safe, it made her feel like a real fresh start. She missed her friends, but Gordon and Ethan were as kind to her as most of the people in the community.

One day she realized she had never been to Hilltop. It felt like she had been preserved for assault squadron instead of diplomatic and logistics. She didn't feel bad for that, but she was curious about it.

She still had nightmares, more than before. Daryl never came to bed until two AM or later, and he usually waited for her to wake up from them, and hold her before thinking of sleeping. She used to dream about her assault, her time alone, or her fights with walkers, but now she also dreamed about water: the rain on her face when she got trapped, the cold channel, drowning, or getting rescued and dying on a hospital bed, with Daryl looking at her.

She also dreamed of Tara; never Aaron, always her. She never knew how hard she relied on her until she lost her right in front of her. When she was awake, she recalled it insistingly, trying to repeat the scene and calculating how she could have saved her; all the things she could have done differently, how she could have shot both men, how she could have kept her alive. At night, when asleep, she repeated the same scene, but now it was herself the one killed, and Tara cried in grief. She dreamed of her baby too: apart from that recurrent nightmare where the fetus killed her from the inside, she dreamed of her baby growing up, playing happily, and getting bitten while she was watching.

"Hi, how is the family?" Rick cheered early in the morning, when Lux came out for her shift at the tower.

"Er... Good, thanks. And yours? How is the foster girl doing?"

"She's just fine, she's a good girl. Listen... we have been talking about going far away for food and supplies. It's true that we are better now with so many people, but we need more of everything to face the winter."

"Okay." she replied, without reacting. "Cool."

"I mean we want you to come." Rick said, looking at her straight in the eye.

"Who are 'you' exactly? Because Daryl hasn't told me about it. Is it uncle Sam who needs me so much?

"Look, I'm trying to be kind here. I know you've been through a lot, like the rest of us, and you feel vulnerable now you are pregnant, but you won't be alone this time."

"I repeat, do you really need me? Can't I just choose to stay?"

"You wanna know something? Everyone counts on you. Everybody wants you in. And there's Michonne, and Abraham, and Sasha. And all of us want you to come. Even Eugene thinks you are very clever." he winked at her.

"I feel flattered." she continued pulling a resting bitch face. "And where are we going?"

"He he, I got you. We are thinking of a Wal-mart near Washington. It's more like a super mall, it was new when the walkers rose."

"Sounds fine. Big, crowded, maze-like and cold. I can't wait."

"You couldn't be more sarcastic. The National Guard has been watching it all the way, but they needed a push to dare to enter. They are backed up by the soldiers in NYC, at least thirty."

She pulled a flirtatious gaze, curious.

"Then, again, my dearest Rick, why the fuck do you need me?"

He grinned and stroke her hair softly. "Because you are pretty, it's just that."

"I'm in, then. But I'm not going anywhere away from you all."

"You won't. That was the condition, we stay together no matter what."

"Okay then, I gotta go work now. When are we going?"

"Two days from now, in the morning. At six. But don't worry, you don't have to drive, Snow White."

"You're so fun when you're an asshole. See you around."

"See you!"

* * *

"Yo." Michonne greeted Daryl when she entered the armory.

"Hey."

"Aren't you gonna speak to me ever again?"

"What?"

"Don't 'what' me. You're avoiding me, I can notice that. You have never been so cold to me, ever."

"Well, if you know about that, you also know why, so there's nothing to talk."

"Oh come one, you have to be kidding me." She confronted him, face off. "Just a kiss and you hate me like that? Are you five years old?"

"You know what? Fuck you. It's not my fault that you lost your chance, just get stuck with Rick or whatever. I don't care."

"You are a complete asshole, indeed." she fumed. "And you are lying. Or else you're scared of me."

He closed the door, leaving the room in complete darkness, and whispered in her ear. "I'm not scared of you, I'm scared of myself. And if you were so smart, you would understand. Now, please, just leave me alone."

"Dude..."

He cornered her against the wall.

"For the sake of what is right, go away. Don't even look at me. Think of Rick, think of the group. Think of all we would fuck up forever. And go."

She stared at him in denial, and then smirked. "Okay, but you will see me around. Rick told me you are coming with us to Washington. We're not coming back here in a week or two. See you later." she picked her guns and Rick's and left.

* * *

There was a lot to do before they parted. Denise made a list with all the medicines and supplies they might need in the future, even though they all agreed on bringing as many things as they could.

"How are you?" Lux asked.

"Good, I'm good. I..." she thought of something to say. She was just able to nod repeatedly "And how are you? You seem to be doing right."

"Yeah, actually... Patrick told me he would take care of me from now on... he said you told him you have no experience with pregnancies, and he does."

"Yeah, right. You'll be fine, he is a nice guy."

"Alright."

"Anything else?" Denise asked, impatient.

"I get it. I think I do." she bit her lip, hesitant. "Don't feel bad, it is normal to be confused sometimes. She knew you didn't mean wrong to her."

"What? Are you really doing this?" Denise ranted, annoyed. "You are always bitching about how much you hate people messing in your stuff, and now you come to give your opinion about my relation with Tara, now that she is dead? How dare you!"

"Well, you know what? You broke her heart, and she died sad for you. That's my opinion."

Lux picked to packets of vitamins and left.

* * *

Lux's phone number remained sunk at the bottom of Daryl's old backpack, the one he had with him before he reached Alexandria with the group. When he arrived at the community, he hid the bag inside a small room in the armory, with more belongings of his friends. He started using another bigger that belonged to Stanley, and now he didn't use. Now that he was packing for a long trip, he picked it to check what there was inside.

He found her number and put it in a drawer, in the big bedroom of the house which he now shared with her. He then took the old backpack to the bathroom and locked himself in.

* * *

"What are you gonna do the next days here?" Lux was talking with Maggie while packing.

"There are a lot of issues to manage with Hilltop, and that will keep us busy for long. Then there's the garden, I have a lot of help now, though Glenn doesn't like it... and then the kids. We still have Carol, Ben and Deanna to help me with them, and also Carl and Enid, who are quite mature... I think we will do fine."

"I don't feel quite right about all this. I mean... it's fine now because we are a proper troop, but I feel like it will be my last time away. For real."

"Don't say that. At first the baby will keep you busy all the time, but then you must have a break sometimes and breathe fresh air, don't you think?"

"And what about... I mean, there are a lot of people to look after the babies, but what if you are away too?" Lux asked, worried. "I would feel better about it if you were here when I'm away."

"I had not thought about that. And there is also the problem of feeding them..."

"Yeah. We should take advantage of breastfeeding, not to depend on formula."

"Let's set a deal." She sat opposite her, on the bed. "When our babies are born, we can be both in Alexandria at the same time, but we won't be away together. There will always be one of us here to look after them both."

"Yeah! That would be great! That way we can even breastfeed them both, if needed."

"And we won't relay on the others completely, especially Carl, he must be very tired of looking after Judith, and now with all of those new kids around..."

"Yes, that's it. We will make mummy shifts here"

* * *

Daryl kept looking at the stuff he found in the backpack, spread on the floor: old tools he didn't need anymore, stones for making fire, worn out cloths, pocket knives, a broken torch, another flask... and that packet of condoms. He didn't remember where it came from, or why he kept it, yet there it was. He did remember finding it when he arrived in Alexandria, and brought the useful things to the new backpack, but he didn't pick it because he didn't think he would need them. Because he never felt like having sex. Or he did, but not that much.

Because he missed Lux so much he didn't really feel like touching another woman. Until now.

He picked the packet and put it in the new backpack, stuffed with all the equipment he would need for the trip. He hid the backpack in a cupboard, and went to talk with the group at Rick's house.

* * *

"We have talked about it and the best option is to split and go in different convoys at different time, that way we won't get trapped all together if things go wrong." Gordon was talking fast because he was visibly nervous. "These here are the checkpoints, where we must stop and communicate with the rest."

"How many groups are you thinking of?" Rick asked.

"Three. Two from here, one from our base in the mountains. We will meet at the bullet workshop."

"I think it's fine." Rick agreed.

"Then, the first will be going tomorrow, from the base. Forty soldiers."

"So many?" Michonne asked.

"The first is the biggest, to clean and deliver news if the road is in bad condition."

"Sounds like cannon fodder." Lux pointed.

Gordon looked at her, very serious. "It is. That's how my people serve yours. You're welcome."

"Well, I get it." Rick replied. "The first of us will be going the day after tomorrow, early, and then the last ones in the afternoon. I'm going in the morning. The rest, do as you like."

"I'll go with you." Abraham said.

"Me too." backed Sasha.

"I'll go in the next one." Michonne added "I have a lot to do at the towers, to organize the shifts and such."

"Daryl, what are you doing?" Rick asked, casually.

He kept quiet for a while. "I'll go in the last one too. That way Lux won't be so exposed."

"You are always in between the first line and the third, now." Michonne mocked.

Daryl kept staring at the map without saying a word.

"I'll go in the last too." Heath said, to break the tension. "I don't even know if Stanley is aware of all this."

"Wait, aren't we counting on Carol ever again?" Sasha asked.

"I wouldn't bet for that." Rick answered "She wished us luck and that was it."

"Too bad." Michonne said. "I'm leaving for my shift, and then I'll be home preparing stuff. See you, and have a nice trip."

* * *

The next two days were very busy for them all, some of them had to prepare for the trip and the rest had to organize themselves to stay strong while they were gone. Lux noticed Daryl was very distant, but she blamed it on his tension before the trip.

She went to a dumping site next to the walls, where they used to throw away some material that could be reused for many works. Carl was playing with a rubber band, trying to make a slingshot.

"Hi. How are you?" Lux asked.

"Good. I don't know. I don't want my father to leave."

"I know, but don't worry, you'll be fine here. There are a lot of people looking after the community."

"It's not about that, I'm not worried for myself, I'm worried for him. I'm scared of what could happen to him."

"Fuck, you've grown up for real." she mumbled. "Hey, can you help me? I'm looking for some tires or what's not, to make a... well, I don't know how to call it."

"What?"

"I need something to protect my tummy, but I don't want to be too uncomfortable. Like and armor, but just in the front."

"Oh, like the samurai... or the ninja turtles."

"Yeah, sorta."

"Let's look around here. Be careful, there are nails and glass."

"Do you come here a lot?"

"Yes. When I don't want to be found by Michonne when she wants me to look after my sister... or by Enid, she bugs me up."

"Poor thing. You are too attractive, with those weasel eyes God gave you."

"I've never beaten a pregnant woman, and I can't start with you because you would beat me back harder."

"That's wise thinking, kid."

They found a piece of wide tire, flexible, and she took it home and washed it properly.

She then cut it with the proper size and shape, wrapped it in cotton and sew it all around, and made two hangers for the shoulders, out of apron ribbons. She tried it on, over her jumper and under a loose coat, and confirmed it suited her. Finally, she undressed again, picked a big piece of soft nylon and wrapped her breasts in, without a bra, to have them covered, without any piece that could harm her if she got attacked. They were getting huge and sensitive.

Now she was ready.

* * *

"How is Abraham doing?" Lux asked, already on the Marine vehicle, that the soldiers had brought to Alexandria. They were at the back of the vehicle, the rest were talking about strategies to attack.

"Quite bad, honestly." Ethan replied, sitting opposite her. "I saw him this morning at the bullet workshop and he was very nervous, watching Sasha all the time, asking for possible walkers around, and telling us to stay alert in case we were being stalked. He's paranoid."

"Damn, poor guy."

"And how about yours?" he looked at Daryl, sitting in the middle of the front part. "I heard he was obsessed with your safety."

"Not so much. I mean, he is defensive of me, but it's just for his legacy," she pointed at her tummy "he doesn't care about me" she laughed.

"Yeah, right. He would be sitting here with you, if he cared so much."

She changed her mood "Whoa, dude. That's harsh. You're an asshole."

The group stopped at the bullet workshop, where Patrick was waiting for Lux, and preparing her supplies for the trip.

"Okay girl, this is for you: vitamins, pads, meds for your stomach..."

"Thanks..."

"Do you need anything else?" Patrick asked, kindly

"Well I... this is gonna sound stupid but... do you have anything for the nightmares?"

"What?"

"It's just... I sleep a lot, but I wake up in panic because I have these shitty nightmares that I die, or the baby dies, and I freak out, and sometimes I wake up screaming... and I barely rest, no matter how much I sleep. And I don't want to go away like this."

"Fuck. I didn't know."

"I never told you. They started long ago. And now they are getting worse."

"I could give you anti depressants." he suggested "That would do it, I guess."

"No, not that. That's bullshit. I was thinking of something soft to calm me down.

"I'm afraid it's not about that, honey. You are depressed and you need help."

She stared at him, ashamed.

"I just wish you were happy, but you're not. And you're going to have a child. You must be very strong. Tough."

"Maybe..."

"Lux, look at me. Try honesty. Do you think you could kill yourself?"

She whimpered.

"I don't mean you want to do it, I know you don't. But... do you think you could do it? Do you think you're able to kill yourself?"

She scratched her head and looked down. "I might." she muttered, her voice trembling.

"Then, knock yourself out." he took many pills out of a bottle and put them in a small bag. "Two of these, once a day. And if someone asks, they are vitamins, or pills for the circulation. You might pee some more, but it's normal, in your condition. And if you sleep too much, just tell them to wake you up more insistingly. But help yourself. Don't give up, please."

"You care a lot for me." she replied, overwhelmed, putting the bag in a pocket inside her backpack. "Or maybe it's just for my baby, the youth of the nation." she pulled a sad smirk.

"I like you. I don't usually like people. You are the first person worth looking after that I've met in a while." He caressed her chin. "Stay strong out there, please."

"Thanks. Thanks for everything, man. You're rad."

"By the way, when you're there, you'll meet Steven. He's the doctor, or at least one of the doctors in New York. Don't mind him, he's a jerk."

"What do you mean?" Lux frowned.

"Don't listen to him, in general. He will check on you, I guess. He's a good doctor, so do as he says, just don't pay attention to the rest."

"Okay then."

"Take care. See you in a while."

"Bye."

Daryl was waiting for her outside. The night was cold and dark.

"We will be driving until three or four, and then set a camp, but don't worry, you'll stay inside. Warm and fuzzy."

"Are you gonna go with me now?"

"Er... why?"

She looked at him straight in the eye, suspicious. "Why not?"

"We are talking about stuff to do at the mall when we arrive..."

"Excuse me for interrupting." she said "But I swear, if you're going to ignore me all the ride, I just don't know what the fuck I'm doing here."

"Hey, don't say that... Just let me speak to Rick a bit now, you get in and I'll be with you all night, okay?" he kissed her lips softly.

"Alright, see you in a minute." she turned around and found Michonne looking at them from the door of the shop. Then Michonne looked away and went near Rick.

Lux never forgot that weird gaze of hers.


	20. Chapter 20

**Based on season 6, with a new female character, using her POV. Warning for explicit language and violence, mentions of sexual abuse and suicide.**

Lux used to like malls. All the way to Washington, she recalled the ones her parents took her to when she was little, and others her friends and her used to go when they were in high school. They were big, wide, bright with sunlight coming from the glass ceilings, and stuffed with colored furniture, plants and fountains. There were arcades, cinemas, clothes shops, restaurants, bowling alleys... and she remembered the first Sephora store she had seen, right before she dropped out of class; she felt like a princess or a super model, even though she couldn't afford to buy anything. The aisles in malls were nice, there was music all around, and her friends and her looked cool just walking around, laughing at stupid jokes or gossip, and flirting with the boys. Malls were comfortable places to be.

That was why she felt so shocked and downhearted when they arrived at the _Cedar Valley Store Arena_ , after a fourteen hour trip. It was a giant cemetery, dirty, broken down and noisy, due to the hundreds of walkers inside and around it.

They stopped and twenty soldiers went out to secure some meters ahead. They then stepped down, peed, stretched and organized in groups to get in. The sun was rising.

"Right, so there is Ethan, Mike, Sasha, Abraham, Lux and Daryl in this one." Rick was serious but excited at the same time. "These are your radios, your guns and some more supplies. We are opening from five points around and meeting at the hall. We have no evidence of living people, but stay aware. You are breaking through one of the main entrances, the ventilation and emergency exits are for the soldiers, we will be on the group next to you. Is everything clear?"

"Yup." Daryl replied. "Do you need something special from Victoria's Secret?" He winked at Rick.

He laughed. "Bring me something that matches your underwear. Just to make it clear, no one is entering Wal-mart before we all meet in there."

"Cool." Lux was starting to feel very uncomfortable.

They headed to their entrance and chose their positions.

"You just go after me, no matter what." Daryl whispered, in front of her.

Lux felt better, but still there was something wicked about that place.

The doors were open, but there was a huge wooden panel blocking the entrance. All them helped removing it, while Lux and Sasha covered from behind.

When they got in, there were no walkers in sight. They couldn't see anything actually, because the roof was not made of glass, and the building was in gloom, foul, stinky, so stuffed with objects blocking the aisle, that it was hard to look further. They had to wait until their eyes got used to darkness, while taking their torches out of the backpacks.

Lux realized she had not been in a closed space for long. Years, perhaps. And she broke down inside.

 _"_ I don't want to do this, I don't want to do this, I don't fucking want to do this." she kept mumbling, while pulling her rifle.

"Girl, calm the fuck down, nobody wants to be here right now. It's duty." Mike, a very young, slim, braggy boy from Philadelphia, responded. "Just shoot some zombies down and you'll start feeling better."

"I hope it's about that." she replied.

Daryl held his torch with his mouth and made signals for the others to spread as wide as the aisle. They went ahead until they found a group of walkers blocking a corridor, and him and Ethan put them down in silence, using their knives. Lux suddenly felt nauseated, but she breathed deeply and managed to stand still. She went with Daryl on the front, and walked some more meters. Then, she felt someone pulling her hair softly, and she smiled.

"Dude, I'm fine." she whispered. "Don't worry."

"What?" Daryl muttered, from her right side. "Who are you talking to?"

"Fuck." She turned around and saw one big man, possibly black, though there was no way to tell apart, since the upper half of his face wasn't even there anymore. He kept grabbing a thin lock of her hair, and when she moved away frantically, he leaned on her and pulled it away. Daryl tried to stab him, but there was another one trying to bite him. Lux pulled her right knife and stabbed her assaulter, first in the chest, to push him away, and then in his skull. Then she kicked him again to pull the knife, though she was not able to, and he fell over on her. Abraham pushed him away.

She hid a scream of panic and checked herself; she had no injuries, just some scratches she got while falling among piles of furniture, placed to secure the aisle. But the walker had not touched her. Abraham couldn't believe it. He helped her standing up.

"Girl, you just dodged it! You dodged death!"

"Oh, shut up." she whined.

They kept walking slowly, getting used to darkness. They turned their torches off, as they started to see a bit, thanks to the dim light of a hall before them.

"Is here where we are meeting them?" Sasha asked.

"No, it's the next one." Mike replied.

Fortunately, now they had a crystal ceiling above them, and there was some sunlight. Not much either, because the roof was dusted and covered with dead birds. Lux had never thought about it, but she realized she had seen many roofs like that when she used to climb trees to escape monsters. It was just that she had never seen it underneath. It was even worse.

"Can we start looking for food and stuff?" Mike asked, excited. He was looking at a delicatessen shop on the right.

"No, we stay together and go ahead." Daryl replied, bothered. "Don't waste time, nor lives."

"There could be walkers inside and they could follow us." Sasha added.

"Fuck, you're right." Abraham replied.

"Damn, alright." Daryl replied. "Five minutes, we wait for you here."

Ethan went inside with them, and him and Lux stood out.

"How are you? You slept a lot last night." Daryl asked.

"Yeah, I was tired, I've been very nervous."

"For the trip?"

"Yeah... and I don't know, we..." she looked at him eye to eye. "We haven't talked much lately."

"We don't talk much ever. You talk and I don't listen." he laughed.

"Fuck you." she replied.

* * *

Tara used to play with Lux's hair sometimes. Not because she liked her, that she secretly did, but just as her friend. She would braid it casually while talking, or waiting for something dangerous, like now. That was yet another reason to miss her: having to braid her own hair, to wear it more comfortably and avoiding walkers and bad guys grabbing it. She resolved to chop it off again soon.

Abraham came out with both hands full of cans.

"Well, caviar." He said, joyful. "What can I say, we must be doing something right."

"I don't know what is this, but it seems good. "Mike said, holding a jar of something similar to pickles. "I'm totally trying it."

"Where's Ethan?" Lux asked.

"He came after us, didn't he?" Sasha wondered.

"I thought he was at the shop." Daryl said, getting nervous.

"I haven't heard him in a while." Abraham pulled his Kalashnikov and entered the shop again.

"Where are you?" Rick asked on the radio. "We are waiting for you."

He had not heard him because he couldn't speak. Ethan had been bitten in the face right after entering the shop, by a walker who was trapped between two cupboards. The bite removed his mouth almost completely, and he was barely able to make a sound. Daryl found him before Abraham, and fortunately he ended him without making a noise. He wasn't alone there, the cupboards were a trap someone had put there to stop walkers coming from a storing room.

"We are going now." Daryl replied on the radio.

"What happened? Ethan?" Lux started to panic.

"Shut up and run after me, don't ask." Daryl said "Abraham, come on, we're out."

"But we can kill them!" Abraham wouldn't go after him.

"I'm feeling bad about here, it's too silent, too dark, and we can't kill them all. "Daryl grunted, fuming. "Let's go."

"Shit. Shit shit shit." Mike sobbed.

They reached the others after some minutes, and all them formed a circle.

"We are not alone." Rick stated. "We have found living ones, scattered, probably waiting for us. We killed two who were threatening us."

"Where's Gordon?" Sasha asked.

"I talked to him a while ago, they are on the first floor. They will come down soon. It's easier to check this way."

"We lost Ethan" Lux said, absent, crossing her arms.

"I'm sorry." Rick replied. "Look, I know it's shit, but we stay here, together, and wait. Watch for living and dead ones."

They turned around and Lux saw a group of walkers coming from the aisle they had been in.

"I go for the ones on the left." she said to Daryl.

"Are you sure? From here?"

"Yeah, let's see how you do with the others."

"Okay, deal."

She threw her knives, one after the other, and hit one of them in the head. The other knife fell on the floor and made a metallic sound.

"Fuck."

Daryl shot his crossbow and hit both of the ones he had been assigned, and the one Lux couldn't reach. Then he ran to grab the knives.

"You didn't have to pick them, I could do it."

"Don't worry, I know you can." Daryl replied, amused.

* * *

Whilst waiting for the other group, Lux couldn't help noticing the attitude that Daryl and Michonne maintained towards each other. She had seen something suspicious before, during the previous months, however it was only now when she figured out what it was: they both didn't talk naturally, just like the rest; they shared looks when they agreed on something, they sometimes had conversations apart when they thought she wasn't looking... they didn't definitely behave like the others in public. It suddenly hit her: they both and herself had never been alone in the same room since she arrived at the community, that is, ever. That meant they were careful regarding their encounters, whatever the reason.

And there were very few possible reasons for that.

* * *

They heard noises upstairs, and stood onward. There were machine guns shooting and confusing commands.

"Alright" Gordon said, coming down the stairs. "It is clear above. What about here?"

"There are some lose ends in a storing room, that way." Rick pointed.

"Okay, we'll take care of it now." Gordon said, after he sent five soldiers towards the shop. "Now, for the others: We are going to Wal-Mart. Anyone who doesn't want to, please feel free to help outside, watching and covering us."

Nobody replied, and the sound of the helicopter hid the awkward silence.

"Let's go, then." Gordon went on "Gather in groups of five, and those ones will attach in two. Kill walkers one by one; don't panic, first the ones that mean a threat, then the rest. Then we will talk food and supplies. So please don't pick anything for yourselves."

She was terrified of entering a big store, but she preferred that to staying outside in the cold, with so many soldiers. Besides, she decided she wouldn't leave Daryl and Michonne alone, ever, as long as she could.

The store was locked down; aside from the metallic blinds, there were chains, traps and junk piles placed before them. It took the soldiers half an hour to open them, while the rest discussed details and theories of what could be there inside.

"Fuck, I could use a cigarette right now." Lux whined, anxious.

Abraham handed her one.

"Dude, I can't, it could harm the baby."

"Woman, you are pregnant with Terminator." he replied "Nothing can harm him, just perhaps his mom freaking out."

Everyone around burst in laughter.

"Alright, that what doesn't kill you makes you stronger." Lux admitted.

"Are you familiar with Nietzsche?" Gordon mocked, coming towards them.

"No." she replied, lighting up the cigar "My older brother liked Star Trek."

"What's with Daniel?" Heath asked. "He seems very upset."

"He's mourning Ethan" Mike replied "They were very close. Very close... friends."

There was an awkward silence.

"Wait... sorry but I'm seeing a pattern here." Lux inquired, blowing smoke "How come all you guys here like dick? Is it just for the lack of women?"

Another silence.

"Well," Gordon replied "the explanation is both amusing and horrifying."

"Do you remember 'Don't ask, don't tell' policy? Well, it was more of 'Everybody knows about us but we're not talking about it'. We were sort of comfortable at the National Guard, but I knew homosexuals and trans people were harassed badly at the Marines and Seals. However, when everything ended and we were surrounded by walkers in Washington, some things changed. The Marines took control, and one of their first measures was isolating homosexuals. Like that. They argued safety, morals, rape threats, hygiene... Whatever you might think of. There were barracks for straight males, straight females, gays and lesbians. Don't even ask about the rest." He sighed deeply. "Things went okay for some days, but then we stopped going outside to rescue people, because we didn't have enough forces to protect the base. The capital of the country. We ran short of ammo, food, medicines and everything, so we basically locked down. Don't ask me if I felt guilty because the panic spread quick, and we couldn't figure out what to do. The thing was, as we lost soldiers due to walker attacks, riots and suicide, instead of concentrating the remaining people, they scattered us further. Stupid, right? Damn stupid. One night, around April, one of the fences crumbled down due to walkers pushing, and they broke in. They started with the straight men's place, which was the closest. Then, the straight women. We had already left our barracks and me and other guys tried to rescue the lesbians, who were only poor Janice and Drew, but their room was empty. We never found them. We entered a bunker only the Majors and Generals knew about, and endured there for a week. Then, people from other bases found us, I don't know how, and took us to the old base in the mountains."

* * *

The soldiers pulled up the blinds and got ready to open fire to whatever came from inside. Rick and his group stood back, pulling their guns.

There was bad news and good news. The good news was that the ceiling had plenty of skylights so they had daylight to explore. The bad news was that there were walkers everywhere.

"Let's do as we said." Gordon said. "Stick to your group and don't stop. Kill first the ones that block your way."

Lux was in the same group as Rick, Michonne, Daryl and Sasha. Abraham and Heath had chosen to go with the group right before them. Gordon made a signal and they entered the store through the counters towards the car supplies section. There were torches, oil, tire patches, batteries... and the damn stench of rotten food that polluted all the store. That place seemed to have remained untouched for ages. Perhaps the ones who entered to steal things were trapped, dead and transformed. By someone who never entered the store again to grab anything.

She confronted a big woman, who had just one arm, and walked leaning on the right, for some reason she didn't want to discover. Then she killed a man, then a boy, then... She didn't know what that was.

She kept stabbing and kicking out one after the other, and she began to feel an old emotion, that she had trapped deep down, in order to keep sane: they were actual people. Dead, transformed, rotten, but people. She had tried to forget it long ago, but now she was going back to the start. That was what Michonne had told her, but she thought it would be something good, and now she realized it was awful. Damn Michonne.

She tried to rest for a second, hidden between two stands filled with broken light bulbs, and she took a sip of water. Suddenly she heard Sasha screaming behind her: there were two walkers grabbing her, and the one on her back was almost biting her neck. Lux ran towards her frantically and cut off the hands of the creature. Sasha then was free to push back the one that was scratching her arms from the front. Rick helped the girls escaping from some other walkers around and called Gordon for backup. Them three gathered with the others back against a big stall which had been secured before.

"I think this is almost over, we are doing well now." Mike said, trying to calm down.

"I hope you're right, because I'm fucking tired." Heath whined.

"I'm sorry." Rick gasped, beside Lux. "I really thought this wouldn't be so hard."

"It's okay, you never figure out until you're there." she said.

"I don't mean that, I..." he looked at her, apologetic "I wanted you to come, but I didn't tell you why."

"What?"

"I was worried for you. Daryl told me you were upset and I thought some action would do you good. He didn't agree, but when you accepted..."

"Gosh, you could have told me the truth! I'm having a bad time here, I'm not the same as before!" she cried "I don't think I'm doing well right now!"

"Don't say that, it's fine." he grabbed her hand, gently "Just try and stay focused."

She gave him a weird glance, but she didn't complain. He made her feel good. They remained like that, quiet, for some time, without the others noticing.

"Alright, this is it." Gordon said. "we're finished, we are calling the guys outside and settling a camp to watch."

"There is something weird about this place." Lux wondered. "These stores usually have a garden and terrace section, you know, with the plastic tables, the flowerpots... It's like this Wal-mart lacks something."

"Why the fuck would we want to grab plastic tables?" Daryl grunted, exhausted and grumpy.

"She's right. We have to find that section." Rick replied, excited "We need seeds!"

"Fuck, you're right!" Sasha claimed "Let's stick to the edges and look for doors or hidden aisles."

"Perhaps it's easier." Heath said. "Check the white walls, clear, with no stalls or posters. One of them could be another blind."

They did so, while terminating the remaining walkers around. After running along the edges of the store for some minutes, Abraham found a white blind, hidden behind piles of boxes. Rick asked him to keep quiet, while trying to watch through the holes.

"I think there is someone here." Rick whispered "Maybe the rest of that group we found before."

"Do you want to go further?" Gordon asked, loading his rifle again.

"Totally, we've come to gather everything we can." he replied, determined.

"Okay, we need four on top, the rest stay behind, don't open fire unless I say so."

Lux moved backwards, instinctively. She saw Michonne going forward and felt fragile and jealous.

They remained so quiet they were able to hear noises and conversations on the other side, which meant those people were waiting for them, exactly the same as they did. The atmosphere was so tense they started to sweat heavily.

"What do we do?" Abraham whispered, on front. "Can't we just say hello and try and come to an agreement?"

"Would you come to an agreement with someone who just said that they are stealing everything you have and probably shoot you?" Daryl grunted "Because I wouldn't."

"We hit the lockers with the hammers, pull the blinds up and pray." Rick said "Go."

Mike and Daniel opened the blinds, and the group saw exactly what Lux have imagined: plastic chairs and tables, folded portable pools, flowerpots, garden lamps. But that part of the store didn't have skylights, so it was pitch dark.

"Stay back." Daryl muttered to Lux, firmly "Stay fucking back."

Michonne went with him towards the new section. Lux felt so bad she wished she had not gone. She wished she wasn't pregnant.

There was a walker coming along the garden furniture aisle. He was huge, fat, his guts coming out, his big fingers trying to grab the people coming inside. Daryl shot him and an arrow hit him in the middle of his face. He fell down and the ground throbbed. There was not a living person in sight.

"Hello! National Guard here." Gordon shouted. "We are the United States Army. We won't harm you."

There was no response.

"Great, that was great." Daryl whined. "You could have brought cookies to greet them."

"Shut up." Michonne muttered. "They are on our left."

All them turned to that side and saw nothing but three piles of plastic chairs, two meters tall, shaking about to fall down.

"How many are you?" a young voice, presumably of a girl, asked.

"Er... thirty here, fifty outside." Gordon replied.

"Bullshit, I just saw twenty outside and you're not more than ten here."

"Well okay, then tell me how many are you."

"Ten. There were twelve of us before, but you killed two." she replied, sad.

While they were talking, one of the strangers came out of the section and approached Lux and Sasha from the right side. He stabbed Lux on her stomach, and the knife hit the rubber shield. He looked at her, puzzled.

"Wrong place, fucker." she turned to him and kicked him in his guts. He knelt, moaning in pain. She was about to pull her gun, but then came Rick running and bashed his head with a torch. He hit him four times, until Abraham stopped him.

"Hey, enough." he said, grabbing his arm, already stained with blood.

"He is my father." the girl from inside came out, pulling a machete. "Leave him alone." she was red haired, thin and not older than twelve. "Please leave him be."

"Right." Gordon said "we are not harming anyone else. Just tell us how many you are and put down your guns."

"No way, you are invading our place." she commanded, pointing her machete towards his face.

"He just stabbed my pregnant wife." Daryl replied, threatening her. "Don't test me."

"Fine, we are all very nervous and tired." Michonne said, raising her hands. "I give in."

Abraham, Sasha and Heath did the same. Lux laid her desert eagle on the ground. Rick held her tight.

"Are you okay?"

"Yeah... Don't worry." She felt awkward and comfortable at the same time.

"What is your name?" Gordon asked, offering his hand to the man.

"Chip. Charles, whatever." he shook his hand. "I haven't told my name to anyone in a long time."

"Good. I am Major Gordon Ramsey and these are the people from... Virginia. Do you know where are the rest of you?"

"They are hidden at the back of this section. They are my brothers and my mum." the girl didn't look at him straight "She can't move. Then there more women somewhere."

"Well, don't be scared, just show me." Michonne approached her, in a friendly mood. "My name is Michonne."

"My name is Cherry. My mum needs a doctor." the girl was in shock. "I'm cold."

"Okay, I'll tell Steven." Gordon replied.

Lux handed her a sweater, which suited her, because she was tall and already developing as a woman.

"Alright, we'll go out to talk, but we're together now, okay?" Rick said "we'll heal your wounds, Charles. It's fine."

Lux and Michonne came inside the section, where the air was thick; it smelled of rotten flesh, but there were no walkers inside.

"She's hurt." Cherry said "she was bitten some days ago, and..."

There was a woman laying inside a camp tent; her leg had been cut off from below the knee, but she had not been assisted by a doctor, and the infection was destroying the tissues. She was unconscious, and her skin had a color between white, blue and gray.

"Fuck. Fuck shit." Lux muttered, about to cry.

"Can you heal her?" Cherry begged "Your friend said a doctor was coming."

"I don't know, my dear." Michonne admitted, upset "He will try, I'm sure."

"We'll need help to grab her out of here." Lux said.

* * *

"Rick, can you come for a second?" Daryl asked.

"Yeah, what's up?"

"That's what I was going to ask you. What the fuck was that before?"

"How?"

"That show when you almost killed that guy. Since when do you care so much?"

"Sorry? Are you angry that I saved her? By the way, where were you?"

"I'm not talking about that, I'm saying you turned into a psychopath and I need to know why."

"I don't get you, I really don't." Rick walked away from him and combed his hair back. "What keeps you so busy lately?"

"What?"

"You heard me. You are never with her when she needs you, you are always somewhere else. Don't make me say it."

Daryl gave him a furious glance and turned away. "I have stuff to do. See you."

"You are right, you are damn right. Go. Bye."

* * *

The group was hanging outside at night. There were many people altogether, so they felt safe to make campfires. They had been camping at the mall for five days, and they had secured the area surrounding it. They were satisfied, but exhausted and upset. Molly, Cherry's mother, wasn't getting better, and despite the antibiotics and treatments, time was running out for her. Aside, they had not found what they looking for: there were seeds and supplies inside the store, however there was no food or medicines. Furthermore, the soldiers from New York (twenty men and women) were rude and it was hard to put up with them. And Daryl and Rick wouldn't speak to each other.

The group slept in tents, except for Lux and Cherry, who always slept inside the Marine car, and other women who slept inside other vehicles. Nobody slept inside the mall, because it was a maze and difficult to observe as a whole.

Molly was laying inside a tent, but Steven had taken her out, to be able to come and go and bring medicines easier. The hospital tent was near the camp, but apart so the group didn't see anything. However, they could hear it.

* * *

"Yo, I'm going to sleep." Lux said, exhausted. "I've had enough of today. I'm going inside the Marine car. Anyone coming?"

Nobody answered.

"There's room for like eight people. Mike is staying awake tonight and he told me to bring inside whoever I wanted."

"I'll go then." Sasha replied, sleepy. "I'm not feeling good. Abraham?"

"Don't worry, I'm fine. I have to play the big boy."

"Ha ha, you idiot. Good night."

Lux stood still before Daryl without saying anything.

"What?"

"Nothing, I though you could be better inside."

"I'm fine..."

"It's cold, you can use my rucksack. I'll take Tara's."

"You don't have to behave like my mum." Daryl whined.

"And you don't have to behave like a cunt. Bye."

* * *

Daryl had slept with Lux a couple of times during those days, but he didn't feel comfortable.

He actually thought of getting further with her secret crush, but they both hadn't found a moment apart when they felt safe; whether it was him or her, one of them was reluctant to engage sex encounters, thought they kissed, a lot. Passionately, roughly, tenderly, whenever they could. It felt arousing and liberating, though they knew it could eventually get them into trouble, or even killed.

"We look like dumb school kids." Michonne said the day before, hidden with him at a candy shop, while he licked her neck, slowly.

"I didn't do this at school, I was a loner." Daryl whispered, caressing her waist under her shirt.

"Oh, those are the worse, trust me." she replied, just when Abraham was passing by. She left the shop and went away. He didn't catch them.

* * *

Lux began to feel better thanks to medication, though she kept wondering was she was doing there. There were a lot of people working hard to finish the last walkers and conquer the area, so she felt she would do better back in Alexandria, helping organizing the supplies and resting. They had not had another rough day like the first one, but she was tired of watching, and she had a bad feeling about all that. She didn't trust the new soldiers, and she thought the area surrounding the mall was difficult to protect; too many trees, too much bush, and days were getting darker and shorter quickly.

* * *

On the sixth day there was a meeting with Rick, Gordon, Michonne, Daryl, Abraham and General Gomez, the chief of the troop from New York. They talked about distributing the plunder, and the conversation was very tense, because there was too little to share.

"You'll get the seeds, that's for sure, because we are not turning into harvesters now." Gomez said. "You'll share them with Hilltop if you feel like."

"That is the only reason Paul Rovia came here, actually" Gordon mocked.

"Yeah, whatever. The car supplies are divided in three, and then..."

"We could use building materials, we need a lot." Rick said.

"We need more, I'm afraid." Gomez replied, challenging him. "I was thinking of taking them all for us, if I'm honest."

"Well, that is a problem." Abraham said. "We'll have to discuss."

"Maybe there is a way to approach this fairly:" Michonne said. "We won't take into account the size of the places we live in, but the amount of people who live inside."

"I like that." Gordon agreed. "I'll do the figures."

"I'll have a look at them later, but it can work." Gomez admitted.

The meeting finished in a calm way, but there was a thick atmosphere underneath, like poker players who didn't trust one another.

They agreed on leaving two days later, and having soldiers from Virginia and New York defending the area for further missions. The group from Alexandria was glad to go back home, even though things were getting very strange among some of them.

* * *

Daryl didn't want to leave Lux, he really loved her. He was just fed up with protecting her all the time. And he was scared of how things were going to be. And he was curious about how it would be like to have intimacy with other woman, because she had been his first time at it.

* * *

That night all them slept early. Lux however came out of the car one hour later, to give her rucksack to Daryl anyway. She looked for him at the campfire but she only found Michonne.

"Hey, I wanted him to have this... can you keep it?"

"Yes, of course." she replied, nervous.

"Where is Rick?"

"I don't know." she wasn't lying.

Suddenly they heard noises coming out of the hospital tent. They waited and they heard screams and bangs. Some of them stood up and ran towards there, and then Steven came out, blood splashed all over him.

"I killed her. I know it's not polite, but I couldn't waste more drugs on her."

There was a scared silence.

"Indeed he is an asshole." Abraham said.

"Don't mind him." Megan, a forty year old sergeant, replied. "He's just extremely practical. That's how he survived inside NYC subway for two weeks. And he even saved people. You can't be tender in circumstances like those. Not even very human."

"How was it?" Michonne asked.

"I wasn't there, I was on the surface, in a fort we improvised surrounding UN building."

"I mean all of it, in general. I guess you didn't act like they did in Atlanta. And that was harsh."

"Yeah well, as far as I'm concerned, it was the same. Alert, curfew, evacuation, extermination. We used the same napalm shipment all over the country. You never know when the old trends are coming back. But it's true that it was hard to finish them all. You know, apart from the people living on the islands, in houses or apartments, there where thousands of homeless people in NYC at that time. Just taking into account some statistics about underage boys and girls, eleven thousand youngsters in the streets. So when we were set on roofs to shoot anything that was moving after the attack, you didn't even know where they could come from, because they hid everywhere they could, and we had to end them, living or dead."

"You shot living civilians?" Lux asked.

"Can you tell apart bitten or not bitten people from a ten floor block? I'm sorry I can't."

* * *

Lux woke up early in the morning, and the reason made her incredibly happy: she was feeling her baby inside, and it was a nice sensation. It made her forget all the weird moments with Daryl lately. However, her second feeling that day was awful: walkers. Walkers moaning, scratching the car. She was sleeping beside the back door, and they were bumping against it. She got up and bent to look through the windows, and instantly panicked: there were so many walkers she couldn't see the camp. The trees. The mall. She turned around to breathe and recall; there were five people sleeping with her: Sasha, Mike, Cherry and her twin brothers, Cal and Sally. They were good boys, charming, only ten years old.

She looked for a walkie, frantically. In the process she woke up Mike, who had feel asleep without an intention.

"What's up?" he groaned.

"Everything is wrong. Fucked. We're fucked. This is infested with walkers. Where's the damn radio?"

"I had it last night... wait."

"Call for Gordon or Rick, or Daryl... I'll talk to the other adult. Fuck. Fuck."

"Gordon... you copy?" Mike asked

They heard white noise.

"Sasha, hey, listen" Lux whispered, trying not to wake up the children.

"What? What time is it?"

"Close to the end, I might say." Mike replied, looking through the windscreen.

"Six." Lux said. "It's always six in the morning when I get my ass fucked."

"Rick, you copy?" Sasha asked on her walkie, that she had hidden in her backpack.

Lux was looking through the back window again. She reckoned fifty walkers ahead, and she could see the tents among them. They were open, and most of the bags were gone. Not all of them. All of a sudden, something hit the back door heavily: it was Abraham. Dead and brought alive, blind, opening his mouth already dripping blood, and trying to open the door, even though he could only rub it, leaving the glass filthy.

Lux whimpered and opened her eyes wide, in shock. She didn't turn around, so that Sasha didn't see her. She wiped out her tears and grabbed the walkie from Mike's hand, who had approached her to look from behind.

"Rick... are you there? We are inside the Marine car, we are good, just... "she breathed heavily, and sobbed. "Where are you? Please say something."

"Hey, calm down, they will be good." Sasha said, getting closer to her.

"The kids are waking up, we must keep them silent." she replied, to stop her from looking out. "I'm fine, don't worry. I've had it worse. Any ideas of what to do?"

"Er... no. Not at all." Mike admitted. "I'm blocked."

"My dad is outside." Cherry said, waking up. She heard the walkers and started panting and shaking.

"Good, let's begin doing something at least." Lux resolved. She crashed the back door glass "Guys, check your ammo. My rifle is full and loaded. At least we will open our way. Put on the silencers."

Mike did the same at the front and started shooting around. They began to eliminate some monsters but they were opening the way to the others, though things were getting better anyway because there were less and less every time. Lux shot Abraham in the head, holding her breathe.

* * *

But all this is easier to understand if we go back to the previous night.

Right after Lux went to sleep the first time, Michonne disappeared without saying a word, and left Daryl and Rick with the others. All them thought she had gone to pee. They kept talking about the days they had spent there, their past stories, their fear for the cold winter ahead... but Daryl's head was not there. She had told him that they had that last chance, and there was no going back; once they went back to Alexandria, they promised to forget about that, or go ahead and stay together. He had not replied. They thought Rick would go to talk with Gordon to agree on the last issues remaining, and he would invent something to disappear, once some people went to sleep. But all the people alive in the whole damn country were there, around the campfire. He resolved to go for a fag nearby, to clear his mind and get further from the rest, at least. He still didn't know what to do when someone took his left hand.

"You are late as fuck, dude." she dragged him far among the trees.

"Great to see you too."

"This is ridiculous." she groaned. "We don't have time to go to the mall. I don't know where the fuck is Gordon."

"I bet he found love, and he is having a better time than us."

"Well, there is only one option then..."

"The Corolla?"

"No way, it's too far, they would see us."

"Then?"

"Kiss me" Michonne said, grabbing his neck from behind.

"No, wait, no way..." he said some minutes later, when he was already unbuttoning her jeans.

"Why? What's wrong?"

"I'm not doing anything here. I don't know, it's... it's gross."

"You've done worse, I have too."

He didn't reply.

"Dude... I think you have worse problems than the place."

"Perhaps I like you too much for this."

"Perhaps you feel so bad about yourself that you haven't got a proper boner in a week." She said, putting on her shirt. "Sorry to put it so harsh."

"You also feel bad. You have also stopped me some times."

"I am scared. I am terrified that Rick catches us, and he is so popular and everybody loves him so much that any person who finds out will tell him. You said it, we would fuck up bad, it would be the end of the community."

"But you said you're leaving him anyway."

"I am. But that is one thing, breaking up and moving alone, and then later on, you could leave your girl... if you ever do. But if they catch us cheating here, and there is a quarrel, and let alone Lux freaking out and setting the tents on fire..."

"Yeah, she would do that."

"Are you gonna leave her?"

"I don't know. No. I love her. I wish she was like before..."

"There was no before. She was always like she is now. The only difference is that you are having a child and you're terrified, and I get it, I was too, but she is totally capable of defending herself until the end."

"I hope so."

"Then we're set? No more hiding among the trees for us?"

"No."

He wanted to say something to make her feel better, but he was too confused. He wanted her badly, but there were too many mixed feelings inside him.

"Okay. Good night Daryl." she kissed him, softly, with tears on her eyes.

"Good night." he didn't know whether he felt more sad or awkward.

She left and Daryl waited a good time to leave after her. He had lit another cigar when he heard noises behind him.

"Hey." Rick said "I thought I would never find you." He punched him right in the nose, so hard it broke.

* * *

When Michonne arrived back ant the camp, something was wrong. Rick wasn't there. She didn't ask for him, because she didn't know what would be more suspicious. She waited, and then came Lux, and she went back to sleep again, and nor Rick or Daryl came back for a long time.

* * *

"Wait." Daryl said, grabbing his bleeding nose. "It's not what it looks like."

"Oh come on, don't come saying that. I'm not stupid."

"It's over now, I promise. It was nothing, it was something innocent."

Rick punched him again, this time on his left cheekbone.

"You are a son of a bitch, and I have never been so disappointed."

Daryl looked at him in disbelief. "But you're not listening to me! We're finished! We just kissed!"

"It's not about Michonne, you asshole! You don't get it." He bent down to rest and and take a breathe. "It's your wife, she's in love with you, she's pregnant, she's here outside for you... and you flirt with another?!"

"That is why it's over, because it would have been a mistake."

Rick stared at him, trying to understand. "You already fucked up, dude. You already did. It doesn't make a difference if you hooked or not. I already hate you."

"Why?"

"Because I love your girl and there is no way to fix this."

* * *

Michonne woke up with the sounds of screams and fights. Heath was already opening her tent.

"What the fuck is going on?"

"Get up, grab your guns, we're out."

"What?"

"To put it short, Molly had transformed and bitten her husband and he said nothing. By the time we noticed he wasn't doing good, he was biting Steven. There was only Abraham and I watching. And we have wasted a long time looking for Daryl and Rick. We are gathering together at the mall, because the way is open towards there, but the soldiers from New York, who were closer to those tents, are already down. Or up."

"And how come you are just telling me about this?" she said, already getting out.

"Because I was busy keeping alive, and Steve was good one hour ago."

They found Rick and Daryl on the way to the mall. Both of them were wounded, but there was no time for questions. They told them what happened.

"Lux and Sasha and still inside the car..." Daryl said.

"We couldn't reach them in time, we'll try in the morning." Gordon replied, visibly stressed. "The most important thing now is isolating ourselves and avoiding the walkers from reaching us." he was locking the front door. "I only have seven soldiers alive."

"Where is Abraham?" Rick asked.

"Don't ask." Heath replied, upset. "He was the third one to get caught."

* * *

Lux and Sasha were able to open a patch of clear field behind the car. Mike was not lucky doing so at the front, but is was enough to escape.

"Rick..." Lux was trying again. "Rick, you copy?"

"Hi, I'm Gordon. We are at the mall."

"WHY?" she screamed.

"We'll explain later. I see you did a great job there."

"Can you? I'm seeing a fuck ton of walkers in front of the door."

"That is another thing we will have to explain. To sum up, we had not secured all of the building because we didn't know all the emergency exits."

"Well, what can I say, everybody has a bad day."

"Go to the East side, where we found the hidden family."

"That's an interesting issue, moving three children around."

"But they are young and faster. And usually lucky. We'll cover you."

"Okay, see you there."

It took them half an hour to reach the place, because of the walkers and the things they had to abandoned on the way out. Sasha and Lux kept pulling their rifles until they reached the outskirts, but there was no one waiting. They walked slower to pay attention and stopped before they reached that door.

"Sasha, I... I didn't tell you but..." Lux started.

"I know." she replied, weeping. "I saw him."

"I'm sorry."

Then someone opened the door and grabbed all of them inside.

"Welcome back." Gordon hugged them together at once. Ricked closed the door.

"Hi. Good morning." Lux grunted. "What are we supposed to do now, exactly?"

"We are leaving as soon as my remaining people clear the area and pick the Marine car you just ruined." he winked at her. "I couldn't ask you to bring it here, it wasn't safe."

"Thanks." Lux replied.

She saw Daryl, leaning back at a wall; his face was a mess. But she didn't ask.

"What about the others?" Sasha asked.

"There aren't. We lost the people from New York and some more from Virginia. There is us and that's it."

"Whoa." Lux sat down, exhausted. Daryl came towards her and held her tight.

"I'm sorry."

"No you're not. It's what you wanted."

"No." he broke down in tears. You don't know how sorry I am, and this morning I wanted to go and get you, but Gordon was so scared of losing us..."

She looked at him eye to eye. "Is it over? Is it over for good?"

He didn't ask what she was talking about. "Yes. Forever. I promise."


	21. Chapter 21

**Based on season 6, with a new female character, using her POV. Warning for explicit language and violence, mentions of sexual abuse and suicide.**

Lux gave birth to a healthy girl some months later. Daryl and her had a good relation again, trying not to talk much about the past. When her daughter was born, he was twelve hours late to see her; he was away on a mission, and when he arrived back, Heath told him, but Daryl preferred to have a fag first. He smoked half a packet before heading to the infirmary. But then they put little Andrea in his arms, he saw she was fine, and Lux too, and he vanished a good half of his bad memories. He was utterly happy.

Lux and Maggie did well as new mums, and everyone helped the way they could. She recovered slowly from her depression, though she had a breakdown after giving birth, but after seeing the baby was well, and she soon got back to duty, she relaxed and felt better.

Michonne left Rick right after going back to the community, and moved in with Sasha. Nobody ever talked about it.

The relation among Alexandria, Hilltop and the forces up in the mountains was good. They traded food, ammo, and help against the gangs around, which were more each day. They had many meetings with people from the three communities to talk issues, and they hung on well.

The children were doing good too, despite some aggressive fits now and then. Carl was growing up faster than expected, and started fighting a lot with Rick, because he didn't want to do as he said. He started spending some days at Hilltop to work at the farm, calm down and make new friends.

The most important of the lose ends was Carol. She was happy living there, and helping with the newborns, but still she had problems admitting they were in danger. She spent a long time with Lux and Daryl, together or apart, to talk and understand that sooner or later she should hold a gun again. But in the mean time she was glad to hold little babies.

* * *

On the day Andrea turned two months old, Lux went out again for a little task a Hilltop. She had left her daughter with Maggie and Carol, and most of the people were at the community, still she was anxious. Daryl calmed her down before heading to the ammo workshop, they would meet there at night. She was supposed to go with Heath, but eventually Rick decided to drive the car instead of going later. The trip was boring. It was getting hot again but the windows of the Corolla didn't open anymore.

"Can we stop for a minute? "Lux asked. "I need some fresh air."

"We are late, there is a lot to do... and I need to talk to you when we are there."

"What? What do you want?" Lux was looking at him, puzzled and bothered.

"Not now."

"Man, you're sweating your guts out. Just stop."

He pulled over and they got out to stretch.

"Tell me you brought water." Lux said.

"No, I'm sorry."

"Good." she replied, bothered.

Rick finally dared to look at her, after months avoiding it. She was getting fit again, healthy, happy, and beautiful as ever. Just how he wanted her to be when he found her.

"What did you want to tell me?" she asked, leaning on the car.

He sighed. "I'm leaving Alexandria. For good."

"What?"

"I'm going to live up in the mountains, with the troop."

She shook her head in denial. "No, you can't do that. Are you mad? You are the chief!"

"Ha ha, no, I'm not. It doesn't work like that. You always took me as the chief, but I'm not. Maggie is in charge most of the time, and Daryl will do a good job."

"But why? Why would you do that?"

He stared at her, concerned. "I want you to come with me."

Lux got nervous and crossed her arms. "What is this about?"

"I love you. And I can't go on like this, it doesn't work. I'm basically leaving everything up to Daryl and Gordon because I can't confront your husband."

She didn't reply.

"But you already knew. You always knew. You so proud and confident, acting like no big deal."

"Shut up." she mumbled.

"I want to take you with me, and you don't have to worry, we'll come back very often, more than now."

"You know it's not true." her voice trembled. "You know the roads are not safe and we could get blocked and isolated."

"I understand it if you don't want it, but you have to tell me."

"Tell you what?"

"That you don't love me. I am prepared for that."

She began to cry in silence. "You can't be doing this to me. You are the closest to a friend I've ever had, and if..."

"If what?"

"If Daryl wasn't in the picture, I wouldn't hesitate."

"But do you love me? It's just a yes or a no."

"Yes. I love you. But not like that. You're not him. And you don't know me. You are a good person, I'm a bad bitch. You don't know what I'm capable of. You're civilized."

"I know what you're like when you're angry, you used to live in my house, remember?"

"I don't mean that. I would hurt you. Daryl is different, he is messed up like me."

"Well, then it's a no."

"I can't run away with you." She walked some steps away and lit up a cigarette. "I don't want to. But I don't want you to go either, I can't imagine what it would be like."

"You'll see me, I told you I'll go there. I won't leave forever."

"But it's a farewell, and that's why you're telling me all this, and that's why it hurts so bad. Can't you really calm the fuck down and deal with him?"

"Well, we've tried. I promise. He hasn't told you about it, but it's been hard. And we're scared of messing up, fighting again, making you all pick a side and putting the communities at risk."

"Wait... So he knows you're leaving?"

"Yes, he knows that part. He doesn't know I'm declaring and asking you to come."

"How long has it been?"

"Why do you ask?"

"Curious. It's weird."

"Well, I didn't realize it until it was late." Rick looked away, trying to put himself together and reveal his secret. "More or less when Sasha fell down from the tower and you came running from bed, all scruffy, wearing just that damn dress. You got me, completely. You're not just beautiful, you're fierce. And the next day I had to tell you that you had to leave, and I felt so bad. But I couldn't manage to tell you how I felt for you. And then you were pregnant, and I knew you felt fragile, and it would have been unfair to put you in a situation like this."

She burst in laughter. "Damn, you're a creep." She turned serious again. "Is that why you left Michonne? Or did she leave you?"

"I'll never know. But she knew how I felt about you. That's the main reason she dumped you both."

"Fuck."

They both remained quiet for a while.

"Listen, I'm flattered, and I can't say I don't feel anything for you, but... please think it over. You have children."

"Carl is having a bad adolescence... and Judith..."

"I know, Daryl told me. But you have brought her up until now, and she needs you. We all do."

"Do you need me?"

She nodded, her eyes going blurry again. "I do. But I can't run away with you, I love him. I love him truly, he knows me better than anyone, and even then he puts up with me."

"He doesn't treat you right."

"He has flaws, like everyone, he just tries to make me endure before saving me every time."

Still, she approached him, shyly.

"I could do better." Rick tried his luck for the last time.

"But it wouldn't work." She took his hand. "You're a good man, but you're no a loser. You can't bring up yet another child from another man. We wouldn't be happy, I would miss him and it would be a disaster. I will miss you like hell if you go, but I think it's better like that."

"Does he make you happy?"

"Yes. We had bad times, but he realized that he's mine. My sweet jerk."

"Well, I give up, just like the first time I saw you." He winked at her, sad. "Let's go."

"Is there anything I can do so you don't leave us?"

"Actually not. I might change my mind at some point, but I'm glad to make this decision." He looked at her little fingers, tenderly. "Just, please, if he ever beats you or causes you any harm... please tell me."

"Yes." she muttered. "I will. I promise. Can I kiss you without being a lame bitch?" she said, pulling a naughty smile.

"Of course."

And so the did, softly, his hands on her waist, feeling the warm sunlight on them, enjoying their last chance together. And they were happy for one long minute.


End file.
